Sometimes there's that girl, that one with the confidence and the subtle cockiness who doesn't try very hard at all and yet inexplicably manages to push all your buttons without trying very hard. Then you get a chance to get that girl alone and you realize that she's not like the girls who make themselves up to look all pretty for the sake of maintaining appearances. She's the girl who actually does all that nasty, dirty stuff that you secretly want a girl to do but never have the balls to ask her to do because you think that she's going to deem you a weirdo. And this chick does it because it gets HER off and your satisfaction is an afterthought. And in that paragraph, I've basically summed up how I feel about this week's Hot or Not selection.
But I'll go on anyway, because it's what I do. Maria Bello is 43 years old. The first thing that I ever saw her in was as a dressed down doctor on "ER," a show that they either couldn't write her off fast enough or she couldn't break the rules quick enough to piss off the right people. Something inside of me swears that she was pulling Heigl shit long before we deemed it Heigl shit and she was doing it with more grace. It took her a slow start with roles in PERMANENT MIDNIGHT (my mouth still waters at how she could make a recovering junkie so hot) and PAYBACK before supposedly landing her hottie break-through role as the bar owner in COYOTE UGLY. That's right. The woman made us her bitches at the age of 33.
The thing that Bello continued to be most well-known for was her absolute lack of inhibitions, dropping trou any chance that she got for a role. She never had the tits or the ass or even the "properly maintained bush" to get her to the sex symbol arena that she's triumphed. No, she did it by being that chick who was everything that you knew you wanted in a realistic wife or girlfriend. She was all of the kink of a hooker, the stability of a rocking mother (Bello quietly had a son, Jackson Blue, with writer/producer Dan McDermott) and the woman that you knew would take care of the homestead and kick ass when you couldn't manage to be around.
Appearing this summer in GROWN UPS
with a bunch of heavy male hitters and having the sense of humour to casually mock Salma Hayek after she freaked out over a snake during an interview with one of those entertainment half hour shows, it's Bello who makes the preview seem even the most minuscule amount of funny to me, since I can see her being the mom who breast-feeds her kid until he's old enough to walk up and ask for it. (FYI, breast-feeding moms, it's a beautiful, wonderful thing you're doing for your BABIES... but after a certain point, you just want an excuse to get someone to suck on your tits in public without being called a slut... if they can ask for it, you gotta close up shop.) With three more projects coming up shortly, including BEAUTIFUL BOY, which co-stars the lovely Moon Bloodgood and later with the TWILIGHT wolf-boy in ABDUCTION, something that doesn't have to do with that series, Bello seems poised to be our ageless hot babe of the century... and beyond.
Your thoughts on Maria Bello?