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Hottie Report Card: Elizabeth Banks

05.02.2014by: Salacious Crumb

If you plan on hitting the movie theater this weekend, your plan probably involves watching a CGI superhero swing from building to building, and not checking out WALK OF SHAME. But if there's an audience for THE OTHER WOMAN, and apparently there is, then there's an audience for WALK OF SHAME, which stars Elizabeth Banks. That name alone might even lure the teenyboppers to theaters, considering her recent HUNGER GAMES fame. I've always liked Banks, but I've never really thought about where she ranks on the grand scale of hotties. So, get your grading papers out and let's examine the toothsome features of Elizabeth Banks...

When we were first introduced to Banks in films like WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER and THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN, she was hot as hell's sweat lodge. Not much has changed, except for the fact that we've all seen her in her hideous HUNGER GAMES make-up. Of course, the transition to that character onscreen is a true testament to her acting abilities, but now I can't help but notice a hint of Green Goblin in her smile. I'm kidding, let's get real, she's obviously gorgeous… You know, in that Willem Dafoe kind of way.

Here's a subject Elizabeth never lets down in. This is a feature of hers I've noticed from the get-go. No, it's not an over-the-top Nicki Minaj booty, but she works very well with what she has. I couldn't sketch her from a profile angle without a perfect circle compass. In other words, she's got a decent-sized trunk, and I'd like to put my bike in it.

She may not be all that voluptuous, but I can appreciate Elizabeth's tanks. They often look good onscreen and off, and she sometimes manages to get a decent amount of cleavage going on. Believe me, I've done my research. Her bewbs have taking somewhat of a toll as Banks gradually loses weight, but as long as she doesn't get all Gollum on us, I'll give her a pass.

Speaking of 40-year-olds, that actually happens to be Elizabeth's current age, though I would've had her pegged as more than a few years younger. I believe a lot of this has to do with how well she's kept herself up physically. She's appeared in issues of Women's Health numerous times, handing out various tips and exercise routines. Significant Tip #1: you can drop 15 lbs. instantly by making a porno with Seth Rogen.

I could go off and name all the better movies Elizabeth has on her resume, like SEABISCUIT, SLITHER, W., OUR IDIOT BROTHER, and so on. Then there's those movies like FRED CLAUS and MEET DAVE, which we'll just ignore. As far as her career itself, Elizabeth has been skyrocketing lately, and that wouldn't be possible if she didn't have the strive to take on interesting roles, and deliver. Hopefully she'll land another starring role soon in something more serious than WALK OF SHAME, but hell, I'm down to watch her stumble around in a tight, yellow dress for 90 minutes.

It doesn't hurt that she looks like the grown-up version of the cheerleader you couldn't get in high school, but Elizabeth's attitude and sense of humor takes her up several notches. It's cool that she can come off as naturally funny as her characters, and she doesn't try so hard to be the "funny girl" every second there's a camera in front of her. She's more like a cool, calm, curvy class clown. Just stay away from that HUNGER GAMES make-up.

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+0
12:02AM on 06/23/2014
Yes, very hot. I can't believe she's 40 years old.
Yes, very hot. I can't believe she's 40 years old.
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11:47PM on 05/05/2014

Face should be higher.

But, yeah, she's hot alright. Those many scenes of her in that tight yellow dress and the one in her purple lingerie in Walk Of Shameshow you don't need to be fully naked to be fappable as hell. Love her naughty humorous personality.
But, yeah, she's hot alright. Those many scenes of her in that tight yellow dress and the one in her purple lingerie in Walk Of Shameshow you don't need to be fully naked to be fappable as hell. Love her naughty humorous personality.
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11:33PM on 05/04/2014
Liz has always been a favorite of mine.
Liz has always been a favorite of mine.
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11:59AM on 05/04/2014
She is definitely a hottie, and her boobs deserve a higher grade for sure in my opinion. I would give them at least a B+. I have said it before, and I will say it again, grading boobs from size alone is just idiotic. Shape and proportionality should definitely factor into the grade. Not only that, but if possible nipples should also factor into the overall grade of a hotties boobs. Of course, that is only if the hottie has blessed the world with showing off their nipples as well as their boobs.
She is definitely a hottie, and her boobs deserve a higher grade for sure in my opinion. I would give them at least a B+. I have said it before, and I will say it again, grading boobs from size alone is just idiotic. Shape and proportionality should definitely factor into the grade. Not only that, but if possible nipples should also factor into the overall grade of a hotties boobs. Of course, that is only if the hottie has blessed the world with showing off their nipples as well as their boobs. Elizabeth Banks hasn't really showed off her boobs, not completely anyway, but the photo above is proof that she has showed off her nipples somewhat, and in my opinion they look perfect. So, that is why I say she deserves at least a B+, because her boobs have great shape and they are perfectly proportioned to her body, and her nipples look fantastic.
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+0
9:07PM on 05/02/2014
She's a VERY hot A!!!

And well done on not skewing the grade for the ass on not showing it too much!
She's a VERY hot A!!!

And well done on not skewing the grade for the ass on not showing it too much!
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6:41PM on 05/02/2014
A+ in my book. An underrated hottie and one of my favs.
A+ in my book. An underrated hottie and one of my favs.
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11:48AM on 05/02/2014

I am giving her an A

She has a hell of a body. "Meet Bill" showcases it perfectly. She seems fun and down to earth too. An underrated hottie and a personal favorite. She also has that crazy look in her eyes that scream "wait to that bed room for closes".
She has a hell of a body. "Meet Bill" showcases it perfectly. She seems fun and down to earth too. An underrated hottie and a personal favorite. She also has that crazy look in her eyes that scream "wait to that bed room for closes".
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10:38AM on 05/02/2014
That photo of her in the thin shirt with the pokies is crazy sexy. Walk of Shame is a terrible movie though.
That photo of her in the thin shirt with the pokies is crazy sexy. Walk of Shame is a terrible movie though.
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9:55AM on 05/02/2014
I'd rate her face higher.
I'd rate her face higher.
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9:54AM on 05/02/2014
Elizabeth is definitely hot and deserves a better career.

I'll suggest this one more time and then I'll shut up if you don't want to listen to me anymore: Annet Mahendru from The Americans. It's an awesome show with a pair of hotties in Keri Russell and Mahendru.
Elizabeth is definitely hot and deserves a better career.

I'll suggest this one more time and then I'll shut up if you don't want to listen to me anymore: Annet Mahendru from The Americans. It's an awesome show with a pair of hotties in Keri Russell and Mahendru.
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+1
9:25AM on 05/02/2014
Absolute nonsense!! She is an A all the way!!
Absolute nonsense!! She is an A all the way!!
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