My mom is a teacher. The long running joke amongst her and her teacher friends was the old gag, "If you can, do. If you can't, teach. If you can't teach, administrate." And so on. I'm applying that logic to this week's Hot or Not selection mainly because it's a case of "Well, she can sing. Let's see if she can act." Maybe the people behind BURLESQUE weren't even thinking that. Maybe it was just a gag to get her to sing on camera and meld it into something other than an animated fish. But her hotness can definitely come into question.
I grew up in an area where the earliest incarnation of Christina Aguilera was the one that all the guys in my neighborhood wanted to f*ck; a girl who clearly wasn't holding out but at the same time looked clean enough to be considered a respectable bragging right. When selling her image, this is what the music industry decided to push. Aguilera sang about how rubbing her the right way would turn her into your wish granter. She had a big voice in that petite body, the one with the promises of a magical happy ending.
In later years we got the more serious Christina. That is, I'm choosing to overlook the skanky foray, that period of time when she wanted to distance herself from any of the vague remnants of her Disney past, renaming herself Xtina (although I still think that's fairly clever) and piercing any body part that wasn't nailed down. She had the multi-colored hair, the low-slung pants and the feud with Eminem. Still, it's about the time that she dyed her hair darker, gained some meat to her Latina frame and sang with a vicious undertone that got me to stop feeling guilty that I knew all that lyrics to "What a Girl Wants."
She gets married to the ugly guy, has his kid, finds a normal life, ditches it just long enough to get into hot water for partying on the married date nights, gains and loses weight, returns to vamping it up in a more classic style and then starts over from scratch by doing a movie and announcing a divorce. As the rumours grind away over her purported bisexuality during the whispered about open marriage, it seems that the Dirrrty girl might not have taken time shaving her head and swinging umbrellas at cars, but she clearly hasn't stopped trying to get everyone's attention the hard-on way. Myself, well... I like it.
What do you think of Christina Aguilera?