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Has Johnny Depp moved on to bigger, better things?

Aug. 8, 2012by: Salacious Crumb

And the most misleading headline of the week goes to (drum roll) yours truly! What you see here is the usually redheaded Jordan Carver chatting it up with the worst Johnny Depp impersonator I've ever seen on the set of WHO SHOT JOHNNY? (a surefire instant classic). Well, maybe he's more like the 38th worst if you include all the Captain Jacks, Mad Hatters and Edward Scissorhandses hanging around Los Angeles. The point is it's not really Johnny Depp flirting with this busty blonde bombshell. Amber Heard can sleep safe and sound. You can take a wild guess what kind of movie this is going to be (the kind that relies on a big pair of breasts to make sales) but if they must objectify anyone's majestic mammaries, at least they're Jordan Carver's. She's already pretty used to that kind of thing.

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7:20PM on 08/09/2012
Not only is this guy not Johnny Depp, Jordan Carver is NOT a pornstar!!! Trust me, I just scoured the internet and found her just modeling bikinis, not even any softcore shenanigans to be had. So you're wrong on both accounts Salacious Crumb! Also, this isn't red because "I dislike this girl", it's red because it's wholly inaccurate.
Not only is this guy not Johnny Depp, Jordan Carver is NOT a pornstar!!! Trust me, I just scoured the internet and found her just modeling bikinis, not even any softcore shenanigans to be had. So you're wrong on both accounts Salacious Crumb! Also, this isn't red because "I dislike this girl", it's red because it's wholly inaccurate.
Your Reply:



10:24PM on 08/09/2012
I didn't say she was a porn star, but I appreciate your enthusiasm.
I didn't say she was a porn star, but I appreciate your enthusiasm.
1:14PM on 08/08/2012
Tits that gigantic are disgusting.
Tits that gigantic are disgusting.
Your Reply:



1:36PM on 08/08/2012
that's as true as god creating humans from dust.
that's as true as god creating humans from dust.
3:06AM on 08/09/2012
So how did the universe get here and how did the molecule that supposedly stated evolution get here? And how did the space that that the molecule was resting on get here?
So how did the universe get here and how did the molecule that supposedly stated evolution get here? And how did the space that that the molecule was resting on get here?

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