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Hottie Report Card: Alexandra Daddario

Jan. 31, 2014by: Salacious Crumb

After all the noise that was made after Alexandra Daddario unleashed her dirty pillows on "True Detective" a couple of weeks back, many of you were probably expecting a "Report Card" on the blue-eyed beauty. Someone even asked, "What gives? Felt like enough people were talking about her this week?"... Precisely. I didn't mean to ignore your request, Jay Beezy, there was just already a lot of Daddario to go around, plus I was hesitant to jump into those waters. After my report on Kloe Kardashian, I was honestly confused and terrified by how many people defended her, so naturally, I didn't want to touch Daddario with a 6 foot pole (other than my own, of course). Now that the water has settled, I'll probably still get truckloads of shit for saying anything slightly negative about this actress... but screw it. The real reason anyone attends this class is for the pictures anyway, right? So let's get on with it!

I must admit, perhaps with a hint of shame, that I didn't see what the big deal was about Alexandra at first. I knew some people who contemplated seeing TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D just because they thought she was hot, or rather "gorgeous". I laughed then, but now I can see what the appeal. Alexandra's kind of like a fairy tale princess… A fairy tale princess who takes her clothes off.

When I mention bringing up "anything slightly negative" in the intro, this is what I meant. But it's not because she lacks an ass, it's just that we don't get to see nearly enough of it. I know, I know, "How could you say this after what happened on 'True Detective' Prof. Crumb?" Well, just like Alexandra's mugshot, I like to get to know my asses before giving them too much credit. There are far too few photos the thing, it may as well be the Loch Ness Monster. Let's hope she continues to show off her derriere equally as much as her dairy products.

Of course, let's give credit where credit is due. I'm willing to bet many of you hardly knew who Alexandra was, if at all, until they got a peek of her finest assets on "True Detective". The sudden but savored moment may have been a bit blown out of proportion on the web, but it was refreshing to see people talking about two boobs that were neither Justin Bieber or Rob Ford. The episode was appropriately titled "Seeing Things", and boy, things we did see! Woody Harrelson is one lucky man. Seriously.

I've been thinking about changing up the "fitness" category when it comes to certain hotties, but to me, it seems perfectly appropriate for Daddario. I may be bitter about the lack of over-the-shoulder poses from her, but there's no doubt she has the ability to make the boys drool from all three-hundred and sixty degrees.

I never saw TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D or any of the PERCY JACKSON flicks, not that they didn't look like outstanding achievements in cinema. I'm quite certain the only thing I've ever seen Alexandra act in is "True Detective", which is a damned ambitious, star-studded show, even if it has only been on for a few weeks. Now that I've been made aware of Daddario's, uhm, talents, I certainly hope she achieves success in this crazy biz. Let's just hope she has the backbone to turn down the script for TEXAS CHAINSAW 3DD.

Again, I couldn't say too much about Alexandra, as I'm hardly familiar with this hottie. I will mention that I had almost featured her in a "Sexy TwitPics" column a while back, and to my astonishment, she seemed to lead a very normal, wholesome lifestyle. And here I thought she just walked the streets with her shirt off all day long. Even her comments on her topless scene were very respectable. "It wasn't anything awkward in that sense. I tried not to think about it too much before shooting the more intimate scenes and just sort of did it. [Harrelson] has been there done that. He's Woody Harrelson. If there's anybody that I was going to be comfortable with, it's somebody like him."  Oh, Woody Harrelson, you soul-selling devil worshiper, you.

Extra Tidbit: How would you have graded Alexandra Daddario?

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6:19PM on 02/02/2014

My pick for Wonder Woman

And Woody harrelson is a lucky mother fucker having that rack unleashed mere inches from his face in True Detective (which is friggin awesome btw)
A- is definitely fair.
And Woody harrelson is a lucky mother fucker having that rack unleashed mere inches from his face in True Detective (which is friggin awesome btw)
A- is definitely fair.
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10:08AM on 02/04/2014
If not Wonder Woman, maybe Ms. Marvel instead if she can dye her hair a full-on blonde, not the halfway color like she had in Percy Jackson 2.
If not Wonder Woman, maybe Ms. Marvel instead if she can dye her hair a full-on blonde, not the halfway color like she had in Percy Jackson 2.
1:42PM on 01/31/2014
A- is fair
A- is fair
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1:08PM on 01/31/2014
She gets an A doubleplusgood in all the physical departments from me. Her great legs tend to get overshadowed by her great boobs. Great midriff, too. Yum.
She gets an A doubleplusgood in all the physical departments from me. Her great legs tend to get overshadowed by her great boobs. Great midriff, too. Yum.
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12:15PM on 01/31/2014
She has an AMAZING body but should be ranked much lower in career. TD is the only good thing she's done so far. Also, I think her face is super creepy, I'd give it a C.
She has an AMAZING body but should be ranked much lower in career. TD is the only good thing she's done so far. Also, I think her face is super creepy, I'd give it a C.
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10:04PM on 01/31/2014
Hell no. Face of an angel.
Hell no. Face of an angel.
+2
12:07PM on 01/31/2014
Absolute hottie!
Absolute hottie!
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11:47AM on 01/31/2014

What of hers is finer? Her perfectly shaped boobs or her mystical blue eyes?

I don't want to treat her as just some chick with big boobs. As wonderful as her big hot naturals are, I prefer the idea of getting lost in her eyes.

Hopefully she gets a meaty role in a prime ensemble. That's what would probably be best for her at this point in her career. I'm not so much thinking that producers should offer her more roles with nudity. Just more meaty parts in general. She deserves that. She should still remain open to doing more nude scenes, but she shouldn't go naked all
I don't want to treat her as just some chick with big boobs. As wonderful as her big hot naturals are, I prefer the idea of getting lost in her eyes.

Hopefully she gets a meaty role in a prime ensemble. That's what would probably be best for her at this point in her career. I'm not so much thinking that producers should offer her more roles with nudity. Just more meaty parts in general. She deserves that. She should still remain open to doing more nude scenes, but she shouldn't go naked all the time.
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11:13AM on 01/31/2014

Have loved her since....

I first saw her on the USA show White Collar. She was only in a few episodes for the first season and never really did much on the show but she's so beautiful that she captures your eyes and you can't help but only watch her.
I first saw her on the USA show White Collar. She was only in a few episodes for the first season and never really did much on the show but she's so beautiful that she captures your eyes and you can't help but only watch her.
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2:32AM on 02/01/2014
That was how I was first introduced to her as well. Never watched more than a few episodes, but she certainly lingered as one of the highlights of that show.

I also never watched Parenthood, but I actually caught a glimpse of it, just enough to see a scene or two when she guest starred.
That was how I was first introduced to her as well. Never watched more than a few episodes, but she certainly lingered as one of the highlights of that show.

I also never watched Parenthood, but I actually caught a glimpse of it, just enough to see a scene or two when she guest starred.
10:33AM on 01/31/2014
I wonder if she truly comprehended how beneficial that nude scene in True Detective would be for her career.
I wonder if she truly comprehended how beneficial that nude scene in True Detective would be for her career.
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10:31AM on 01/31/2014
A for me. Lovely eyes & breasts. Swoon.
A for me. Lovely eyes & breasts. Swoon.
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9:30AM on 01/31/2014
those eyes
those eyes
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8:25AM on 01/31/2014
Ok, NOW it makes sense. I was trying to figure out why there was so much hype about this chick. It's because she was in a kids movie and then BAM! out came the goods. Gotcha. She is an ok chick with a nice rack. But her ass isn't a B. It's a D at best. there's no plumpness. no roundness. No weight to it. It's all function. no form.
Ok, NOW it makes sense. I was trying to figure out why there was so much hype about this chick. It's because she was in a kids movie and then BAM! out came the goods. Gotcha. She is an ok chick with a nice rack. But her ass isn't a B. It's a D at best. there's no plumpness. no roundness. No weight to it. It's all function. no form.
Your Reply:



+8
8:02AM on 01/31/2014

How would you have graded Alexandra?

AAA++++
AAA++++
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+13
7:56AM on 01/31/2014
Quite surprised at the Daddario-hype on this site. All those features that seem to appeal to everyone have been apparent for years and she hasn't been hiding under a rock. Has everyone been blind for all these years?
Quite surprised at the Daddario-hype on this site. All those features that seem to appeal to everyone have been apparent for years and she hasn't been hiding under a rock. Has everyone been blind for all these years?
Your Reply:



7:51AM on 01/31/2014
This woman is absolutely gorgeous! I hope she gets some good acting gigs in the future as well.
This woman is absolutely gorgeous! I hope she gets some good acting gigs in the future as well.
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