Settle down, class! Quit monkeying around! I know most of us are going apeshit over DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES, which came out today. That's why our student under study this week is longtime movie hottie Keri Russell, who also currently stars on "The Americans" on FX. At this point, her hotness probably doesn't need any further analysis, but that won't stop us from taking this opportunity to look at some toothsome pictures of her. Keri's so hot, she could turn MIGHTY JOE YOUNG into KING KONG, if you know what I'm saying. So let's get down to business (... monkey business!), and see if Russell still rustles our jimmies.
Back in the good old days, I new very well who Keri was, but it wasn't because I watched "Felicity" or had seen any of her films. It was because I thought she was f*cking gorgeous, and back then, she pretty clearly was. These days, the situation isn't that different, she's just a more hot, grown-up version of her hot, younger self. As my grandma would say, Keri has a "youthful" look, and that's never a bad thing (unless it's really creepy). And if there's anyone qualified to define what make movie stars "hot" these days, it's my gam gam.
Although I would like for there to be nothing but great things about Keri's derriere, there's really not a whole lot to say at all. Those who check out this column often enough (and actually read it) know that I base this grade significantly on the presentation of the ass at stake. Given that Keri's been around for a couple of decades, I'm genuinely surprised by the lack of decent butt shots from her. Thankfully, she's been working on that part of her portfolio as of late, specifically in certain episodes of "The Americans".
As the character "Peter" said in the film EIGHT DAYS A WEEK, Keri's breasts are just the perfect size to fill a martini glass. While I've never applied this analogy to how I grade boobies, I would have to agree. For a smaller0chested woman, Keri has a way of making it work for her, and has even made her little Russells impressively stand out on occasion.
This is where I can't help but give Keri some well-deserved credit. While many of the hotties who walk into this class are young, with many years ahead to spiral into wreckage, Keri has maintained a stunning bod over the course of the couple decades she's been known by couch potatoes all across the globe. She made us even more aware of her kept-up fitness in a recent issue of Women's Health magazine, and the results were pretty flippin' fantastic...
Keri had a pretty reliable launching pad for her career back in the nineties, starring in the hit teen drama series "Felicity". For whatever reason, she basically disappeared for about a decade, without any sort of warning. Back then, I don't know if anyone would've considered her an especially good actress, but now things are beginning to change. She has "The Americans", which has built up a significant fanbase, and now she can be seen in what may be the best-reviewed film of the Summer, DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES. So I guess there's still some hope left for Keri to really make an impression on us, although it probably won't be as impactful as the wet t-shirt she bared in EIGHT DAYS A WEEK. Holy hell.
While I typically hand out a "B+" by default to hotties I'm not too familiar with, Russell fits the bill quite perfectly, actually. When I've seen her appear on the red carpet, or various talk shows, she seems like a very friendly being, but just a tad bit boring. Then again, as an actress, she seems to be game for a lot of stuff other actresses wouldn't, and for that, I have to give her some well-deserved extra credit. Hopefully we'll be seeing more of Keri's fun side in the coming months, though only time will tell.