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Body Shop: Mischa Barton

Apr. 13, 2009by: Mr. Pink

Continuing the theme of last week I decided to check out another chick who largely made her career bones on TV, but is now struggling to get some big screen cred. Difference being that I've never really thought much about today's flava. So let's see if a closer look is kind to: MISCHA BARTON!

Check her out in - Assassination of a High School Principal

ASS (7/10):

Wow. It turns out she's a got a cute little tush. Given how much ink has been dedicated to her weight issues, I have to admit I was surprised to discover such a pleasing backside. Certainly not a world turner or anything, but quite tasty.

BOOBIES (8/10):

Here again I was taken aback to discover that Mischa's rocking some delicious treats. The great thing is her wo-man rockets hold up when they are unleashed too (NSFW). Great perkiness with a cute little slope, these boobies are the type that literally beg to be suckled.

FACE (8/10):

I'm now starting to question why I haven't had a higher opinion of Barton. Sure there's a slightly Stepford-ish quality to her face, but she's damn pretty, and no amount of focus on glazed eyes or oddly misaligned teeth is going to change that fact. Maybe all the hype around this young lady circa 2003 actually had some merit.

PERSONALITY (4/10):

To quote a great Soul II Soul song, "Back to life, back to reality." Barton may be hot but it seems to be outstanding packaging for a package of poo. The following two quotes were deal breakers here - 1) "I do intelligent roles. I don't want to be labeled as doing silly movies." 2) It kind of irritates me that I'm seen as this pretty face. People also say I'm too thin. The truth is pretty people aren't as accepted as other people. It comes with all these stigmas. Yeah. Wah f*cking wah you self-important baby.

CAREER (4/10):

It almost takes talent to have a career this undistinguished. Really her only good role is playing a dead, puking ghost, and most everything else is just flat forgettable. Now ASSASSINATION OF A HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL sounds like it could be wicked fun, so maybe the chick will get some legs under her for the first time since she left The O.C., but her recent history does not make one hopeful.

High points: THE SIXTH SENSE
Low points: TART, VIRGIN TERRITORY

OVERALL (6/10):

Weird one for me this week. I never thought much of Mischa Barton, but upon closer inspection I have to admit I get why she's enflamed so many libido's. Physically at least. Unfortunately she also comes across as a queen bitch who doesn't have the career chops to get away with slinging the attitude she's got. Maybe a few more years and a little more humility will bring her number up, but for now she's about what I thought, just for different reasons.

Source: MovieHotties

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7:37PM on 04/15/2009
She's very "meh" to me and being on the O.C. is a big no-no from me. And those quotes in the personality part also hurt.
She's very "meh" to me and being on the O.C. is a big no-no from me. And those quotes in the personality part also hurt.
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1:45AM on 04/14/2009
This is one of those times where we need a middle rating. She's simply alright.
This is one of those times where we need a middle rating. She's simply alright.
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5:34PM on 04/13/2009
I mean overrated
I mean overrated
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5:28PM on 04/13/2009
Her boobs are about a 1/10, and her face about a 4. I think she is one of the most underrated hotties ever.
Her boobs are about a 1/10, and her face about a 4. I think she is one of the most underrated hotties ever.
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12:12PM on 04/13/2009
I was surprised too with how good she looks nekkid.....but sadly my wiener's at half mast on this one, I loved the OC when it was on but I cannot say that I've seen her since she died off on the show. What a career!
I was surprised too with how good she looks nekkid.....but sadly my wiener's at half mast on this one, I loved the OC when it was on but I cannot say that I've seen her since she died off on the show. What a career!
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