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Body Shop: Piper Perabo

Jul. 13, 2009by: Mr. Pink

All this Megan Fox talk of late got me thinking about former IT girls and whether or not they ever live up to their hype. Sadly the answer generally is no. A case in point is this week's lass who started off as the next big thing, but now seems more like that chick with the weird name. So is there any hope for: PIPER PERABO!

Check her out in - Carriers

ASS (8/10):

Very nice madam. Great shape and surprisingly present for a skinny-ish chica. Granted she doesn't show it off as much as I'd like, so it's tough to find great looks at Piper's backside. Oh well. The available evidence speaks well of her.

BOOBIES (2/10):

Gah. There's no there, there. Seriously this is about the most serious case of boobus absentius I've ever seen. As you can see in this pic (NSFW), Perabo has more nipple mass than boobie mass. It's actually kinda disturbing. I'm sure anyone lucky enough to be dating her would find lots to love about her chest. In the land of semi-anonymous internet judgment though, can't say as I see anything to like.

FACE (9/10):

Wanna know what it is that makes Piper so enticing? It's the face baby! She's got an amazing smile to start with. On top of that there's her ability to go from Girl Next Door to Heroin Chic in a hot minute. Gotta love that kind of beauty range. She may not have all cylinders pumping, but this particular piston is doing just fine.

PERSONALITY (6/10):

If I had to describe her personality with a food metaphor, which I will 'cause I'm sort of hungry right now, it'd be plain white bread. There's nothing I've seen to indicate she's worth not liking, but man oh man she comes across as pretty just...meh.

CAREER (5/10):

I still remember Roger Ebert busting a nut over Perabo as the only standout in R&B. I never really got the fascination myself, and she's not done anything since to distinguish herself. Unfortunately for her, heat only lasts so long. If superstardom was a non-admitted to dream, I'm said for her to say that ship has sailed.

High points: THE ADVENTURES OF ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE, COYOTE UGLY, LOST AND DELIRIOUS
Low points: SLAP HER...SHE'S FRENCH, PERCEPTION, THE CAVE

OVERALL (6/10):

Piper Perabo is a great example of how expected hotness can go awry. She is rocking the megawatt grin and to say she's easy on the eyes would certainly be an understatement. But when you get right down to it, there's not much of anything else to recommend her above your typical disposable hottie other than a difficult to spell name.

Source: MovieHotties

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10:52PM on 07/13/2009
I love how succinct Crazy Dud is when he thinks I'm nuts!
I love how succinct Crazy Dud is when he thinks I'm nuts!
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8:42PM on 07/13/2009
No. Just no.
No. Just no.
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6:56PM on 07/13/2009

Time to chill out R.O.U.S.121

If you wanna bitch about how I do this then go for it. Want everybody's feedback. That said, if you don't like a pic, then post a link to a better one and show me up, or keep it to yourself :-) And honestly the anger is a bit much given the subject matter we're dealing with here.

So that the Big R doesn't have an a stroke next week I promise to BS somebody who's got some fine ass shots to view, but as to the quality of what's been going on, here's my thoughts:

1) Hard to get a clear
If you wanna bitch about how I do this then go for it. Want everybody's feedback. That said, if you don't like a pic, then post a link to a better one and show me up, or keep it to yourself :-) And honestly the anger is a bit much given the subject matter we're dealing with here.

So that the Big R doesn't have an a stroke next week I promise to BS somebody who's got some fine ass shots to view, but as to the quality of what's been going on, here's my thoughts:

1) Hard to get a clear angle from Coyote Ugly on the booty. Only reason I didn't use it.

2) Personally thought the KD ass pic was a fun one. When there's not a clear usable shot I can find, I usually go with something that's fun at least.

3) Sienna's butt shot was evocative to me of what position I'd like her in to get down with it. Since the opening and boob pic in the article gave a nice look at her ass I wasn't too worried about it.
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5:34PM on 07/13/2009
[link]
Then Mr. Pink should have shown a picture of that. He doesn't and chooses a pic that we can't judge her ass from. He's done that to many times.
[link]
Then Mr. Pink should have shown a picture of that. He doesn't and chooses a pic that we can't judge her ass from. He's done that to many times.
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3:46PM on 07/13/2009
She shows her ass in Coyote Ugly.
She shows her ass in Coyote Ugly.
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12:45PM on 07/13/2009

Mr. Pink. You suck at choosing ass shots

70% of the time you can't judge the celebs ass you choose because of the pics you choose. The picture you chose for her is another awful one. You can't judge her ass from that pic because you can't really see it. The fact that you choose a pic like that is moronic.
70% of the time you can't judge the celebs ass you choose because of the pics you choose. The picture you chose for her is another awful one. You can't judge her ass from that pic because you can't really see it. The fact that you choose a pic like that is moronic.
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12:29PM on 07/13/2009
She's got that weird Julia Roberts/Steven Tyler massive mouth thing going, but she's still pretty cute. I also give any woman with the small bewbs credit for not opting with a horrible bewb job.
She's got that weird Julia Roberts/Steven Tyler massive mouth thing going, but she's still pretty cute. I also give any woman with the small bewbs credit for not opting with a horrible bewb job.
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9:31AM on 07/13/2009
Cute stuff. I give her a 7.
Cute stuff. I give her a 7.
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7:58AM on 07/13/2009

eh

She has never floated my boat, per se, and a 9/10 for face?!?! Really?!?! And since you gave her boobs a 2, I could maybe meet you half way, and say 4 for both.
She has never floated my boat, per se, and a 9/10 for face?!?! Really?!?! And since you gave her boobs a 2, I could maybe meet you half way, and say 4 for both.
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