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Douche Dumps Jen!

Aug. 13, 2008by: Cherry Liquor

Jennifer Aniston, seen here yesterday bending over while attending to her pooch, apparently has been kicked in those fine rear quarters. Word is coming out that John Mayer, aka the world's biggest (and most unjustifiably lucky) douchebag, has dumped Jen.

"There's been a bit of tension for some time," says a source close to 30-year-old John. "They initially opted for a break, hoping a trial split might make them stronger. Sadly it doesn't seem to have worked." Rumours also included Jennifer wanting more from the relationship than John was willing to give her. (I don't think asking to be called by one's first name rather than "baby" or "sweetie" is too much to ask for, since you know that bastard can't keep them all straight.)

Time will tell if this is actually true or not, but going by both Mayer and Aniston's respective track records, I think we can all safely say that we were surprised they made it this long.

Source: Mirror UK

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2:46PM on 08/14/2008

He's gay

I think he is trying to work his way to Brad Pitt.
I think he is trying to work his way to Brad Pitt.
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11:55AM on 08/14/2008

why?

would he want to settle down. my man has been getting some of the most quality hotties in hollywood. he would be a douchbag if he did settle down. live the dream John. i sense some jelousy in the hate towards him. not a fan of his music, but dont hate the player.
would he want to settle down. my man has been getting some of the most quality hotties in hollywood. he would be a douchbag if he did settle down. live the dream John. i sense some jelousy in the hate towards him. not a fan of his music, but dont hate the player.
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4:39AM on 08/14/2008

She's annoying...

And she can't hold onto a man. But Mayer's the douchebag? Ok. He's always seemed like a cool dude to me. While Aniston has always annoyed the living fuck out of me. How long were they dating and she was alreay talking about a baby? Pump your brakes, Jen.
And she can't hold onto a man. But Mayer's the douchebag? Ok. He's always seemed like a cool dude to me. While Aniston has always annoyed the living fuck out of me. How long were they dating and she was alreay talking about a baby? Pump your brakes, Jen.
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12:57AM on 08/14/2008
1, John Mayer is not a fake person. He's a deep guy, go google some interviews with him or listen to a deep album track or two.

2, She was uber-needy and clingy and scared the poor bastard away. Three months of dating and already talking about a baby? What the fuck?

3, John Mayer is awesome. I've seen him in concert twice, and there's a goddam reason he's famous. He can wail on a guitar and hold his own with the best.
1, John Mayer is not a fake person. He's a deep guy, go google some interviews with him or listen to a deep album track or two.

2, She was uber-needy and clingy and scared the poor bastard away. Three months of dating and already talking about a baby? What the fuck?

3, John Mayer is awesome. I've seen him in concert twice, and there's a goddam reason he's famous. He can wail on a guitar and hold his own with the best.
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11:20PM on 08/13/2008

Not surprised...

Two things here:

1: John Mayer doesn't want to be in a serious relationship. Not with Jessica Simpson, not with Jennifer Aniston and not the next big celebrity he bangs.

2: If Aniston wants a real relationship, she needs to stop going out with fake people. Problem is, she's so rich and famous, she wouldn't know a real person if she ran into them. They're invisible to her now.
Two things here:

1: John Mayer doesn't want to be in a serious relationship. Not with Jessica Simpson, not with Jennifer Aniston and not the next big celebrity he bangs.

2: If Aniston wants a real relationship, she needs to stop going out with fake people. Problem is, she's so rich and famous, she wouldn't know a real person if she ran into them. They're invisible to her now.
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11:11PM on 08/13/2008
who cares???
who cares???
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7:13PM on 08/13/2008
meh, i could care less what happens to either one of them. they're both pointlessly famous, as far as i'm concerned.

we need a "i don't care" rating.
meh, i could care less what happens to either one of them. they're both pointlessly famous, as far as i'm concerned.

we need a "i don't care" rating.
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