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Define "Fat"

Sep. 4, 2008by: Cherry Liquor

This is a picture of Jessica Simpson leaving some swank restaurant a couple of days ago. Now, according to OK! Magazine, one of the most reliable news representatives on the planet, Carrie Underwood is calling Jess fat. Like a give a shit about that. I mean, I'm irritated that there's still this presumption that if you break up with someone, you're automatically going to be acrimonious and start crap for them and whomever they end up with after you. (Although if the guy's legitimately got a small dick, I think it's a civic duty for you to tell the new girl so that's she's forewarned. That's only fair.)

But while we're on the topic of size, let's be honest here. WTF defines "fat" anymore? I'm thinking that if it's based on your height and your build and the little charts that the doctors give you, you should know if you're the right weight. But I also think that people don't account for muscle or curviness (think of ScarJo... would it honestly bother you to know that she weighed 5 pounds over her "ideal" weight if it meant you got to see her naked and touch the good stuff?) these days. Tell me... what is your definition of "fat"?

Source: OK!Magazine

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12:24AM on 10/05/2008

vice detective

Jessica is not fat.

She still is hot.
Jessica is not fat.

She still is hot.
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10:12AM on 09/05/2008
maybe she talking about her boobs. thats about the only thing thats fat on her. are you sure she didnt mean PHAT?
maybe she talking about her boobs. thats about the only thing thats fat on her. are you sure she didnt mean PHAT?
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9:25AM on 09/05/2008

Definition...

FAT: When the carpet doesn't match the curtains, but the person needs to look in a mirror see their own carpet to know it
FAT: When the carpet doesn't match the curtains, but the person needs to look in a mirror see their own carpet to know it
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8:34AM on 09/05/2008
Jess is mad hella boinga boinga hot.

My definition of fat? Women who live in Antigo, WI.

Did I just say boinga boinga? weird.
Jess is mad hella boinga boinga hot.

My definition of fat? Women who live in Antigo, WI.

Did I just say boinga boinga? weird.
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8:48PM on 09/04/2008
Carrie's just jealous of Jess' bodacious bod. Carrie actually looked a lot hotter back when she won Idol and was slightly thick.

I think fat is when you can't brush your teeth without your stomach jiggling.

Jess is bangin' and those boobs are just beautiful.
Carrie's just jealous of Jess' bodacious bod. Carrie actually looked a lot hotter back when she won Idol and was slightly thick.

I think fat is when you can't brush your teeth without your stomach jiggling.

Jess is bangin' and those boobs are just beautiful.
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7:22PM on 09/04/2008

Carrie Underwear...

I'd let her stay in the room and serenade me and Jess as we made sweet love for at least 30-35 seconds (Al Bundy's one of my heroes). Fat my ass. She's built like a brick house, dumb as a post, but built.

Hell, I might even let Carrie touch it, if she begged me.
I'd let her stay in the room and serenade me and Jess as we made sweet love for at least 30-35 seconds (Al Bundy's one of my heroes). Fat my ass. She's built like a brick house, dumb as a post, but built.

Hell, I might even let Carrie touch it, if she begged me.
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