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Body Shop: Natalie Portman

Sep. 24, 2007by: Mr. Pink

Not since Princess Leia put on that metal bikini has there been a simultaneous geekgasm like when this delicious young lady flickers to life on celluloid. So it's no surprise Geek Daddy Lucas asked her to play the womb that birthed the most famous hottie in nerd history. A moment of silence and respect for: NATALIE PORTMAN!

Check her out in - Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

ASS (7/10):

Nat's a pretty slender lass. That makes it a bit surprising to find her backside is more substantive than one would expect. Certainly not on par with even the weakest of the great butts in the world, but still not bad for a skinny white chick.

BOOBIES (6/10):

Word on the street is that Portman showcases her Nats in a short film that runs before Wes Anderson's THE DARJEELING EXPRESS. Even if it is true, 'cause you know we've been promised nudity before from her, who cares given you can see her pups right here. Let's be honest, not all that spectacular.

FACE (8/10):

This one surprised me, because going into this I was planning a 9 or 10 for the face. And don't get me wrong, NattyP is very hot, but a lot of her beauty is from personality. Her lips and teeth are the main mar on an otherwise lovely visage. Not sure what's going on there, but hey, it doesn't mean every guy on the planet wouldn't sleep with her in a second.

PERSONALITY (10/10):

Here's all I'm going to say on this matter: PURE AWESOMENESS!

CAREER (9/10):

Amazingly, over a long and varied career, The Portmeister has not had a bad performance. On top of that she's managed to avoid any embarrassing lapses in judgment when it comes to the films she's appeared in. While she lacks any career defining classic performance so far, it's really just a matter of time for this ridiculously talented young lady.

High points: THE PROFESSIONAL, BEAUTIFUL GIRLS, GARDEN STATE, V FOR VENDETTA
Low points: NONE

OVERALL (8/10):

While the magnitude of her hotness does not quite live up to its reputation when you subject it to cold analysis, there is no question that most red-blooded males would rather dock their ship in this port than any gussied up, silicone injected slut you could find. See ladies, we're not completely shallow - we like to bang smart chicks too!

Source: MovieHotties

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+1
3:59PM on 05/04/2010

Natalie's REAL Rating

Averaging the individual scores:
7+6+8+10+9=40
40 divided by 5 (number of categories)=
8.0 OVERALL

You have an OVERALL RATING of 8/10

And you are right on the money.
Averaging the individual scores:
7+6+8+10+9=40
40 divided by 5 (number of categories)=
8.0 OVERALL

You have an OVERALL RATING of 8/10

And you are right on the money.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
11:29PM on 09/24/2007
Beautiful Girls was her career-defining performance. She walked away with that movie, right under Uma Thurman, Matt Dillon, Mira Sorvino and a whole ton of other actors. That says it all right there.
Beautiful Girls was her career-defining performance. She walked away with that movie, right under Uma Thurman, Matt Dillon, Mira Sorvino and a whole ton of other actors. That says it all right there.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
8:02PM on 09/24/2007

HMMMM

I think her face is much more beautiful than you give her credit for.

And I LOVE the Natalie Portman rap! It just NEVER gets old.
I think her face is much more beautiful than you give her credit for.

And I LOVE the Natalie Portman rap! It just NEVER gets old.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
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