Whether your excited or repulsed by the fact, SEX TAPE is out in theaters today. It could just be my bitter movie-going mind, but when a movie has a title that's literally screaming for your attention from the poster, it's doubtful such a film will be any good. However, it stars Cameron Diaz, and she's a ticket-selling machine for some reason. Why is that? Is she a witch? Why does everyone seem to have purely negative things to say about this woman while she still manages to get their asses in seats? Let's discuss this, and more, with the assistance of pictures...
I know, I know. A lot of you think Cameron's face reminds you of that female gremlin who f*cks that guy at the end of GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH, but I have to disagree. There's always been something about
Mary Cameron that grabbed my attention in a good way. When she first hit the scene, I don't know if it was even possible not to think she was a knockout. Of course, as she's gotten older, the things that once made her stand out (her smile, her laugh, her sense of humor, etc.) are now the things that make her kind of annoying. Still, she sells those tickets.
If you attend my class often enough, you know how much presentation is my thing. What's the point in a hottie having junk in the trunk if you only see the front of the vehicle? Sure, Cameron's no Iggy Minaj or Nikki Azalea, but she's always been proud to use her ass as an asset, whether it be in magazines or on film. My admiration for Cameron's rump is similar to a man's fandome of Pamela Anderson's tits; it's gone through many changes over the years, but the memories will never fade. Does that make any sense? No? Let's move on...
Cameron has yet to have bared everything on the big screen, but anyone with half a brain and some curiosity probably knows what her breasts look like... and they're not bad. They're not huge, but she's been known to trick us with optical allusions and such. Sadly, as she's lost weight over the years, her chest doesn't pack as much of a punch as it used to (see THE MASK), but I'm still oddly curious to check out those 41-year-old tulips.
I would be mad at myself if I didn't cut Cameron some slack in this category. After all, she has remained in pretty great shape over the years. Trust me, I'm still scarred for life from that dressing room scene in THE SWEETEST THING (I know it was supposed to be a little disturbing, but holy hell, that changed my entire outlook on Cameron's hotness to this day). Regardless, I think about 90% worth of credit for this subject is justifiable.
For the most part, especially in the last decade, her movies would rarely be described as "excellent". But again, she sells tickets. Whatever the reason may be, she's a household name, and people seem to love her as much as they hate her. Perhaps there was a time when she even showed some promise as a great actress (VANILLA SKY, GANGS OF NEW YORK), but ever since she got that SHREK money, it's like she doesn't even see acting as an artform. Sad, maybe, but she's still selling those tickets.
Despite my somewhat bitter attitude towards Cameron as an actress, I find myself perplexed as to whether or not I dig this hottie. I certainly don't hate her with a passion, as some clearly do. On the one hand, she seems to be very fun, filled with energy, and up for just about anything set in front of her. On the other hand, she's probably just a big, fat Hollywood phony. I guess we'll never really know the real Cameron Diaz. Not until she releases an actual sex tape, anyway.