The majority of you appear to prefer the nicer ladies (or ladies called Kristen Bell) over the naughty, as evidenced by the results of last week's Face Off, where nice won by a vote of 13 to 4. Sounds like ya'll have been hurt before by a not-so-nice lady. I feel your pain.
So this week we're dealing with opposites, much like we were last week. Only this time around, it's physical opposites. There's not a lot of correspondence between curvy Christina Hendricks and the petite Mila Kunis. In fact, there's pretty much nothing about either one that corresponds, other than their gender and the basic orientation of their features. Still, if you were placed in the highly unlikely situation of deciding between Christina and Mila, which of these two lovely ladies would you chose? Let's try to narrow it down, shall we?
Christina can be pretty, when she wants to be or is properly made that way. Other times, she can look positively clown-like. You typically get the pretty version when she's on her shows, under the control of a professional make up person. You get the more garish version of her one when she's left to make her own cosmetics choices. So these fluctuations are probably just a matter of personal taste and not necessarily a knock against her looks. Though a bit more consistency would be good here.
I don't think I've ever seen Mila look bad. Even when she's au naturale, she's still a beautiful woman. Those big, gypsy eyes can and do bewitch a man's soul. Mila certainly knows how to work them too. Those Eastern European genes are impressive when it comes to feminine beauty. I don't know why that is. Maybe it's the water. Maybe it's all that Chernobyl radiation. Whatever it is, some of the most beautiful ladies get churned out from that part of the world, so they must be doing something right.
So here's the one that's going to be the most contentious I'm sure. Those of you who recall anything of what I've written in the past will know that I'm all about the curvy girls. That's just the body style to which my eyes and other parts of my anatomy naturally gravitate. Christina's clearly rocking one of the curviest bodies. In fact, she pretty much wrote the book on what it means to be a curvy gal in today's world. A fan of such ladies has gotta hand it to her for that.
There's clearly nothing wrong with Mila. I'm sure there are plenty of you much more inclined toward her frame and that's fine. Her body is just as beautifully constructed as her face. However, since we're talking about a "one or the other" situation, the prospect of having Christina's body to do with as I wished is simply too great a thing for me to pass up. I'm not saying Mila wouldn't be a temptation. It's just that having such a choice would be a lifelong memory moment. Gotta swing for the fences.
Christina is sweet, but perhaps a little too bubbly for me. She's fond of saying how girly she is, which is all well and good, but I guess my preference is for the ladies with a bit more empathy for the male psyche. I'm more for the kind of girl who can just hang out and not be constantly in a state of grooming or pruning themselves for maximum visual appeal. Not that I criticize her for that. If I were her guy though, I'd have a great urge to monopolize as much of her time as I could. Not sure how well Christina would react to that.
I don't know everything there is to know about Mila, but from what I can gather she seems like a pretty easy-going, fun sort of person who one can get along with fairly easily. She doesn't seem like the type to freak out or run around on you. Hell, she stayed with Macaulay Culkin for close to a decade, so she's nothing if not loyal. From her interviews and the various characters she plays, you get a sense that she's the sort of person folks enjoy being around. That's my kind of girl.
Christina seems to have a greater range than Mila. Her main gig as Joan Halloway on Mad Men has asked quite a lot from Christina over the years and she's delivered convincing performances time and time again. That's probably why she's one of the most popular people on that show. Well, maybe the second reason why.
Mila's range is somewhat more limited I think. She's not a bad actress, but she only seems to be good at being laid back or pissed off and yelling. There's not very much happening in between. When she has tried to expand her range, I've never really found it convincing. She was pretty good in BLACK SWAN though, so maybe the future will see her grow as an actress.
Kind of in a corner here, as my obsessive fanboy status toward all things Firefly forbids me from voting against anyone who was on that show, especially the one who got naked and worked the sexy like few ever could. I've never wanted to be robbed and left naked in the desert so bad in my life. But I'm also a huge Mad Men fan, so it's not all about the Whedon productions. 95 percent, tops.
I've enjoyed a lot of Mila's work, although lately there's been a little too much romcom shit for my tastes. I like her regular comedies, particularly the one's where she's allowed to be a bit funny herself. She's actually got pretty good comic timing, perfected over her time on That 70s Show and Family Guy. It looks like she's got more serious dramas coming up though - a genre which has has mixed results for her. Let's hope she can make those happen.
Yeah, predictable maybe, but I never said I was a rebel or anything. Christina has got what I need. That's pretty much all that matters. Mila is like a fine wine of which anyone would be privileged to partake. But Christina is a full course meal and I'm a hungry man in need of sustenance. That's one woman who could satisfy the most ravenous hunger and then some.