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Hottie Report Card: Anna Kendrick

Sep. 6, 2013by: Salacious Crumb

Last week, fellow Movie Fan Central user dseal22 suggested we study Anna Kendrick's hotness for the next "Report Card", and you know how I like to please our fellow schmoes (since we're so often on the same page as each other). To be totally honest, this suggestion came right out of left field for me, but I assure you, I will grade her honestly, based on the minimum knowledge I embody. That said, feel free to grade Anna yourself in the "drool back" section, or vote on others, etc. Now, let's get on with the pictures!

 

This is a tough one to start off with, as I honestly have a hard time figuring out just how attracted I am to Kendrick's mug. Obviously, if I saw her walking down the street, I'd think she's damned attractive. I don't know, it could be that I've grown tired of seeing it, but I'm not quite as in awe of Anna's face as I used to be. Am I the only one?? She still looks hot enough for an above-average grade, though, that can be said.

I like what I see, but what I seen isn't much (meaning we need more over-the -shoulder poses, Anna!). Also, I usually prefer a little more plush in a lady's hindquarters. Anna's arse certainly isn't boney, but in this day and age, a little cushion helps more than it hurts. When it's properly presented to us, however, that tookus can be one hell of a head-turner. Salacious needs a neck brace.

I was initially pretty sure I'd be giving Anna an average grade or lower in this subject, but that was before I browsed through some pictures. Anna's got quite a decent rack going on, but it's a shame so many perverts like me are unaware of it. They're perky, fun-looking, and just about the right size for a handful. I'm not grading based on size so much, mind you, but Kendrick has the proportions that would please schmoes who aren't into basketball-sized breasts. I personally enjoy breasts of all sizes and shapes (except rectangle).

Being very lean and slender, you'd think I'd be granting Anna an 'A' in this category. That's not the case, only because I've seen how beautiful she can be with a few extra pounds on her. It's no secret that Kendrick has lost a fair amount of weight over the past few years, in the midst of all the pressure to stay in "top shape" for the MTV crowd. Each of the grades above would be tremendously improved if she'd go back to eating a "animal style" fries once in a while. Then again, that's one man's opinion.

To be honest, I've only seen two films in which Kendrick was heavily featured: 50/50 and UP IN THE AIR, both of which she was pretty phenomenal in. From what I hear, she displays the same chops in DRINKING BUDDIES, which flew right over the heads of the general public earlier this year. However, most of the teen-scream movies that got her face on magazine covers, such as PITCH PERFECT and the TWILIGHT series, are just unapologetic mindless entertainment. I suppose she can't be blamed for cashing those bigger checks, and she's surely bound to make a big impression somewhere down the line. Plus her Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actress earns her some extra credit.

As I mentioned atop this column, I know very little about Anna as a regular human being, so I won't include this with the final grade (although, let's face it, she's a 'B' student). From what I can tell, she seems very nice and easy to get along with. Let me put it this way: if I could choose two cast-members of the TWILIGHT films to hang out with, it'd be Kendrick and Ashley Greene (with a year supply of pudding).

Extra Tidbit: Hey, the school year has officially started, which means this column actually makes some sort of sense now! Who's next?

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+1
3:20PM on 09/09/2013
I'd knock her up to an A-. Someone hasn't seen Raputrepalooza. Her face and boobs get higher scores are warranted for both. She's very good at hiding how hot she is. Her career is also slightly better than you would think to give her credit for. She's done drama and comedy, she's adorable with an underplayed sexiness, and she's a great actress to boot. She's definitely one of the unsung hotties of Hollywood.
I'd knock her up to an A-. Someone hasn't seen Raputrepalooza. Her face and boobs get higher scores are warranted for both. She's very good at hiding how hot she is. Her career is also slightly better than you would think to give her credit for. She's done drama and comedy, she's adorable with an underplayed sexiness, and she's a great actress to boot. She's definitely one of the unsung hotties of Hollywood.
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7:31AM on 09/09/2013

Urgh

She's a very vague, loose approximation of hot. Plain, is what she is.
She's a very vague, loose approximation of hot. Plain, is what she is.
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4:09PM on 09/08/2013
She is A+ all the way, hot, funny and damn sexy.
She is A+ all the way, hot, funny and damn sexy.
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11:30PM on 09/07/2013
I love this chick. Her face and boobs deserve solid A's. She's 100% girlfriend material.
I love this chick. Her face and boobs deserve solid A's. She's 100% girlfriend material.
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9:33AM on 09/07/2013
She can act her ass off.
She can act her ass off.
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+10
8:53PM on 09/06/2013
I just watched Rapture-Palooza the other night, and half way through, I stopped the movie just to see who this babe was. Kind of cool that she's on the report card now.
I just watched Rapture-Palooza the other night, and half way through, I stopped the movie just to see who this babe was. Kind of cool that she's on the report card now.
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+12
7:45PM on 09/06/2013
I'd give her A in every category. She's effin hot in Pitch Perfect.
I'd give her A in every category. She's effin hot in Pitch Perfect.
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+8
5:39PM on 09/06/2013
You are way too low on face boobs and personality.
God, she's so mousy :3
You are way too low on face boobs and personality.
God, she's so mousy :3
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10:32PM on 09/06/2013
She's mousy like a mouse you want to put your dick in.

Guess the movie quote.
She's mousy like a mouse you want to put your dick in.

Guess the movie quote.
+5
5:05PM on 09/06/2013

I disagree... But only slightly.

She deserves a better grade for face, boobs, and personality... I'd say she deserves a better score for career as well, but I have yet to get over the fact that she was in Twilight.
She deserves a better grade for face, boobs, and personality... I'd say she deserves a better score for career as well, but I have yet to get over the fact that she was in Twilight.
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4:48PM on 09/06/2013
Does she get a B for "beaky-faced"?
Does she get a B for "beaky-faced"?
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4:15PM on 09/06/2013
I like her Spock brows.
I like her Spock brows.
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3:45PM on 09/06/2013

Personality = A+

Why? Because she got to fuck Edgar Wright for 4 years. I've met the guy. If she was good enough for him, she had to have had some major shit rocking between them ears.
Why? Because she got to fuck Edgar Wright for 4 years. I've met the guy. If she was good enough for him, she had to have had some major shit rocking between them ears.
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3:38PM on 09/06/2013
Her personality gets me going. She tweets some very provocative and sexy stuff.
Her personality gets me going. She tweets some very provocative and sexy stuff.
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3:05PM on 09/06/2013

She's definitely grown on me

At first, I found her somewhat 'meh' but she really improves with repeated viewings. She has great comedy chops, which I noticed (among other things) in SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD.

Next up: Gemma Arterton.
At first, I found her somewhat 'meh' but she really improves with repeated viewings. She has great comedy chops, which I noticed (among other things) in SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD.

Next up: Gemma Arterton.
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4:47PM on 09/06/2013
We can save Gemma Arterton until when Runner Runner opens, in four weeks I think.
We can save Gemma Arterton until when Runner Runner opens, in four weeks I think.
2:37PM on 09/06/2013
I can't be objective here she's perfect to me. She makes honor roll.
I can't be objective here she's perfect to me. She makes honor roll.
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2:00PM on 09/06/2013
She has an ass?
She has an ass?
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-19
1:43PM on 09/06/2013
Her eyes are to far apart and her forehead looks Frankensteinie
Her eyes are to far apart and her forehead looks Frankensteinie
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8:55PM on 09/06/2013
It's spelled 'too'.
It's spelled 'too'.
+1
12:34PM on 09/06/2013
She's SERIOUSLY hot and talented in my opinion! I think she is not your usual choice for an article like this and it's time she got her chance to be drooled over and graded like a nice juicy steak!!!
She's SERIOUSLY hot and talented in my opinion! I think she is not your usual choice for an article like this and it's time she got her chance to be drooled over and graded like a nice juicy steak!!!
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+4
12:08PM on 09/06/2013

So pretty

She's got the cutest personality and I might add a very pretty singing voice. All around adorable I think.
She's got the cutest personality and I might add a very pretty singing voice. All around adorable I think.
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11:49AM on 09/06/2013
Anna is absolutely stunning and I would give her better grades for her pretty face and awesome boobs. I do agree that she should put on a little weight though.
Anna is absolutely stunning and I would give her better grades for her pretty face and awesome boobs. I do agree that she should put on a little weight though.
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+3
11:48AM on 09/06/2013
I would have absolutely no problems waking up next to her every morning....
I would have absolutely no problems waking up next to her every morning....
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11:47AM on 09/06/2013
I follow her on Twitter. She's hilarious.
I follow her on Twitter. She's hilarious.
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11:38AM on 09/06/2013
What, a B- on her face? No way, she's gorgeous. I've really grown to become a fan of her's and I think she could play an awesome Lois Lane eventually.
What, a B- on her face? No way, she's gorgeous. I've really grown to become a fan of her's and I think she could play an awesome Lois Lane eventually.
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10:39AM on 09/06/2013
She's a cutie for sure. I think she deserves more personality points. She had a hilarious Twitter conversation with The Rock where she wanted to call herself The Pebble in a movie with him.

As for next week, maybe Olivia Wilde or Paula Patton.
She's a cutie for sure. I think she deserves more personality points. She had a hilarious Twitter conversation with The Rock where she wanted to call herself The Pebble in a movie with him.

As for next week, maybe Olivia Wilde or Paula Patton.
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10:28AM on 09/06/2013
She's gorgeous and one of my favorite hotties. A's all across the board from me.

For next week, how about Zoe Saldana?
She's gorgeous and one of my favorite hotties. A's all across the board from me.

For next week, how about Zoe Saldana?
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10:27AM on 09/06/2013
She's got much nicer boobs then butt, should should swap those scores.

Do Kelly Brook, Gemma Arterton, or Cobie Sulmders next!
She's got much nicer boobs then butt, should should swap those scores.

Do Kelly Brook, Gemma Arterton, or Cobie Sulmders next!
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10:21AM on 09/06/2013
She's adorable!
She's adorable!
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