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Guess who's sent her elven hubby back to Valinor?

Oct. 25, 2013by: Droz

Speaking of sexy Aussies, how does a single Miranda Kerr strike you? Sounds pretty good to me. Not that I would ever have a shot there, but at least I don't have to think about her banging Orlando Bloom anymore. Seems that Ms. Kerr has decided her pretty boy pirate elf hubby just wasn't cutting it anymore and decided to leave his effeminate ass behind to scout some more promising opportunities in the hot, butt-naked sex arena. According to the former couple, the split was amicable and mutual and everyone still loves each other. Yeah, whatever. They always say that, but if you love each other so much, why are you splitting? Not that any of that matters, as I'm sure the both of them will be neck deep in enough penis and vagina to soothe their woes. Actually, they probably already are as they've been unofficially separated for some time now.

This is surely the issue with beautiful people who marry. When you're someone who can literally walk into a place and know that the entire occupancy would gladly ride you like a show pony, how does one justify limiting themselves to one person? That shit just has to mess with you after awhile, especially if you're a guy. If you've got armies of fine young things begging for your cock (which, let's face it, is every guy's dream), it's just not natural to turn that down so you can restrict yourself to that other person you call wife who is probably much less in demand of your cock by that point. This also proves the old adage that no matter how beautiful a girl is, there's a guy who's tired of her shit.

Click on each photo to enlarge!

Extra Tidbit: Call me, Miranda. Please?

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7:42PM on 10/25/2013
I've heard lots of stories of her being a huge bitch and being an awful wife, even rumors of her cheating on him. And she comes off as so vain and arrogant in interviews. I prefer women who are down-to-earth and humble.
I've heard lots of stories of her being a huge bitch and being an awful wife, even rumors of her cheating on him. And she comes off as so vain and arrogant in interviews. I prefer women who are down-to-earth and humble.
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3:32AM on 10/26/2013
That's the dumbest shit I have ever heard, you guys obviously don't know shit about her.
That's the dumbest shit I have ever heard, you guys obviously don't know shit about her.
9:43PM on 10/25/2013
I agree. You can tell from pictures of them together and seeing them together at events via entertainment programs that she's all about herself and more into attracting every man in the room. It's still sad, there's a child involved.
I agree. You can tell from pictures of them together and seeing them together at events via entertainment programs that she's all about herself and more into attracting every man in the room. It's still sad, there's a child involved.
8:23PM on 10/25/2013
Hell yeah! I say Bloom is better off without her!!!
Hell yeah! I say Bloom is better off without her!!!
10:16PM on 10/25/2013
Okay, so I've jokingly cursed out Orlando Bloom lots of times, but now that they're actually calling it quits, I'm inclined to agree with Letsgotothemall. I certainly hope the child does not suffer for it.
Okay, so I've jokingly cursed out Orlando Bloom lots of times, but now that they're actually calling it quits, I'm inclined to agree with Letsgotothemall. I certainly hope the child does not suffer for it.
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3:46PM on 10/28/2013
Well put!
Well put!
12:29PM on 10/26/2013
Miranda will do just fine without him, he has pretty much fallen into obscurity over these years, meanwhile Miranda has built herself an empire, and her career has never been better. She is also young and stunningly beautiful, she can find someone better than him. She hasn't done anything to make him look bad in the media since the news was released, meanwhile he goes on Kelly and Michael and all he can talk about is how much he likes kissing his Romeo and Juliet costar.
Miranda will do just fine without him, he has pretty much fallen into obscurity over these years, meanwhile Miranda has built herself an empire, and her career has never been better. She is also young and stunningly beautiful, she can find someone better than him. She hasn't done anything to make him look bad in the media since the news was released, meanwhile he goes on Kelly and Michael and all he can talk about is how much he likes kissing his Romeo and Juliet costar.
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8:09AM on 10/27/2013
Penelope Cruz
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Penelope Cruz
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