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Hottie Report Card: Imogen Poots

Mar. 14, 2014by: Salacious Crumb
100%

It's time once again to take out our suggestive pencil boxes and analyze the anatomy of a currently topical movie hottie. Today, we'll be studying English beauty and star of NEED FOR SPEEDImogen Poots. Imogen that...

Just like last week's featured student, Eva Green, Imogen is from Europe, where I'm convinced about 90% of Hollywood's most gorgeous heads come from. It's as difficult as it is silly to find her headshot anything other than beautifully unique and exotic. At the same time, while she's definitely eye-catching, I find Imogen more "beautiful" than "hot", if that makes a lick of sense.

This is an area I quickly noticed when first laying eyes on Imogen in FRIGHT NIGHT. Yeah, sure, it's no Kardashian badonkadonk, but for a skinnier girl, it suits her just fine. For a girl who races cars, she actually carries a fair amount of junk in the trunk. Get it? I should go into stand-up.

Imogen isn't the type of girl you'll likely see flaunting her breasts in magazines, or fabricating cleavage on the red carpet like Sarah Hyland. She's already on the Hollywood radar, and unfortunately, she hasn't had to remove her top on camera to get there. That said, Imogen's lack of presentation skills in this subject leaves this professor without much of an opinion either way. I guess it wouldn't kill her to flash her headlights every once in a while.

I hope this gives all of you leg lovers out there something to smile about. As promised, I'm going to start replacing the "fitness" category with something more applicable to the hottie in question, only if it's called for. One of the subjects I've seen suggested by you schmoes is "legs", which I believe is one of Imogen's stand-out features. Working those stems is one of her extracurricular activities, if you will. She shows them off a lot more than any other part of her body, and with good reason. No noodle legs holding up this hottie.

Aside from NEED FOR SPEED, Poots's career has been picking up some speed itself, to a significant degree.  Starting out with some smaller roles in films like V FOR VENDETTA and 28 WEEKS LATER, she's suddenly showing up in almost everything from FILTH to A LONG WAY DOWN to (for some godawful reason) THAT AWKWARD MOMENT. Sadly, none of those films have necessarily blown up at the box-office. Perhaps one of Imogen's many other upcoming projects (KNIGHT OF CUPS, SQUIRREL TO THE NUTS, BEAUTIFUL RUINS) will officially turn things around for her. That is unless the majority of audiences get hooked on SPEED.

From what I can tell, Imogen is outgoing but reserved, friendly but not seeking friends, and she has a terrific sense of humor but doesn't laugh too much; at least no in public. She currently seems a little overwhelmed, which would make sense, considering how busy she's been lately. Then again, Imogen and I don't hang out on a regular basis, so I'm going to give her the benefit of doubt. The "doubt" being that she doesn't behave like a wild party animal behind closed doors.

Extra Tidbit: How do you grade Poots on the Hot-O-Meter?

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3:25AM on 03/16/2014
Other than her boobs, I pretty much agree with this grade. I personally would give her boobs a B+ at least. They look like just the perfect size for me, but because I haven't actually seen them, I can't say for sure just how perfect they are. For all I know she could have gigantic puffy nipples or something, so I can't justify giving her the even higher grade her size would normally merit from me.
Other than her boobs, I pretty much agree with this grade. I personally would give her boobs a B+ at least. They look like just the perfect size for me, but because I haven't actually seen them, I can't say for sure just how perfect they are. For all I know she could have gigantic puffy nipples or something, so I can't justify giving her the even higher grade her size would normally merit from me.
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2:43PM on 03/15/2014

What Happened to "Fitness"?

Has "Legs" replaced it permanently?
Has "Legs" replaced it permanently?
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8:57PM on 03/14/2014
I think she's cute, just personally not a fan of the moles around her mouth.
I think she's cute, just personally not a fan of the moles around her mouth.
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8:52AM on 03/14/2014
I'm happy to see her career starting to get noticed. I first saw her in 28 Weeks Later and was hoping she get recognized.
I'm happy to see her career starting to get noticed. I first saw her in 28 Weeks Later and was hoping she get recognized.
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7:29AM on 03/14/2014

Hottie

I always had a thing for this chick since I saw her in "Fright Night". I do like her better when her hair is straightened as opposed to when it is a puffy mess. She has great eyes.
I always had a thing for this chick since I saw her in "Fright Night". I do like her better when her hair is straightened as opposed to when it is a puffy mess. She has great eyes.
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