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Hot or Not: Khloe Kardashian

10.16.2012by: Cherry Liquor

At the time that I am writing this column, I am uncertain if the woman in it is going to be featured on the first live episode of the American version of "The X Factor," but to be on the safe side (or perhaps not, considering how most people feel free to run their mouths about her on a regular basis) I'm going to take that rumour and use it as a reason to feature one of perhaps the only unsung hotties I think is out there right now. I will be lambasted for this column, I'm sure, but here's the gig - you either complain I don't feature potential "nots" and post only obvious "hots." I hope this one brings out everyone's true colors.

Khloe Kardashian

I do my damnedest to stay away from the "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" nonsense as well as all of the spin-offs that have occurred as the family who is best known for doing nothing other than being in front of the camera doing nothing have gotten more attention. See, I'm doing what you should do if you want something to go away. I'm not funding it. I might be posting about Khloe Kardashian on the site today, but I never watch her on TV, so I'm nixing trying to base any of my opinion on her hotness around her onscreen personality, since I don't know what it is.

Gossip sites all over the internet have this love of completely trashing Khloe no matter what she does, where she goes. They post the worst possible pictures that are taken of her. They refer to her as Kong Kardashian, etc. They point out how she's so much bigger than her sisters. F*CK THAT SHIT. Khloe Kardashian is not ugly. Khloe Kardashian is not a beast. She's tall, she's bigger boned. She at least looks somewhat unique. She smiles frequently and dresses herself well. She takes the criticism, from what little I can discern, with skin thicker than an elephant. I think she's beautiful, personally. I like her face, love her eyes, think her smile sparkles. I think it's awesome that she's the one in the family who's been married the longest. Or at all.

Now here's the clincher for me: I freaking LOVE this woman's body. She is tall, yes. But she is well proportioned. She has tone to her and dimples and curves where other, completely normal and completely attractive women that you'd all chase after have them as well. She looks REAL. Her ass isn't too large, her breasts are artificially augmented. Out of all of the Kardashian sisters, while I've always said that if I had a penis, I'd want to put it in Kim just for the sake of it, I say proudly and without shame that Khloe is the sister I would want to put it in on a regular basis. She's hot. Blazing, beautifully hot. Those who can't see that and yet claim that I'm the one with issues towards women... well, spank your own asses, I'm not doing that for you jerks.

What do you think of Khloe Kardashian?

Source: IMDB
Tags: hot or not

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+8
9:34AM on 10/16/2012
Just go the hell away and take your family with you.
Just go the hell away and take your family with you.
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1:01PM on 10/16/2012
nope
nope
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12:39PM on 10/16/2012

Nope

I don't find her the least bit attractive.
I don't find her the least bit attractive.
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11:44AM on 10/16/2012

Donkey

she looks like a donkey
she looks like a donkey
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10:30AM on 10/16/2012

EDIT

I'm changing my opinion, I focused on the naked pic where she looks half good butlooking at the others. No, she's not hot.
I'm changing my opinion, I focused on the naked pic where she looks half good butlooking at the others. No, she's not hot.
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12:08PM on 10/16/2012
yeah for a rancor
yeah for a rancor
+5
5:59PM on 10/16/2012
No bueno. Her ass is great, but the rest looks like an experiment with a trash compactor.
No bueno. Her ass is great, but the rest looks like an experiment with a trash compactor.
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11:37AM on 10/16/2012
I didnít know we were featuring dudes on here now.
I didnít know we were featuring dudes on here now.
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6:48PM on 10/16/2012

That kind of ugly merits a call to Vatican City.

The power of Christ compels you.
The power of Christ compels you.
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3:41PM on 10/16/2012
Would I hit if it were "last call" and my options were wearing thin? Sure. But is she "Hot"? Definitely not. I'm sure if I settled for Khloe and then met her [much hotter] sisters I'd feel like God was playing a cruel, sick joke on me.
Would I hit if it were "last call" and my options were wearing thin? Sure. But is she "Hot"? Definitely not. I'm sure if I settled for Khloe and then met her [much hotter] sisters I'd feel like God was playing a cruel, sick joke on me.
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11:25AM on 10/16/2012

Hell no.

That thing is a monstrosity
That thing is a monstrosity
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10:39AM on 10/16/2012

I do appreciate MOTB

(Meat on the Bone) but she has a face like a well slapped arse. She looks OK in the picture at the bottom but not enough to cheat on my wife for.
(Meat on the Bone) but she has a face like a well slapped arse. She looks OK in the picture at the bottom but not enough to cheat on my wife for.
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4:46AM on 10/17/2012

I was going to say NOT

but that was before I saw her naked.
but that was before I saw her naked.
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4:41AM on 10/17/2012
Nothing wrong with larger than average women (heaven forbid) and her curves are quite nice.
Nothing wrong with larger than average women (heaven forbid) and her curves are quite nice.
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3:51PM on 10/16/2012
lol
lol
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+2
12:07PM on 10/16/2012

ugh

NOT HOT for a girl, but for being the bride of Frankenstein not too, ah never mind she is ugly as sin
NOT HOT for a girl, but for being the bride of Frankenstein not too, ah never mind she is ugly as sin
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2:10AM on 10/17/2012
Absolutely disgusting & so NOT HOT! At least Kim & Kourtney are the hotter ones, but this chick looks like a man for real!
Absolutely disgusting & so NOT HOT! At least Kim & Kourtney are the hotter ones, but this chick looks like a man for real!
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8:32PM on 10/16/2012

Nope

I'm convinced she's a man
I'm convinced she's a man
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+1
5:05PM on 10/16/2012

NUH UH

Hell no. Have you seen photos of her without makeup....she is revolting.

F the entire family.
Hell no. Have you seen photos of her without makeup....she is revolting.

F the entire family.
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4:50PM on 10/16/2012

Hot, just not by Hollywood standards

If she wasn't famous, plenty of guys would try to bang her, but because she's seen from a afar and compared to her sister Kim, people say she's ugly or unattractive when, relatively speaking, that's categorically untrue.
If she wasn't famous, plenty of guys would try to bang her, but because she's seen from a afar and compared to her sister Kim, people say she's ugly or unattractive when, relatively speaking, that's categorically untrue.
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4:19PM on 10/16/2012
Personally, I think O.J. is her Daddy (It ain't the same daddys her sisters share), I don't think she is horrid looking at all, it is just her family are media s#!t bugs.
Personally, I think O.J. is her Daddy (It ain't the same daddys her sisters share), I don't think she is horrid looking at all, it is just her family are media s#!t bugs.
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3:18PM on 10/16/2012

NOT!!!!!!!

She's about as hot as an ice cube. And an ugly-ass ice cube at that!
She's about as hot as an ice cube. And an ugly-ass ice cube at that!
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6:07PM on 10/17/2012

It's all about DAT ASS!

She's cute. Far from ugly and she has even more curves than Kim. I'd totally hit it.
She's cute. Far from ugly and she has even more curves than Kim. I'd totally hit it.
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5:54PM on 10/17/2012

Putting all bias against the Kardashians aside....

I'd hit that.
I'd hit that.
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8:34PM on 10/16/2012

Nope

I'm convinced she's a man
I'm convinced she's a man
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8:06PM on 10/16/2012

no

.
.
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+0
4:42PM on 10/16/2012
Not hot!! But i'd still bang her.
Not hot!! But i'd still bang her.
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+0
12:08PM on 10/16/2012

ugh

NOT HOT for a girl, but for being the bride of Frankenstein not too, ah never mind she is ugly as sin
NOT HOT for a girl, but for being the bride of Frankenstein not too, ah never mind she is ugly as sin
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+0
9:06AM on 10/16/2012
I think part of the problem the media has with Khloe is she's on that show next to her sisters who are obviously way hotter than she is (especially Kim), so they treat her like the ugly one (and thus the less important one) by comparison. She also doesn't look a thing like her sisters, I don't know if OJ Simpson is her real dad or not but it's fairly obvious Robert Kardashian isn't.
I think part of the problem the media has with Khloe is she's on that show next to her sisters who are obviously way hotter than she is (especially Kim), so they treat her like the ugly one (and thus the less important one) by comparison. She also doesn't look a thing like her sisters, I don't know if OJ Simpson is her real dad or not but it's fairly obvious Robert Kardashian isn't.
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12:49AM on 10/17/2012
yuck
yuck
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5:19PM on 10/16/2012

no

but id bang her asscheeks off
but id bang her asscheeks off
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9:01AM on 10/17/2012

sorry, kim got the looks....

when khloe is in a pic with her sisters, she looks like a full-sized Muppet monster. perhaps Sweetums is a kardashian.

and sure, that last pic isnt too bad, however, this being the internet, presenting infinite naked women, no need to get too excited about one asscrack and sideboob.
when khloe is in a pic with her sisters, she looks like a full-sized Muppet monster. perhaps Sweetums is a kardashian.

and sure, that last pic isnt too bad, however, this being the internet, presenting infinite naked women, no need to get too excited about one asscrack and sideboob.
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3:57PM on 10/16/2012
Hell Yeah!
Hell Yeah!
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4:18PM on 10/17/2012
The kind of girl i'd hit after 12 beers and a couple of shots. She is just so average.
The kind of girl i'd hit after 12 beers and a couple of shots. She is just so average.
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8:11AM on 10/16/2012
I agree with you about her proportions. I always feel bad when people call her sasquatch just because she dwarfs the other 2 Kardashians.
I agree with you about her proportions. I always feel bad when people call her sasquatch just because she dwarfs the other 2 Kardashians.
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6:20AM on 10/16/2012

Totally agree!

I have no idea what those Kardashian girls actually are or do, I have never seen the reality show, but they seem to pop up everywhere, so I am somewhat familiar with them. With that being said, this one has always been my favorite. She is not exactly fat, she is what I like to call full bodied and I much prefer girls that look like her to ones that look like walking skeletons. I like girls with some meat on their bones. So, I pretty much completely agree with author. I vote HOT.
I have no idea what those Kardashian girls actually are or do, I have never seen the reality show, but they seem to pop up everywhere, so I am somewhat familiar with them. With that being said, this one has always been my favorite. She is not exactly fat, she is what I like to call full bodied and I much prefer girls that look like her to ones that look like walking skeletons. I like girls with some meat on their bones. So, I pretty much completely agree with author. I vote HOT.
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12:25PM on 10/16/2012

Absolutely hot.

I can see why people take points off for her being who she is, and compared to her sisters she's very tall and slightly bigger. But she's still hot. In my opinion she's the second hottest of the sisters after Kim.
I can see why people take points off for her being who she is, and compared to her sisters she's very tall and slightly bigger. But she's still hot. In my opinion she's the second hottest of the sisters after Kim.
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10:02AM on 10/16/2012

annoying family but...

agree with the article, i thinks shes hot and packs a rump roast. i didnt know she was the black sheep but then again i try not to pay attention to that reality tv hubbub.
agree with the article, i thinks shes hot and packs a rump roast. i didnt know she was the black sheep but then again i try not to pay attention to that reality tv hubbub.
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