Poor Anne Hathaway, she has the worst taste in men, first she dates Rafaello Follieri who got sentenced to four years in prison due to fraud charges (his name should have given Hathaway a hint, it just screams "scam artist"). After trying to forget that whole ordeal she ends up with some bit actor looser named Adam Shulman who unfortunately was caught stealing mural art from a building in Manhattan's Meatpacking district.
At least that's what the people who give us the news tell us. Maybe Shulman is a true art thief and she should be flattered, the guy saw HER as a work of art, but if you ask me, it all seems to be a coverup of something bigger, a masterplan for world domination orchestrated by Anne "Deviant Princess" Hathaway herself. The painting in question was created by non other than Mr. Brainwash, the only person in this continent who could stop Hathaway, that's why she's probably recruiting the likes of Rafaello "Il Ponzi" Follieri and Adam "The Silhouette" Shulman but so far her plans have been foiled. I'm on to you Hathaway, who's your next boyfriend going to be, a hacker, a demolitions expert, Jason Statham?