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Douchebag Speaketh!

Jun. 23, 2008by: Cherry Liquor

Before the blessed twins grace the planet (supposedly early next month), let us take a moment and reflect not only on Angelina's beauty but the sharp douchebaggery ways of the infinitely wise John Mayer.

"Everyone thinks Brad Pitt has it great because he married Angelina Jolie. I think he has it terrible, because when Angelina Jolie is giving you a blow job, what do you tip your head back and think of to help you finish? You have nothing left just Jesus on a polar bear in the middle of the snow, saying, 'You greedy motherf*cker, I've got nothing for you.'" - JM (circa 2006)

Extra Tidbit: Mayer is now dating the former Mrs. Pitt, Jennifer Aniston.
Source: Rolling Stone

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3:52PM on 06/27/2008
I still think it's a terrific joke.
I still think it's a terrific joke.
Your Reply:



7:45PM on 06/24/2008
hahahahaha
hahahahaha
Your Reply:



1:43AM on 06/24/2008
it's a dumb joke.
it's a dumb joke.
Your Reply:



1:30AM on 06/24/2008

oh my God

People on here need to learn how to take a joke.
People on here need to learn how to take a joke.
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12:00AM on 06/24/2008
angelina is beyond gorgeous...even tho she was looking skeletor there for awhile...i do disagree with his thoughts.

but i'm sorry he's hilarious.
angelina is beyond gorgeous...even tho she was looking skeletor there for awhile...i do disagree with his thoughts.

but i'm sorry he's hilarious.
Your Reply:



9:55PM on 06/23/2008
hah! what a dumbass. why would anyone want to close their eyes and imagine being somewhere else, when you have Angelina Jolie's luscious lips wrapped around your johnson, looking up at you with those huge eyes?

hell, i would hope for an aneurysm right there, because i can't imagine life getting any better than that.
hah! what a dumbass. why would anyone want to close their eyes and imagine being somewhere else, when you have Angelina Jolie's luscious lips wrapped around your johnson, looking up at you with those huge eyes?

hell, i would hope for an aneurysm right there, because i can't imagine life getting any better than that.
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9:00PM on 06/23/2008
Don't care. John Mayer = God in P.Drewville. I love the guy and that joke has always made me laugh.

Another good John Mayer joke: "I'm not worried about how small my penis is I'm worried about how dark it is. I have a Dominican penis. My penis hit six home runs last year; my penis wears shoes without socks."
Don't care. John Mayer = God in P.Drewville. I love the guy and that joke has always made me laugh.

Another good John Mayer joke: "I'm not worried about how small my penis is I'm worried about how dark it is. I have a Dominican penis. My penis hit six home runs last year; my penis wears shoes without socks."
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8:22PM on 06/23/2008
When you have Angelina blowing you, you don't need to think of someone else to finish off. Not that she's the end all be all, but she's smoking.

I can see where he's coming from but he's way off base here.
When you have Angelina blowing you, you don't need to think of someone else to finish off. Not that she's the end all be all, but she's smoking.

I can see where he's coming from but he's way off base here.
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8:06PM on 06/23/2008

C#cksucker!

First off, they're not married which just makes Mayer sound like a fucking idiot. Secondly, Angelina's pinky finger is hotter than that skank he's banging (Aniston in case you're not sure).
First off, they're not married which just makes Mayer sound like a fucking idiot. Secondly, Angelina's pinky finger is hotter than that skank he's banging (Aniston in case you're not sure).
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