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Hot or Not: Jessica Alba

Jan. 11, 2011by: Cherry Liquor

With LITTLE FOCKERS still cleaning up (as much as it can in these dismal box office returns times), it made me wonder if we're more comfortable handing over our love and affection (and dollars) for something familiar. Even if it means overlooking that it potentially sucks balls. Such is the question when it comes to this week's hottie as well.

Jessica Alba

In the beginning, I didn't pay much mind to Jessica Alba. Not when she was the slightly darker valley girl in movies like NEVER BEEN KISSED or IDLE HANDS. Not even when James Cameron turned her from a nothing into "Who's that chick?" with his "Dark Angel" series. I grew up in a town with plenty of chicks who looked a lot like Alba. Hispanic girls who practiced hard at getting just the right amount of white-girl into their hair or make-up. As great as everyone else around the world was beginning to think she was, I wasn't all that particularly impressed.

Then there came some scent on the breeze. Something which changed my mind. I could say that it was her in a bikini next to Paul Walker in INTO THE BLUE, but that might have been just because she was in my line of view of Walker (and Caan, for that matter, always have liked that dude). It might have been SIN CITY but I think I would have preferred to see her stripper... I don't know... get naked. One of my friends pointed out to me that Alba never looked more Caucasian than when she was making movies in this time frame, but that thought makes me feel racist, so I'll dismiss it and say that she was having a good run.

Then came the Cash. Getting married and having a kid doesn't mean that a chick is automatically less attractive. In many cases it can add to their looks in that glowing MILF way. But with Alba, I don't see that. I see a woman who has rarely smiled in the last few years. I see someone who is tired and barely concealing that she has little desire to fulfill the requirements that come with acting outside of cashing the paycheck. Whatever was hot about her for me now looks (and sounds) annoyed and annoying. I look at Alba now and long to see another Katherine Heigl movie.

But what do all the rest of you think about Jessica Alba?

Source: IMDB

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-1
3:10PM on 01/18/2011
She's very overrated but she's still goodlooking.
She's very overrated but she's still goodlooking.
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1:04AM on 01/12/2011
Attractive but not Hot.
Attractive but not Hot.
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10:52PM on 01/11/2011
Are Going to Have This Discussion!?!?! She Is Hella Hot
Are Going to Have This Discussion!?!?! She Is Hella Hot
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7:58PM on 01/11/2011

Not Hot: Attractive

She is by no means an ugly woman, but there's something not quite hot about her. Maybe it's a lack of a dark side...I dunno. but no, not hot. and a dull actress.
She is by no means an ugly woman, but there's something not quite hot about her. Maybe it's a lack of a dark side...I dunno. but no, not hot. and a dull actress.
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7:55PM on 01/11/2011

Hot physically...

But dull as hell. I moved on from her when she got all preggers.
But dull as hell. I moved on from her when she got all preggers.
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6:52PM on 01/11/2011

HOTTT

THIS IS ACTUALLY A QUESTION? Jessica Alba is ridiculously hot.
THIS IS ACTUALLY A QUESTION? Jessica Alba is ridiculously hot.
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6:30PM on 01/11/2011
Hot.
Hot.
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-2
5:37PM on 01/11/2011
She's a terrible actress and seems to have a terrible personality. But looks wise, she's definitely hot.
She's a terrible actress and seems to have a terrible personality. But looks wise, she's definitely hot.
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5:18PM on 01/11/2011

NOT HOT!

She's like a plastic version of a hot chick. She's got the personality of a wet dishrag, and that sucks all the hotness out of her.
She's like a plastic version of a hot chick. She's got the personality of a wet dishrag, and that sucks all the hotness out of her.
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+0
5:10PM on 01/11/2011

Jessica Alba

Could be classic for a long time... super hot. She got better in Sin City!
Could be classic for a long time... super hot. She got better in Sin City!
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1:50PM on 01/11/2011

Still hittable

As a former die hard Alba fan I can say that while she may not be Idle Hands, Dark Angel hot, even Flipper hot (if anyone remembers); she still has that Machete hotness. I'd still hit it but she isn't what she used to be. That's what happens when you settle for cash (no pun intended). NEEEEXT!
As a former die hard Alba fan I can say that while she may not be Idle Hands, Dark Angel hot, even Flipper hot (if anyone remembers); she still has that Machete hotness. I'd still hit it but she isn't what she used to be. That's what happens when you settle for cash (no pun intended). NEEEEXT!
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1:42PM on 01/11/2011
Her dialogue/lines in most scenes from "Machete" were an embarrassment to her,even as an average,run of the mill actress
Her dialogue/lines in most scenes from "Machete" were an embarrassment to her,even as an average,run of the mill actress
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1:00PM on 01/11/2011
Pretty but she should go into modelling. Her acting is painful to watch.
Pretty but she should go into modelling. Her acting is painful to watch.
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12:32PM on 01/11/2011
I'm not going to claim that she's not physically attractive, but her talent is non-existent and her public persona is icy and shallow.

Flaccid dog for her.
I'm not going to claim that she's not physically attractive, but her talent is non-existent and her public persona is icy and shallow.

Flaccid dog for her.
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12:31PM on 01/11/2011
I think she has always been hot ever since I saw her in Idle Hands. She's said some dumb stuff, but so do alot of people.

I watched Machete again last night and she's still got it. Also, Idle Hands is such an underrated movie.
I think she has always been hot ever since I saw her in Idle Hands. She's said some dumb stuff, but so do alot of people.

I watched Machete again last night and she's still got it. Also, Idle Hands is such an underrated movie.
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11:59AM on 01/11/2011

not

She looks like a complete bitch, plus she has no talent. Vain, yes. Hot, no.
She looks like a complete bitch, plus she has no talent. Vain, yes. Hot, no.
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10:46AM on 01/11/2011

Hot!

Clearly anyone who claims she's not hot is a homosexual. Shame she's acted such a silly cow recently. Could have been perfect!
Clearly anyone who claims she's not hot is a homosexual. Shame she's acted such a silly cow recently. Could have been perfect!
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+8
10:39AM on 01/11/2011

Hot

Still smoking but I'll agree with Cherry with the sour vibe she tends to give off is definitely a turn off. With her limited acting ability, mediocre film roles & age eventually creeping up her career could be cut short with all the young hotties pumped out by Hollywood every year who can easily replace her. Besides that, I'd still pay to see Alba over Heigl anyday.
Still smoking but I'll agree with Cherry with the sour vibe she tends to give off is definitely a turn off. With her limited acting ability, mediocre film roles & age eventually creeping up her career could be cut short with all the young hotties pumped out by Hollywood every year who can easily replace her. Besides that, I'd still pay to see Alba over Heigl anyday.
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10:33AM on 01/11/2011

NOT

She should be hot, but everything just doesn't add up.
She should be hot, but everything just doesn't add up.
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+6
10:19AM on 01/11/2011

HOT

Most absurd Hot or Not, ever. Even though she's a little too skinny these days (I prefer the curvier Idle Hands Jessica), she's clearly still one of the most gorgeous women in existence.
Most absurd Hot or Not, ever. Even though she's a little too skinny these days (I prefer the curvier Idle Hands Jessica), she's clearly still one of the most gorgeous women in existence.
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10:17AM on 01/11/2011

HIGHLY OVERRATED

She's overrated, not that hot, can't act for shit and seems like a complete bitch...no thanks. She's not unattractive obviously but she is way, WAY overrated.
She's overrated, not that hot, can't act for shit and seems like a complete bitch...no thanks. She's not unattractive obviously but she is way, WAY overrated.
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-4
10:00AM on 01/11/2011
She's far from ugly but I can't say that she's hot.
She's far from ugly but I can't say that she's hot.
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9:58AM on 01/11/2011

Seriously?

Guys who say she's NOT hot...

You know how I know you have the ghey?

Jessica Alba is insanely hot.
Guys who say she's NOT hot...

You know how I know you have the ghey?

Jessica Alba is insanely hot.
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+6
8:48AM on 01/11/2011
She's hot looks wise... but everything else, eh. I used to like her when she first started, but now not so much.
She's hot looks wise... but everything else, eh. I used to like her when she first started, but now not so much.
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8:13AM on 01/11/2011
Hot. Definitely.
Hot. Definitely.
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-5
8:12AM on 01/11/2011

Was Hot....

Jessica Alba is pretty, but she WAS hot about 5 years ago. A lot of factors go into hotness (personality, talent, charisma, charm, etc.) and Alba lacks the majority of those qualities.
She is very vapid and shallow with very little dimension to her beauty beyond good looks.
Her body....while still good is less of what it was since the pregnancy which mis-shaped what was a nearly perfect physique.
And I agree with Cherry...she is lacking that life...that spark needed to make her truly
Jessica Alba is pretty, but she WAS hot about 5 years ago. A lot of factors go into hotness (personality, talent, charisma, charm, etc.) and Alba lacks the majority of those qualities.
She is very vapid and shallow with very little dimension to her beauty beyond good looks.
Her body....while still good is less of what it was since the pregnancy which mis-shaped what was a nearly perfect physique.
And I agree with Cherry...she is lacking that life...that spark needed to make her truly hot.
It seems that perhaps she got caught....knocked up....and is now strapped with an exhausting kid that is sucking the life out of her after. And that never helps.

Attractive? Yes. Hot? No longer.
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8:11AM on 01/11/2011
Definitely a hottie
Definitely a hottie
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-4
8:11AM on 01/11/2011

Was Hot....

Jessica Alba is pretty, but she WAS hot about 5 years ago. A lot of factors go into hotness (personality, talent, charisma, charm, etc.) and Alba lacks the majority of those qualities.
She is very vapid and shallow with very little dimension to her beauty beyond good looks.
Her body....while still good is less of what it was since the pregnancy which mis-shaped what was a nearly perfect physique.
And I agree with Cherry...she is lacking that life...that spark needed to make her truly
Jessica Alba is pretty, but she WAS hot about 5 years ago. A lot of factors go into hotness (personality, talent, charisma, charm, etc.) and Alba lacks the majority of those qualities.
She is very vapid and shallow with very little dimension to her beauty beyond good looks.
Her body....while still good is less of what it was since the pregnancy which mis-shaped what was a nearly perfect physique.
And I agree with Cherry...she is lacking that life...that spark needed to make her truly hot.
It seems that perhaps she got caught....knocked up....and is now strapped with an exhausting kid that is sucking the life out of her after. And that never helps.

Attractive? Yes. Hot? No longer.
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7:26AM on 01/11/2011

insanely hot!

we should throw feces at anyone who would dare give her a limp hotdog...
we should throw feces at anyone who would dare give her a limp hotdog...
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4:59AM on 01/11/2011
Uh. Hot. What a goofy question.
Uh. Hot. What a goofy question.
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4:37AM on 01/11/2011
Um . . . duh!
Um . . . duh!
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4:37AM on 01/11/2011
I say she's hot, but also an untalented idiot.
I say she's hot, but also an untalented idiot.
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+7
4:25AM on 01/11/2011
WTF!! We can discuss about her acting skills...but DUDE, did you see Sin City!!?? She's hot as hell! Even when she's not!
WTF!! We can discuss about her acting skills...but DUDE, did you see Sin City!!?? She's hot as hell! Even when she's not!
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4:23AM on 01/11/2011
Need I say anything? Duh...
Need I say anything? Duh...
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3:43AM on 01/11/2011

Hell Yeah HOT!

I can't believe we are doing this. But I think this is a test to weed out all the idiots out there that put no! Which I assure you will come soon! So You'll get your wish!
I can't believe we are doing this. But I think this is a test to weed out all the idiots out there that put no! Which I assure you will come soon! So You'll get your wish!
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3:13AM on 01/11/2011
?? this a joke??
?? this a joke??
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2:49AM on 01/11/2011

Are you f***ing kidding me...

Of course Jessica Alba is HOT!!! Always has and always will be a HOTTIE!!!
Of course Jessica Alba is HOT!!! Always has and always will be a HOTTIE!!!
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