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Body Shop: Thandie Newton

09.22.2008by: Mr. Pink

For the most part when the Brits send an export across the pond we more or less know what we're getting. A quirky lass with a surprisingly tasty body and looks that are appealing, though different from the classic beauty. Not this week. This miss may have the most perfectly structured face I've ever seen, and while she may not have the acting chops of some of her fellow countrywomen, who really gives a shite when you're staring at: THANDIE NEWTON!

Check her out in - W.

ASS (8/10):

Interestingly Ms. Newton has a very lovely derriere, but it doesn't have that certain something that causes visions of groveling and servitude to flash through my pervy brain. Obviously it's outstanding. and anyone getting to eat that buffet is a lucky duck, but the rarefied air that top booties breathe is just out of reach for Thandie's dandy.

BOOBIES (6/10):

I expect that there will be vocal disagreement with me here, because Newton's figs are quite tasty examples of female chest flesh for the most part, but her puffy areola just flat freak me out. I mean they look like one of those peanut butter cookies (NSFW) with a Hershey Kiss on top. I won't argue with anyone who thinks that's a good thing, but to me it's a turnoff.

FACE (10/10):

Flawless. Even that slight freckle under her right eye adds just the right amount of imperfection to support the surrounding perfection. In some ways Thandie looks more like an anime wet dream made flesh than a real human. Yet at the same time she can radiate a welcoming warmth and vulnerability that sucks you in too. Hard to imagine a more classically pretty face in my estimation.

PERSONALITY (7/10):

I'm torn here, because there seem to be multiple contradictions in the general coolness of The Newt. She's clearly intelligent and expresses herself well which is a total plus, but something about her general vibe strikes me as a bit bland. She also seems to consider herself a bit of an emotional mess, which likely means she's at the very least high-maintenance. Yet at the same time she named her daughter Ripley after Sigourney Weaver in Alien, so that gets her massive props. I'll be happy to do some field research on this subject if her people would like to clear up this issue.

CAREER (6/10):

Thandie's been in some outstanding flicks. You may notice I haven't included Crash in those, and that's because I didn't think any of the stories other than the Hispanic locksmith were much deeper than an Afterschool Special. The problem is that she hasn't really shined that much even in the good movies she's starred in. And let's be honest, she gets majorly dinged for having anything to do with Norbit.

High points: FLIRTING, GRIDLOCK'D, BELOVED, THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS
Low points: THE TRUTH ABOUT CHARLIE, NORBIT

OVERALL (8/10):

Thandie Newton is a bit of a curve breaker in my book, because while many of her overall marks are a little lower than some of the upper echelon hotties, her visage is so damn striking that the other elements almost don't matter. This is a Helen of Troy type mug, and that uniqueness deserves props regardless of other considerations.

Source: MovieHotties

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9:28PM on 09/24/2008

Cookies!? Got Milk!?

Hot. I've been in love with this chick since I saw her years ago in "Flirting". She's hot, exotic looking and just has that alluring look. Hey, I don't like those kinds of nips either friends, but I still give her a stiffy. None of you would kick her outta bed for eating crackers!
Hot. I've been in love with this chick since I saw her years ago in "Flirting". She's hot, exotic looking and just has that alluring look. Hey, I don't like those kinds of nips either friends, but I still give her a stiffy. None of you would kick her outta bed for eating crackers!
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2:51AM on 09/23/2008
I don't see it.
I don't see it.
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10:20PM on 09/22/2008

Meh

Doesnt do a thing for me.
Doesnt do a thing for me.
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7:40PM on 09/22/2008
Not a fan at all, she just has a much too severe look for me.
Not a fan at all, she just has a much too severe look for me.
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10:41AM on 09/22/2008
yeah, i'm not a fan of those kinds of nipples either. in no way would they ever be enough for me to turn her down, but they're still weird.

great everything else, though. i'd give that ass a 10.
yeah, i'm not a fan of those kinds of nipples either. in no way would they ever be enough for me to turn her down, but they're still weird.

great everything else, though. i'd give that ass a 10.
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8:22AM on 09/22/2008
The pic of her ass is a definite 10, but bro, couldnt agree more about the freakishness of those boobs. HUGE turnoff for me as well. I clicked that link and they immediately dropped to a 1/10.

Overall I'd give this chick a 6 though.
The pic of her ass is a definite 10, but bro, couldnt agree more about the freakishness of those boobs. HUGE turnoff for me as well. I clicked that link and they immediately dropped to a 1/10.

Overall I'd give this chick a 6 though.
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7:58AM on 09/22/2008

What a babe!

I've had the hots for this woman since "MI:2" and she just gets hotter each time I see her.
I've had the hots for this woman since "MI:2" and she just gets hotter each time I see her.
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