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Hottie Report Card: Kate Mara

Feb. 28, 2014by: Salacious Crumb

Man, television's really been kicking film's ass lately, has it not? Or perhaps we should call it "home entertainment", as many of the programs people won't shut up about lately stem from Netflix. One of the most obvious examples that comes to mind is HOUSE OF CARDS, which features Kevin Spacey, Robin "Buttercup" Wright and the very lovely Kate Mara, who was recently cast as our new Sue Storm. If that weren't enough, she's due to appear in TRANSCENDENCE in April. We're featuring Mara this week not just because of all the news, but also because it was her birthday yesterday, and we forgot. So let's make it up to her and you today by looking at some pictures, shall we?

If you ask me, Kate's head and shoulders are head-and-shoulders above her sister's. Mara most definitely lights up whatever room she walks into, directing all eyes toward her, even on the set of HOUSE OF CARDS (no offense, Mr. Spacey). Kate's noggin just hasn't circulated on enough magazine covers to become known to the unthinking majority, but she'll get there. There's definitely a redheaded Hayley Atwell thing goin' on. Plus, you've gotta love the sprinkled-on freckles.

First and foremost, I'd like to congratulate Kate on a dense collection of splendid butt-shots, an art form which finally seems to be coming back lately (I'm crying tears of joy along with you). Well done, Kate. While I've probably given similar grades to girls who are lugging around heftier derrieres, I'm just all around impressed with Mara's overall presentation and form. It's an ace of spades.

While Mara has all the booty a pirate could want, she's also proven to have some treasures stored in her chest. Last week, I received several schoolyard threats and death wishes for giving Emily Browning a C+ in this subject. I can take the heat, but I promise that decision wasn't made on size alone. It seems impossible to prove it, and it's a ridiculous thing to defend, so I'll just hope you don't take my judgement so seriously this time around.

I certainly can't complain here. Kate has been open about mental obsession with working out in the past. It shows, and she's not afraid to show it. Kate will have the occasional glass of wine with french fries, but she'll usually stick to diet of smoothies and veggie burgers. Hopefully my diet Donettes and Cheetos wouldn't throw a monkey wrench in the relationship.

Mara has been involved with acting since the mid-'90's, but started gaining recognition after SHOOTER, ZOOM and the series "24" rolled around. If that doesn't sound impressive, in the last five years, Kate's been credited in 127 HOURS, IRON MAN 2, AMERICAN HORROR STORY, DEADFALL and lest we forget she is now set to star as Sue Storm in the FANTASTIC FOUR re-shit, whether you like it or not. Take all of that out and you still have the highly successfull HOUSE OF LIES CARDS, a political rollercoaster of suspense, or so I'm told. Not bad, Kate. You keep climbing up that ladder; we'll watch from down here.

While Kate now stars on a program with an excessive amount of political chatter, she also knows a whole hell of a lot about politics herself, and sees it as an entertaining topic of conversation. She's also stated she would never date a professional football player, which automatically makes her smarter than 85% of people I know (men included). Overall, she seems to be very down to earth and easy to spark up a conversation with so long as you've got some brains left in you after all the pot brownies and video-games. Now, please enjoy this beautiful, vertical picture of Kate.

Extra Tidbit: In preparation for her role as The Invisible Woman, Kate will now only be wearing an invisible jumpsuit. Breaking news, brought to you by: my dreams.

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5:36AM on 02/28/2014
Hotter than her sister - who's still hot. Can't wait to see her and Rebecca Hall together in Transcendence. Rawr.
Hotter than her sister - who's still hot. Can't wait to see her and Rebecca Hall together in Transcendence. Rawr.
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7:00AM on 02/28/2014
Kate has an awesome body and looks a bit younger than 31. If I hadn't just looked up her age I would have guessed she was about 25.
Kate has an awesome body and looks a bit younger than 31. If I hadn't just looked up her age I would have guessed she was about 25.
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7:49AM on 02/28/2014
Wow does she ever look like Emma Watson in that third pic from the bottom. Hot!
Wow does she ever look like Emma Watson in that third pic from the bottom. Hot!
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7:53AM on 02/28/2014

An underrated beauty

I'm glad to see Kate finally getting the recognition she deserves. I always felt she was a underrated beauty.
I'm glad to see Kate finally getting the recognition she deserves. I always felt she was a underrated beauty.
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10:33AM on 02/28/2014

B or B+ IMO

There's nothing wrong with her but there's also nothing special about her. Also, she looks nothing like Hayley Atwell.

How about Lupita Nyong'o next week?
There's nothing wrong with her but there's also nothing special about her. Also, she looks nothing like Hayley Atwell.

How about Lupita Nyong'o next week?
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+1
11:34AM on 02/28/2014

Loved her...

Ever since I saw her in that cheerleader outfit in Nip Tuck.
Ever since I saw her in that cheerleader outfit in Nip Tuck.
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12:14PM on 02/28/2014
She is a hottie for sure and from what I can tell a good actress too. There's a reason why she won't date NFL players, she's related to the Rooney's of the Pittsburg Steelers and the Mara's of the NY Giants. She's probably seen too much of the world.
She is a hottie for sure and from what I can tell a good actress too. There's a reason why she won't date NFL players, she's related to the Rooney's of the Pittsburg Steelers and the Mara's of the NY Giants. She's probably seen too much of the world.
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+1
2:27PM on 02/28/2014

Love Love Love Kate Mara!

She's been my favorite hot actress for a couple of years. If you want to know how amazing she can look, check out her lesbian scene from Nip/Tuck. She is absolutely smoking!

Speaking of smoking, the author needs to put down the crackpipe. A "B" for her breasts? Are you serious? They are the best pair (when figuring size, shape, firmness, and proportionality) in Hollywood. I promise not to issue a death threat, but I've got to question your man card. Sorry dude....
She's been my favorite hot actress for a couple of years. If you want to know how amazing she can look, check out her lesbian scene from Nip/Tuck. She is absolutely smoking!

Speaking of smoking, the author needs to put down the crackpipe. A "B" for her breasts? Are you serious? They are the best pair (when figuring size, shape, firmness, and proportionality) in Hollywood. I promise not to issue a death threat, but I've got to question your man card. Sorry dude....
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9:47PM on 03/01/2014
How would you know that they're the best pair in Hollywood when we haven't seen them in all their glory, or felt them?

We've seen plenty of cases of actresses seemingly having perfect boobs while being clothed only for them to be a letdown once the clothes have come off.

Until she actually shows off the puppies in their bare glory, Alexandra Daddario says hello.
How would you know that they're the best pair in Hollywood when we haven't seen them in all their glory, or felt them?

We've seen plenty of cases of actresses seemingly having perfect boobs while being clothed only for them to be a letdown once the clothes have come off.

Until she actually shows off the puppies in their bare glory, Alexandra Daddario says hello.
4:05PM on 02/28/2014
I completely agree with all of this, especially the part about her boob grade not being high enough.
I completely agree with all of this, especially the part about her boob grade not being high enough.
-11
4:07PM on 02/28/2014

...

What? No way. This chick sucks. Constant "stick up her ass" look. Single-handedly ruins House of Cards. F+
What? No way. This chick sucks. Constant "stick up her ass" look. Single-handedly ruins House of Cards. F+
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4:32PM on 02/28/2014
What the hell is an F+?
What the hell is an F+?
4:21PM on 02/28/2014
What an asshole.
What an asshole.
+0
12:47AM on 03/04/2014

Boobs Should Get A Higher Score...

You should also have used a photo from 'Shooter' with her braless, wearing a tight t-shirt at home.
You should also have used a photo from 'Shooter' with her braless, wearing a tight t-shirt at home.
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