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Hot or Not: Maria Bello

Jun. 22, 2010by: Cherry Liquor

Sometimes there's that girl, that one with the confidence and the subtle cockiness who doesn't try very hard at all and yet inexplicably manages to push all your buttons without trying very hard. Then you get a chance to get that girl alone and you realize that she's not like the girls who make themselves up to look all pretty for the sake of maintaining appearances. She's the girl who actually does all that nasty, dirty stuff that you secretly want a girl to do but never have the balls to ask her to do because you think that she's going to deem you a weirdo. And this chick does it because it gets HER off and your satisfaction is an afterthought. And in that paragraph, I've basically summed up how I feel about this week's Hot or Not selection.

Maria Bello

But I'll go on anyway, because it's what I do. Maria Bello is 43 years old. The first thing that I ever saw her in was as a dressed down doctor on "ER," a show that they either couldn't write her off fast enough or she couldn't break the rules quick enough to piss off the right people. Something inside of me swears that she was pulling Heigl shit long before we deemed it Heigl shit and she was doing it with more grace. It took her a slow start with roles in PERMANENT MIDNIGHT (my mouth still waters at how she could make a recovering junkie so hot) and PAYBACK before supposedly landing her hottie break-through role as the bar owner in COYOTE UGLY. That's right. The woman made us her bitches at the age of 33.

The thing that Bello continued to be most well-known for was her absolute lack of inhibitions, dropping trou any chance that she got for a role. She never had the tits or the ass or even the "properly maintained bush" to get her to the sex symbol arena that she's triumphed. No, she did it by being that chick who was everything that you knew you wanted in a realistic wife or girlfriend. She was all of the kink of a hooker, the stability of a rocking mother (Bello quietly had a son, Jackson Blue, with writer/producer Dan McDermott) and the woman that you knew would take care of the homestead and kick ass when you couldn't manage to be around.

Appearing this summer in GROWN UPS with a bunch of heavy male hitters and having the sense of humour to casually mock Salma Hayek after she freaked out over a snake during an interview with one of those entertainment half hour shows, it's Bello who makes the preview seem even the most minuscule amount of funny to me, since I can see her being the mom who breast-feeds her kid until he's old enough to walk up and ask for it. (FYI, breast-feeding moms, it's a beautiful, wonderful thing you're doing for your BABIES... but after a certain point, you just want an excuse to get someone to suck on your tits in public without being called a slut... if they can ask for it, you gotta close up shop.) With three more projects coming up shortly, including BEAUTIFUL BOY, which co-stars the lovely Moon Bloodgood and later with the TWILIGHT wolf-boy in ABDUCTION, something that doesn't have to do with that series, Bello seems poised to be our ageless hot babe of the century... and beyond.

Your thoughts on Maria Bello?

Source: IMDB

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8:34AM on 06/22/2010

MILF Goddess!

I'd give anything....ANYTHING!
I'd give anything....ANYTHING!
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7:44AM on 06/22/2010

hot, for sure

just wish she would trim those hedges before doing full frontal. sometimes it looks like she has will ferrell in a leg-lock.
just wish she would trim those hedges before doing full frontal. sometimes it looks like she has will ferrell in a leg-lock.
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2:27AM on 06/23/2010

hot

hot
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5:53AM on 06/22/2010

HOTTT

Three words:

History of violence.

Case closed.
Three words:

History of violence.

Case closed.
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+2
8:07PM on 06/24/2010
She is the blue jean girl all grown up. Gorgeous.
She is the blue jean girl all grown up. Gorgeous.
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3:35PM on 06/24/2010

HOT

Totally hot. Coulda picked some better pictures of her though... Just watch some movies she is in, and you will change your mind. In fact, just watch Cronenberg's "A History of Violence" and let me know if you still think she isn't hot.
Totally hot. Coulda picked some better pictures of her though... Just watch some movies she is in, and you will change your mind. In fact, just watch Cronenberg's "A History of Violence" and let me know if you still think she isn't hot.
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2:54AM on 06/23/2010
Very hot!
Very hot!
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+2
11:38PM on 06/22/2010

Way Hot

I totally agree, Cherry. It's the realism and attainability that gets to me. She has always sought beautiful and realistic sex scenes and is a warrior advocate against said scenes earning an unfair NC-17, usually a box office death blow for a film. My favorite, A History of Violence and the cheerleader outfit.
I totally agree, Cherry. It's the realism and attainability that gets to me. She has always sought beautiful and realistic sex scenes and is a warrior advocate against said scenes earning an unfair NC-17, usually a box office death blow for a film. My favorite, A History of Violence and the cheerleader outfit.
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10:51AM on 06/22/2010

Hot

Definitely a looker.
Definitely a looker.
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+2
10:43AM on 06/22/2010

Hot

Yep, she's a hottie.
Yep, she's a hottie.
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9:27AM on 06/22/2010
Hot for sure.
Hot for sure.
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+1
12:23PM on 06/22/2010
Very hot!
Very hot!
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+0
1:41AM on 03/19/2011

The Best

Rockin' actress, super sexy woman. I picture her n a deck with bare feet, faded jeans and no top, sipping a martini as the sun sets...
Rockin' actress, super sexy woman. I picture her n a deck with bare feet, faded jeans and no top, sipping a martini as the sun sets...
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3:00AM on 08/07/2010
YES!
YES!
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2:32PM on 06/22/2010
Why is this a question?!?! She's smoking hot!
Why is this a question?!?! She's smoking hot!
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2:09PM on 06/22/2010
Oh so hot!!!
Oh so hot!!!
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5:45AM on 06/22/2010
You have to say, this woman just SMOULDERS! V. Hot!
You have to say, this woman just SMOULDERS! V. Hot!
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5:36AM on 06/22/2010
She is FINE FINE FINE! From Coyote Ugly to History of Violence
She is FINE FINE FINE! From Coyote Ugly to History of Violence
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5:26AM on 06/22/2010

hot

getting hotter as she gets older me thinks.
getting hotter as she gets older me thinks.
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4:28AM on 06/22/2010
She is definitely hot. This shouldn't even be a question.
She is definitely hot. This shouldn't even be a question.
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11:37AM on 06/23/2010

NOPE

doesnt do it for me
doesnt do it for me
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-3
10:46PM on 06/22/2010

Not

Pretty, but can't go with hot on this one
Pretty, but can't go with hot on this one
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-3
5:29PM on 06/22/2010
Most definitely hot
Most definitely hot
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-4
8:50AM on 06/22/2010
never done it for me
never done it for me
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12:44PM on 06/22/2010
I wasn't going to vote on this one because I'm not really sure if I find her hot. And if it takes that much thought then I have to say Not.
I wasn't going to vote on this one because I'm not really sure if I find her hot. And if it takes that much thought then I have to say Not.
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11:08AM on 06/22/2010

Decent Face

Body is kinda a wreck though. NOT HOT.
Body is kinda a wreck though. NOT HOT.
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2:33PM on 06/22/2010
Her body is a WRECK? The only "problem" is that her boobs are small. That's quite far from a "wreck."
Her body is a WRECK? The only "problem" is that her boobs are small. That's quite far from a "wreck."
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