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Face Off: Christina Hendricks vs. Kat Dennings

Mar. 18, 2013by: Droz

Were there some sneaky folks messing about in last week's Face Off. between Sofia Vergara and Jessica Biel? I always suspect some not-so-clever meddling with the browser cookies when I see such lopsided comment votes in a closely contested Face Off. Well, congrats, potential meddlers. All your diligence earned you exactly squat, as Jessica Biel still won, regardless of your love for Sofia. Not that I'm knocking those who love Sofia. Girl is smoking - that's why I picked her for this. Just turned out the majority of us love Jessica a little more. I guess this proves that comment votes mean squat when it comes to Face-Off results. Time to direct your efforts elsewhere, clever dicks.

Manipulative boobs aside, this week we're comparing two more ladies who have an extra special something in common. Melons of people watch Christina Hendricks and Kat Dennings on their respective TV shows every week, many just for the opportunity to catch a glimpse of their massive mounds. So popular are these cans do ladies persuasive pairs, they've helped win them awards and actually manage to keep one of their shows afloat with little more than the buoyancy of her bouncing baby balloons. Tough job then, deciding which gallons and her enormous eye magnets gets the biggest vote tatas. This is an udderly huge undertaking, but let's jugs honkers down and see if one of them will knockers it out of the park. Tits.

Bosoms

It's yet another Sophie's choice. It feels ridiculous even attempting to make the claim that one of these ladies is better than the other in this category. Truth be told, I would sever vital parts of my person for a chance to get at what either of these two ladies is rocking under their reinforced bras. Gotta make a choice though and the mystery factor gets the better of me here. We have yet to get a good look at everything Christina has going on under there (unless you believe the leaked pics are of her). Though the sight of at least 3 quarters of them sticking out of her awards show dresses is enough to know that they are heaven sent for the big boob fan.

Okay, I'll come clean and admit that I flipped a coin on this one. There's no way for me to choose rationally between two such wonderful racks. It's as if one were presented with two equally wonderful concepts of paradise and then asked to decide which one was better. There's just no way to do it. The only thing you can do is cover your eyes, play eeny, meeny, miny, moe and do your best not to think too much about the one you passed up.

Beauty

I know my fellow Firefly fans will agree that Christina's first appearance on many folks' radar over a decade ago was not so much as the big-boobied goddess, but as the sweet-faced betrothed to Captain Malcolm. Of course, we soon came to appreciate the full package when she went sans clothing later, but up until her Mad Men debut, my memory of Christina was more about how gorgeous she was on that show. Ten years later, Christina is still a beautiful woman.

Kat's beauty is a little more, shall we say, esoteric? She's not your traditional beauty, but I actually kind of like that. It's a good thing when the hotties defy the beauty norms and do their own thing. However, there are times when her exaggerated features, like those puffy lips, get a little out of control. For instance, if she wears too dark a lipstick it starts too look like she's suffering from a shellfish allergy. Though when she keeps it natural, she's a stunner. It's that easy tipping point that gives her second place here.

Body

I suspect the effects of married life have caused Christina to ease up on the cardio lately. I'm not going to complain, as curves don't bother me. However, she has come dangerously close to violating the borders of curvaceous and proceeding into pudgy in recent years. Thankfully new seasons of Mad Men have spurred her to get into better shape, but who knows what might happen when that show goes off the air. Hopefully Christina can keep it together. I'd hate to see her take the Kirstie Alley path.

Kat is no stranger to the curves, though she has managed to keep them in check thus far. Kat is a throwback to those classier days of old, when all the fine hotties had bodies like mountain roads. Her body is how I would have all women's bodies look. Sadly, few ladies in Hollywood seem to agree with me. I know Kat does though, which is why she wins here.

Blurry Naked Pics

So awful that such terrible people would commit these criminal abuses against the privacy of two such beloved hotties. Okay, now that we've got the bullshit caveats out of the way, we can decide which leaked pics were better. Unfortunately for Christina, her flirtations with candid cellphone photography were more cute than carnal. Sure, there was that one pic, but I'm calling shenanigans on that. Christina denies it's her and it's also too convenient in that it's got nothing but zoomed in boobs. Still a nice set of pics to satisfy the peeping tom in all of us, but lagging behind against her competition in this round.

Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you feel about them, the days of leaked celebrity cellphone pics are probably behind us. Hackers are scared of doing serious prison time and celebs are so scared about people rifling through their phones that they've probably enacted various draconian safety measures. Still, it can be argued that the best pic proceeds to come from that brief window of famous hottie privacy intrusion were Kat's. It's clear she knew what the intended recipient of her photos wanted to see and didn't fail to deliver. Unfortunately for Kat, many unintended recipients also got a look, but she has little reason for embarrassment. Kat's got nothing to be ashamed of.

Boob Tube Shows

Mad Men will go down as one of the finest shows ever broadcast. A lot of that has to do with Christina, who over 6 seasons has created many of that show's best moments. Her sassy office overseer character Joan and the endless, blatant acts of office place sexual harassment she deals with, may not be politically correct. Yet as a frank exploration of bygone days, it's damn fine television. Also, Christina looks hot in those tight, 60s dresses. I can say that, right?

I'm no sitcom fan, so perhaps my bias is showing here. However, I'm pretty sure Two Broke Girls is the most unfunny thing I've ever watched. It's not even good for a chuckle. All I really got out of it was the opportunity to see Kat in a tight waitress uniform. This may be one of the few shows in television history to be kept afloat by the power of tits. I hope everyone on that show gives Kat's boobs a little kickback for keeping them in a job.

Christina

If you enjoy indulging in the wonders of the big boobs, either one of these ladies is a walking nirvana. I give Christina the win here because she's got a more consistently pretty face and a better TV show. Paltry issues aside, as a veteran spokesperson for the big titty committee, I find little to complain about in either of these hotties.

That's where I'm at. Where are you?
POST YOUR CHOICE BELOW...!!

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10:49PM on 03/20/2013

Personally...

I like Dennings more. From what I've seen, her personality >
I like Dennings more. From what I've seen, her personality >
Your Reply:



5:23AM on 03/19/2013
Hendricks, but Dennings ain't no slouch either.
Hendricks, but Dennings ain't no slouch either.
Your Reply:



+4
3:19AM on 03/19/2013
Kat wins hands down.
Kat wins hands down.
Your Reply:



12:57AM on 03/19/2013

We're all winners.

In this contest, there are no losers. We all win. And moreover, I think this here internet article is actual proof of God. That's right, I said it, when I look at these pictures, it makes me believe that there is a God, and he (or she) loves us, and wants us to be happy.
In this contest, there are no losers. We all win. And moreover, I think this here internet article is actual proof of God. That's right, I said it, when I look at these pictures, it makes me believe that there is a God, and he (or she) loves us, and wants us to be happy.
Your Reply:



2:21AM on 03/19/2013
You just said that you're not sure if the god you believe in is a he or she, so what god do you believe in?
You just said that you're not sure if the god you believe in is a he or she, so what god do you believe in?
+5
12:48AM on 03/19/2013
Hmmm, who to motor boat first. Decisions, decisions.
Hmmm, who to motor boat first. Decisions, decisions.
Your Reply:



11:59PM on 03/18/2013

That's right!

Christina Hendricks all the way.

2 Broke Girls is such shit. The show is terrible.
Christina Hendricks all the way.

2 Broke Girls is such shit. The show is terrible.
Your Reply:



11:56PM on 03/18/2013

Gah...

Damn double posts!
Damn double posts!
Your Reply:



11:56PM on 03/18/2013

You could've...

...given the bosoms category to both...sharing is caring...
...given the bosoms category to both...sharing is caring...
Your Reply:



11:45PM on 03/18/2013

We all win

Threesome. :D
Threesome. :D
Your Reply:



10:47PM on 03/18/2013

Dennings

No contest.
No contest.
Your Reply:



9:25PM on 03/18/2013
Dennings all the way
Dennings all the way
Your Reply:



+9
8:32PM on 03/18/2013
Kat Dennings is my pick.nothing against Hendricks though
Kat Dennings is my pick.nothing against Hendricks though
Your Reply:



7:40PM on 03/18/2013
Glad Hendricks won. A Favorite. But I'm surprised hair color didn't play a factor. That red hair...mmmm! I'll be in my bunk.
Glad Hendricks won. A Favorite. But I'm surprised hair color didn't play a factor. That red hair...mmmm! I'll be in my bunk.
Your Reply:



7:12PM on 03/18/2013

Another Classic Battle

Aghh! I can not decide...I agree with Hendricks winning by a narrow margin...I would eventually pick Kat Dennings, not only body wise but also personality wise , she seems a little cooler.
Aghh! I can not decide...I agree with Hendricks winning by a narrow margin...I would eventually pick Kat Dennings, not only body wise but also personality wise , she seems a little cooler.
Your Reply:



7:06PM on 03/18/2013

Wow

The Dennings fans have absolutely flipped, haven't they? Both are bringing the curves back in vogue big time, along with Vergara. No losers here.
The Dennings fans have absolutely flipped, haven't they? Both are bringing the curves back in vogue big time, along with Vergara. No losers here.
Your Reply:



6:55PM on 03/18/2013

Kat

Kat. Always Kat. Forever Kat.
Kat. Always Kat. Forever Kat.
Your Reply:



5:50PM on 03/18/2013

Dennings

She's hotter than hendricks all across the board
She's hotter than hendricks all across the board
Your Reply:



4:49PM on 03/18/2013

Dennings

Shes shown the goods, and they're good :)
Shes also better overall, Hendricks boobs look a bit ridiculous, and shes too pale.
Shes shown the goods, and they're good :)
Shes also better overall, Hendricks boobs look a bit ridiculous, and shes too pale.
Your Reply:



4:40PM on 03/18/2013

Hendricks is overrated.

I do not think she will age well. If you look at old pictures of her you'll see she's been steadily gaining weight. Kat is pretty much perfect.
I do not think she will age well. If you look at old pictures of her you'll see she's been steadily gaining weight. Kat is pretty much perfect.
Your Reply:



3:58PM on 03/18/2013
Dennings is at least in shape, with Hendricks I am surprised that the picky crowd here still think she was still hot after those one piece bathing suit pics of her with lumpy thighs got out. Not against girls with some shape and meat to them, but this red head is all presentation. With Kat, her twitter breast reveal pics looked awesome, and those were not touched up or tweaked.
Dennings is at least in shape, with Hendricks I am surprised that the picky crowd here still think she was still hot after those one piece bathing suit pics of her with lumpy thighs got out. Not against girls with some shape and meat to them, but this red head is all presentation. With Kat, her twitter breast reveal pics looked awesome, and those were not touched up or tweaked.
Your Reply:



3:27PM on 03/18/2013

Dennings

Kat Dennings

Hendricks is too weird. For every picture where she looks hot/cute, there are 9 where she just looks very odd, waaaaaaaaaaaay too much make-up and wearing push-ups (which she obviously doesn't need) so she looks ridiculous instead of hot (see the picture under "beauty" on this page, looks like an amateuristic photoshop, she has no sense of style)
Kat Dennings

Hendricks is too weird. For every picture where she looks hot/cute, there are 9 where she just looks very odd, waaaaaaaaaaaay too much make-up and wearing push-ups (which she obviously doesn't need) so she looks ridiculous instead of hot (see the picture under "beauty" on this page, looks like an amateuristic photoshop, she has no sense of style)
Your Reply:



3:11PM on 03/18/2013

No Fair!!!!

They're both good - - "A TIE!" I scream!
I pick BOTH
They're both good - - "A TIE!" I scream!
I pick BOTH
Your Reply:



+4
12:58PM on 03/18/2013

Hendricks - you kidding me?

She is needing lots of help to make that mug pretty - Kat Dennings has sex appeal in spades. Dennings wins this for me
She is needing lots of help to make that mug pretty - Kat Dennings has sex appeal in spades. Dennings wins this for me
Your Reply:



4:09PM on 03/18/2013
They both look like clowns most of the time. Not really sure why Hendricks gets so much attention - weird face + outer edge of 'curvy' not really that hot..
They both look like clowns most of the time. Not really sure why Hendricks gets so much attention - weird face + outer edge of 'curvy' not really that hot..
3:34PM on 03/18/2013
Dennings needs as much or more to get her mug pretty too. Ever seen her without makeup? Yikes.
Dennings needs as much or more to get her mug pretty too. Ever seen her without makeup? Yikes.
12:54PM on 03/18/2013

Hendricks

Dennings is like the chick you would have the one insanely wild, crazy kinky fling with. Hendricks is the goddess you marry.
Dennings is like the chick you would have the one insanely wild, crazy kinky fling with. Hendricks is the goddess you marry.
Your Reply:



12:07PM on 03/18/2013

Good call

Hendricks takes this one all the way.
Hendricks takes this one all the way.
Your Reply:



12:04PM on 03/18/2013
I love that the first category is titled "bosoms". It wouldn't be any other way.
I love that the first category is titled "bosoms". It wouldn't be any other way.
Your Reply:



10:21AM on 03/18/2013

Kat Dennings

all the way, Christina Hendricks does nothing for me & i consider her ovverrated
all the way, Christina Hendricks does nothing for me & i consider her ovverrated
Your Reply:



+6
10:15AM on 03/18/2013
I'm for Kat, never been a fan of Christina.
I'm for Kat, never been a fan of Christina.
Your Reply:



-14
9:45AM on 03/18/2013

Neither

A woman's breast size isn't a question of beauty at all. Look at her face, look into her eyes. That's where the real magic happens.

Being a man, I love the shape of a woman, but if I don't think she has a beautiful face, I don't look any further.

Hendricks has minimal appeal, and Dennings holds no appeal for me whatsoever - I can only surmise that most guys wouldn't give these women a second glance if not for their gigantic chests.

That being said, Christina's face looks amazing
A woman's breast size isn't a question of beauty at all. Look at her face, look into her eyes. That's where the real magic happens.

Being a man, I love the shape of a woman, but if I don't think she has a beautiful face, I don't look any further.

Hendricks has minimal appeal, and Dennings holds no appeal for me whatsoever - I can only surmise that most guys wouldn't give these women a second glance if not for their gigantic chests.

That being said, Christina's face looks amazing in a handful of pics, but Dennings just looks like a complete dope.

Stop pushing your breasts so high so they overshadow your looks. So you can mash them together and make cleavage.

Big deal.
Your Reply:



1:34PM on 03/18/2013
I pretty much agree with you here ggfunk!
I pretty much agree with you here ggfunk!
12:01PM on 03/18/2013
Christina Hendricks would be gorgeous in any shape, in my opinion. She's just beautiful. Kat Dennings is more real-world cute than gorgeous, but I think that's always been part of her appeal. Boobs or not, she's the girl you were actually friends with in high school.
Christina Hendricks would be gorgeous in any shape, in my opinion. She's just beautiful. Kat Dennings is more real-world cute than gorgeous, but I think that's always been part of her appeal. Boobs or not, she's the girl you were actually friends with in high school.
11:00AM on 03/18/2013
Hi Pred. I hear you. It's just not my thing. I agree, 'it' has to work overall for a woman to be attractive.
Hi Pred. I hear you. It's just not my thing. I agree, 'it' has to work overall for a woman to be attractive.
10:45AM on 03/18/2013
I find them both extremely appealing even without the massive breasts. I'm note even a fan of large breasts but it works for them cause they have the body for them.
I find them both extremely appealing even without the massive breasts. I'm note even a fan of large breasts but it works for them cause they have the body for them.
10:22AM on 03/18/2013
props for being open
props for being open
7:59AM on 03/18/2013
I'd give anything to have either of them so they're both winners.
I'd give anything to have either of them so they're both winners.
Your Reply:



6:10AM on 03/18/2013

Everything dealing with their looks and their body gets a huge thumbs down!

And no way in hell does Kat have a wonderful rack. She has torpedo titties and they're disgusting.....Also, when they both get older, their tits are going to sag like crazy. That's just gross.
And no way in hell does Kat have a wonderful rack. She has torpedo titties and they're disgusting.....Also, when they both get older, their tits are going to sag like crazy. That's just gross.
Your Reply:



5:03AM on 03/18/2013

I have a solution.....

I have a suggestion. Why not....listen closely......get these women naked, coat them in oil, and rub them together until they become one glorious being!!! Just a thought.
I have a suggestion. Why not....listen closely......get these women naked, coat them in oil, and rub them together until they become one glorious being!!! Just a thought.
Your Reply:



3:06AM on 03/18/2013

Christina Hendricks

Christina is hot and she does a damn fine job on Mad Men. I just don't find Kat Dennings to be attractive and her show is atrocious.
Christina is hot and she does a damn fine job on Mad Men. I just don't find Kat Dennings to be attractive and her show is atrocious.
Your Reply:



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