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Hottie Report Card: Amy Adams

Dec. 27, 2013by: Salacious Crumb

Since we're at that time of year where movie release dates are all scattered and nonsensical, I think it's about time we turned our eyes to Amy Adams. Amy stars in two films which were both released in the last two weeks, AMERICAN HUSTLE and HER, both of which have received plenty of buzz, plus Golden Globe and SAG Award nominations. Yes, this has been a substancial year for Adams, and it would only be sensible to treat her with some much deserved respect. So, let's grade her like a piece of meat now, shall we?

Disney wouldn't have casted Amy as a cheerful princess if she didn't already look like she came out of some fantastical wonderland where everyone is really, really, ridiculously good-looking. She has one of those faces that will make her look bangable well into her '60's, and even better, she doesn't let it go to her head.

Surely, I'll receive some shit for this, after granting Meagan Good a "B" in this subject last week (which is juicy enough, but lacks definement). Amy's ass, on the other hand, I have a bit of a bias adoration for. Why? Well, mostly for her perky portrayal of Amelia Earhart in NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: BATTLE OF THE SMITHSONIAN, a movie that would have been unbearable without the visual of Amy in those tight aviator pants. It makes for a powerful distraction from utter nonsense.

Adams's apples may not be the size of melons, but they're certainly ripe for the picking. Her personal style and general appearance wouldn't lead you to think she's ver top-heavy, but Amy's cleavage has been known to surprise us from time to time. Aside from this mesmerizing talent, she recently shared her goods with us in the holiday issue of Vanity Fair

While it may seem like a bit much to give an "A+" to Amy in this subject, I think she damn well deserves it. For over a decade, Amy has kept her physique at its best, and it hasn't gone unnoticed by us movie-goers. This year, especially, Amy has reminded us plenty of times that her hotness is far from fading away. She looks flippin' fantastic for turning 40 next year, and I'll be along for the ride until Amy become a bonafide GILF.

Unlike several students I've graded in recent weeks, I actually get legitimately excited to watch Amy at work, and she has indeed made quite a name for herself over the years. While she started out in lesser-known, but chuckle-worthy films like DROP DEAD GORGEOUS and PSYCHO BEACH PARTY, she got her big break with a leading role in ENCHANTED. Ever since, Amy's been progressing as an actress and trying out new things, which has only grabbed more attention from critics. Amy's performances in DOUBT, THE MASTER, JULIE AND JULIA, SUNSHINE CLEANING, AMERICAN HUSTLE and a fistful of others have shown us that she can play more than a pretty princess from an animated universe.

Let alone the fact that she could have very well married a line of consecutive rock stars, and "hustled" her way to the top, Amy is simply a charming and intelligent specimen. She's also capable of actually being funny (that motivational speech she gave in TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY was one of the only truly funny moments of that movie). On the streets, Amy has always appeared as a happy-go-lucky, modern day Mary Tyler Moore, despite being able to portray disgust, depression and heartbreak in a very candid way onscreen. In other words, she'd be a sheer pleasure to have in your group of melodramatic friends.

Extra Tidbit: How would you have graded Amy?

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7:11PM on 12/29/2013
ya'll are rating this chicks WAY too high. she's average at best. very forgettable.
ya'll are rating this chicks WAY too high. she's average at best. very forgettable.
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2:54PM on 12/29/2013
I suppose we were overdue for a prominent hottie after so many requested lesser knowns and unconventionals. Naturally, what's to hate about Amy?

As far as prominent hotties go, I'd like to see at some point girls like Jennifer Lawrence, Rosario Dawson, Heather Graham, and Eva Green. For a lesser known, I still have my sights on Melissa Fumero.
I suppose we were overdue for a prominent hottie after so many requested lesser knowns and unconventionals. Naturally, what's to hate about Amy?

As far as prominent hotties go, I'd like to see at some point girls like Jennifer Lawrence, Rosario Dawson, Heather Graham, and Eva Green. For a lesser known, I still have my sights on Melissa Fumero.
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5:11AM on 12/29/2013

For me, she is one of the hottest women on the planet right now.

She makes me feel tingly in my special place.
She makes me feel tingly in my special place.
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4:48PM on 12/28/2013
my neighbor's half-sister makes 88 dollar an hour on the internet. She has been fired from work for 7 months but last month her pay was 19070 dollar just working on the internet for a few hours. learn the facts here now... www.Buzz19.com
my neighbor's half-sister makes 88 dollar an hour on the internet. She has been fired from work for 7 months but last month her pay was 19070 dollar just working on the internet for a few hours. learn the facts here now... www.Buzz19.com
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4:28PM on 12/28/2013
I think overall she is an A or A- for sure, but I am a bit surprised that she got an A- for boobs. I can't help but wonder if she was anyone else, would she have gotten that good of a grade for having relatively small boobs(she is a B cup). I mean, I only like smaler boobs, so that is the grade I would have given her, but sadly not many share my love of smaller boobs. So it is a bit curious that so many agree with that part of her grade. The only part of her grade that I disagree with is her A+
I think overall she is an A or A- for sure, but I am a bit surprised that she got an A- for boobs. I can't help but wonder if she was anyone else, would she have gotten that good of a grade for having relatively small boobs(she is a B cup). I mean, I only like smaler boobs, so that is the grade I would have given her, but sadly not many share my love of smaller boobs. So it is a bit curious that so many agree with that part of her grade. The only part of her grade that I disagree with is her A+ for fitness. She is definitely fit, but she is more of an A- than an A+ in that category. An A+ in fitness would be like Maggie Q or Maria Menounos, they actually have some abs and muscle tone. That is of course if your talking about actresses, but compared to models like Adriana Lima, Doutzen Kroes, and Candice Swanepoel, not even they would be an A+ in fitness. Speaking of Maggie Q, she would be great for a future Hottie Repoet Card.
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5:23PM on 12/28/2013
Do you carry a measuring tape and body fat caliper in your pocket to scientifically determine whether the women you meet are hot or not? ;)
Do you carry a measuring tape and body fat caliper in your pocket to scientifically determine whether the women you meet are hot or not? ;)
10:56AM on 12/30/2013
No, my eyes work just fine for that.
No, my eyes work just fine for that.
1:51PM on 12/28/2013
I am probably one of the few here, while I do think she is pretty, I dont seem to share that same love everyone else has for her.
I am probably one of the few here, while I do think she is pretty, I dont seem to share that same love everyone else has for her.
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8:23PM on 12/27/2013

Word of the Day

Definement.
Definement.
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6:53PM on 12/27/2013
Oh, the absolute cleavage she was rocking in every scene of American Hustle...be still my beating heart!
Oh, the absolute cleavage she was rocking in every scene of American Hustle...be still my beating heart!
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4:46PM on 12/27/2013
There really isn't anything to add - it's all been said before about the lovely Ms. Adams. She is damn perfect!
There really isn't anything to add - it's all been said before about the lovely Ms. Adams. She is damn perfect!
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+12
4:22PM on 12/27/2013
Really doesn't get much better than Ms. Adams!
Really doesn't get much better than Ms. Adams!
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2:09PM on 12/27/2013
That grade is spot on. Absolutely perfect.

I really hope she gets the Oscar this year for her performance in American Hustle. She was terrific.
That grade is spot on. Absolutely perfect.

I really hope she gets the Oscar this year for her performance in American Hustle. She was terrific.
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2:04PM on 12/27/2013

A+

If she isn't a 10 or A+ than I don't know what is.
If she isn't a 10 or A+ than I don't know what is.
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+10
2:03PM on 12/27/2013

In my eyes

She's perfection in all ways and has never been matched. I absolutely dig this hottie.
She's perfection in all ways and has never been matched. I absolutely dig this hottie.
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1:51PM on 12/27/2013
I'd say A is a fine score, Amy is' fast becoming a major talent and beauty and has big, big things in her future.

For future Report cards I have a couple suggestions: Jane Levy, Michelle Monaghan (Rewatched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, very underrated hottie) and on a personal level Ali Cobrin from American Reunion.
I'd say A is a fine score, Amy is' fast becoming a major talent and beauty and has big, big things in her future.

For future Report cards I have a couple suggestions: Jane Levy, Michelle Monaghan (Rewatched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, very underrated hottie) and on a personal level Ali Cobrin from American Reunion.
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2:36PM on 12/27/2013
Yes! Michelle Monaghan next!!!
Yes! Michelle Monaghan next!!!
1:40PM on 12/27/2013
Pretty much perfect.
Pretty much perfect.
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