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Body Shop: Teri Hatcher

03.31.2008by: Mr. Pink
100%

There are hot chicks, and there are funny chicks. Sometimes you find a funny hot chick (Jenny McCarthy), or a hot funny chick (Tina Fey), but nobody's turned hotness, goofiness, sluttiness and prudishness into the confusing gumbo that today's beauty has. For consistently making me feel funny in my pants AND my brainpan, I gotta give it up to: TERRI HATCHER!

Check her out in - Coraline

ASS (8/10):

When you first take Hatcher in with your eyes she seems to be largely made up of limbs, but then you realize, holy shite the chicks got curves too! Typically when a lass has the ceiling to floor gams that Teri sports, they're attached to a rump that's either noticeably absent or wider than might be considered advisable. Turns out, though, that she's in possession of fine and firm back cans.

BOOBIES (10/10):

Would it be heresy for me to admit that I've never seen what the big deal is about this particular pair of bouncy peaches? They're certainly nice, but I've never personally been agog about their grandeur. Still I am not one to fight the everlasting might of Seinfeld, or one of the best lines about someone's boobs ever - so I will baaa like a sheep and follow the crowd. They ARE real, and they ARE spectacular.

FACE (7/10):

Far better than average, but also far short of classic beauty. In fact Teri's look has always struck me as a trailer park version of Jamie Gertz (Less Than Zero anyone, anyone?). Her goofiness and approachability add to her attractiveness for sure, but when you take the face on its own merits it does not make it into the upper stratosphere.

PERSONALITY (9/10):

Smart, funny, goofy, sunshiny, open, approachable, sensual, matter-of-fact, MILF. Hatcher's that cheerleader you could talk to, and might have had a chance with if you'd ever gotten your confidence up. Plus she's a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and I've got nothing but respect for those who don't end up in jail or in a strip club after that sort of nasty intro to life. She's not exactly my kind of chick, but it's hard not to think she's aces.

CAREER (6/10):

TV's been pretty good to TH, movies not so much. She mostly shows up in forgettable roles as fairly cliched bimbo seductress types. The upside is that she always adds a little bit of unexpected flair even in the ugliest projects, and usually the worse the movie is the more likely she is to drop trou early and often. I suspect that may actually be written into her contracts.

High points: TANGO AND CASH, SOAPDISH, FEVER
Low points: THE COOL SURFACE, HEAVEN'S PRISONERS

OVERALL (7/10):

Desperate Housewives has caused Hatcher's stock to rise significantly in the last couple of years, so it'll be interesting to see what she starts to turn out cinematically now that she's moved into that zone of hot older chick rather than ingenue. I've always been a fan even though that perspective is largely driven by her vibe instead of her work. One thing's for sure, while she may never be the actress you first think of for a role, you're never disappointed to find out she's been cast. Not bad Teri.

Source: Movie Hotties

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+1
2:41AM on 04/01/2008
Oooh, good choice. I like Teri Hatcher, especially on Desperate Housewives. Her character's somewhat annoying, but also very, very sweet and funny and charming. Kudos, my man.
Oooh, good choice. I like Teri Hatcher, especially on Desperate Housewives. Her character's somewhat annoying, but also very, very sweet and funny and charming. Kudos, my man.
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1:41AM on 04/03/2008
I love Teri Hatcher. She's VERY hot and sexy and pretty damn good on Desperate Housewives as well as in the old tv show Lois and Clark.
I love Teri Hatcher. She's VERY hot and sexy and pretty damn good on Desperate Housewives as well as in the old tv show Lois and Clark.
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