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Hottie Report Card: Eva Green

03.07.2014by: Salacious Crumb

While the hype so far doesn't even compare to the original, 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE is probably the biggest movie being released this weekend. Even with the less-than-adequate reviews, fanboys are still likely to show up for the CGI gore and the possibility of some gatuitous nudity. After all, it does feature two very beautiful actresses, Lena Headey and Eva Green. Since we already put Headey to the test last August, let's go ahead and study the student body of Eva, shall we?

When CASINO ROYALE first came out, I wasn't in the same boat of guys who thought Eva was mind-numbingly gorgeous at first sight (I also thought Daniel Craig looked like a monkey-person). However, as is the case with most modern Bond vixens, Eva has grown on me over time.  There's no doubt she has some beneficial qualities above the shoulders, such as blue eyes that pierce your soul and freckles that only come out once every full moon.

In RISE OF AN EMPIRE, Eva is supposed to playing Artemisia, a twisted, heartless queen who sides with Xerxes during the Greco-Persian wars. However, if you ask me, the only thing twisted and heartless about Eva is that she doesn't walk around with her buttocks exposed all the time, like in the photo below. Seriously, what gives, Eva?

It's tough to find any complaints Eva's bewbs, considering the number of times she's made them visually available to the public. Even if that weren't the case, her talents in this subject are beyond underrated in the world of hotties. Those babies can get a preserved vampire's blood pumping again, and yes, I did just make a reference to the clusterf*ck of ideas that was Tim Burton's DARK SHADOWS.

Eva is obviously in great shape, so your outlook may depend on just how skinny you like your hotties. It may also depend how much you enjoy legs, in which case, Eva is definitely the hottie for you. The last time I saw stems like these attached to a Green was on my recent trip to Colorado. Any Rastafarians in the house?

Eva may be known for featured roles in huge-budget Hollywood movies, but she worked her beautiful ass off to get there. She studied acting basically all her life, and was considered for roles in THE BLACK DAHLIA and THE CONSTANT GARDENER before she went on to catch her break in CASINO ROYALE. Since then, she's been seen in THE GOLDEN COMPASS, DARK SHADOWS, the Starz series "Camelot", and the upcoming SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR. But if you really want to see Eva put all of her talents on display, and I do mean all of them, you should check out her first motion picture, THE DREAMERS. Thank me later.

As an actress, Eva really seems to find joy in putting herself in her characters' shoes, and sees it as just that. Now that "awards season" has finally wrapped up, it's nice to know there are some actors out there who simply enjoy acting for what it is, instead of putting themselves on some kind of unwarranted pedestal. As a person, Eva's pretty much your average, fun-having, hardworking foxy lady. For further evidence of this, check out our exclusive 1:1 interview with Eva right here.

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9:27PM on 03/09/2014

never did much for me

i can see how others would like her though. she's just not really my thing.
i can see how others would like her though. she's just not really my thing.
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4:46PM on 03/07/2014
If you ask me her ass is an A for sure, just look at that photo of it, the thing is damn near perfect. Unfortunately her boobs are not so perfect in my eyes, those I would give a B due to the fact that they are just a bit to big, but I do believe I agree on the rest of her grade
If you ask me her ass is an A for sure, just look at that photo of it, the thing is damn near perfect. Unfortunately her boobs are not so perfect in my eyes, those I would give a B due to the fact that they are just a bit to big, but I do believe I agree on the rest of her grade
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1:07PM on 03/10/2014
She's ridiculously hot in every way, but her tits are absolutely perfect.
She's ridiculously hot in every way, but her tits are absolutely perfect.
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2:53AM on 03/10/2014
Jaw dropping in Casino Royale. She's up there with Jennifer Connelly.
Jaw dropping in Casino Royale. She's up there with Jennifer Connelly.
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7:16PM on 03/09/2014
Long legs: check
Sweet ass: check
Beautiful big breasts: check
Beautiful, gorgeous face: check
She passes the test.
Long legs: check
Sweet ass: check
Beautiful big breasts: check
Beautiful, gorgeous face: check
She passes the test.
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7:54PM on 03/07/2014
Not only is she a complete stunner, she also picked up English very quickly and proficiently.
Not only is she a complete stunner, she also picked up English very quickly and proficiently.
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2:26PM on 03/08/2014
She is perfection from head to toe and beyond. The mere mention of her name results in the purchase of new pants for myself.
She is perfection from head to toe and beyond. The mere mention of her name results in the purchase of new pants for myself.
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9:23PM on 03/07/2014

Girl is just walking sex.

That is all.
That is all.
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3:50PM on 03/07/2014
Easily one of the best sets of breasts in Hollywood. I can't decide if hers or Lake Bell's are better but I enjoy the debate!
Easily one of the best sets of breasts in Hollywood. I can't decide if hers or Lake Bell's are better but I enjoy the debate!
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2:41PM on 03/07/2014
One of the hottest women on the planet.
One of the hottest women on the planet.
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2:26PM on 03/07/2014
I disagree big time with the grade of her face. I find her to be a definitive butterface.
I disagree big time with the grade of her face. I find her to be a definitive butterface.
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2:34PM on 03/07/2014
she doesn't show her ass because she doesn't have one to show. she's a B at best. I agree, her face isn't all that. her chest is above average though.
she doesn't show her ass because she doesn't have one to show. she's a B at best. I agree, her face isn't all that. her chest is above average though.
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