There will never be a Hot or Not column dedicated to a fat f*ck like Billy Gardell. As I choose to post this week's lady, I realize that there will be some of you who think it's cruel that I'm subjecting her to a column based on looks. But as I've learned over the last few years of writing said column, I've been surprised at how many of you have quoted that a chick needs to have a personality, a sense of humour to get your motor revved. So let's put that lip service to the test, shall we? I'm not shying away from doing this feature because I'm supposed to realize that it's mean. I'm doing it because her movie PITCH PERFECT is out and I'd like to put to rest that other common gripe of how I only feature women that are "obviously" hot.
I understand that the first time I was introduced to Rebel Wilson, she was meant to look like a disgusting, frumpy slob with an overly high (and wow, for a chick flick, how cruel was the undertone that she didn't have the gall to consider herself hotter than everyone else quietly determined she was?) opinion of herself and her own importance. I found the role annoying and unnecessary in the film as a whole. But man oh man did the rest of Hollywood catch on to having a new fattie to exploit in movies for simplistic jokes that sell to a simplistic minded society.
I don't find her pretty for a big girl. That's the common thing said when there's this waffling moment over whether a guy would consider banging a fatty. Being honest here, treating her the same way I would for any other woman of any other size that has been featured in this column, She's not attractive. Even if she were thin, I don't believe that I'd find her to be my type. Hell, she'd probably have that Anna Faris vibe, which... let's face it, we give Anna a lot of leeway since all the junk she's done to her face just because she can occasionally knock one out of the park.
I don't find Rebel Wilson funny. I didn't like her in BRIDESMAIDS, vaguely remember her as the plant in GHOST RIDER where she stares blankly like the typical Walmart character and describes that the dude's head was on fire, and honestly? All of the fat related jokes that the trailer for PITCH PERFECT relies on are insulting. Not to her, mind you, but the to the average movie-going audience that the movie companies have pegged for asshole fatty haters who assuage their guilt of laughing outright at a fat woman by saying it's OK if she's funny. She might very well be much funnier in the movie than what the hints have shown us, but I'd still prefer if we could stop trying to make Rebel Wilson "happen" so we can have a blonde Roseanne for the 2010's.
What do you think of Rebel Wilson?