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Hottie Report Card: Natalie Dormer

Dec. 6, 2013by: Salacious Crumb

Okay, her name has been plaguing the comments section on practically a weekly basis for a whilenow, so I figure I'd throw you a frickin' bone and give you your Natalie Dormer. Natalie has been gradually climbing the hottie ladder for years by presenting her cute boobies on period-based drama series like "The Tudors", and more famously, "Game Of Thrones". Personally, I never really paid attention because I don't watch those shows. Nothing against them, although from an outsiders perspective, it's strange to see what looks like soft-core pornography receive so many Emmy nominations. I know, me complaining about the sexual themes on a TV show is like the pot calling the kettle a worthless bastard. So forget that, let us just move on and get to studying this dame of "Thrones"...

Setting her legs aside, Natalie's mug is probably her best physicalfeature and the key thing that attracts her many fans/stalkers. I didn't know much about this woman before looking her up, but the face told me 60% of what I needed to know. One minor annoyance of mine is that off-to-the-side, "duck lips" thing she does. It's cute at first, but after going through ten dozen photos of her with that same expression, I'm almost worried her mouth was permanently damaged from sucking on a really sour lemon as a kid.

This part of Dormer's anatomy doesn't necessarily drop my tongue to the floor, but maybe somewhere near my belly-button. From certain angles, her lower curves definitely have the power to affect your sweat glands, but I haven't been fully convinced that the booty itself possesses much power all on its own. Perhaps I just need a little more convincing.

Many schmoes out thereprefer boobs that are just big enough fill a martini glass, and Dormer pretty much fits that bill perfectly. She does know how to present them at red carpet gatherings and such, but I was just slightly underwhelmedwhen I rushed to check out one of Dormer's toplessscenes in "Game Of Thrones". Before anyone starts chucking stones and launching arrows at my general vicinity, please remember a B+ is still pretty darn good. By no means, Natalie, should you stop taking your clothes off on camera.

While she can probably improve in the subjects above by adding a few pounds, Natalie's body type is quite an amazing spectacle as it stands. Granted I haven't seen her standing around naked on an HD screen as much as religious"Thrones" watchers, but I don't think they would disagree. She looks flatout faptastic most of the time, and I admire her choice to wear lots ofloose but revealing clothes. It's like looking at a gorgeous sculpture that's halfway covered withdrapes.

31-year-old Dormer's early work in the biz consisted of mediocre flicks like CASANOVA, FLAWLESS and the terrible, Madonna-directed W.E. However, her film career seems to be picking up some speed this year, with her appearances in RUSH and THE COUNSELOR, plus the fact that she's been cast in MOCKINGJAY PARTS 1 and 2. Of course, her involvement with "Game Of Thrones" is what Dormer's known most for, which is why she's still unfamiliar to schmoes like myself. She has stated herself that she hopes to not be typecast in period pieces, or as she calls it, catching "Helena Bonham Carter-itis". Let's hope she comes to more outsiders' attention in 2014. She seems to be headedon the right track.

As per usual, I won't be taking this subject into account much in the "overall grade" because I don't know this hottie too well. If I'd noticed something obvious right off the bat that made me like or dislike her, it would be different. Some reasons to like her: she enjoys fencing as a hobby, she was bullied in school and she's fond of classic movies. Reasons to dislike her: she's not on my bed.

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5:29PM on 12/06/2013
Watch the season one finale of the Tudors. That in the woods sex scene will explain all the love for her though it ends so frustratingly. And yeah... this site needs to learn averages. Unless all hotties get extra credit for being awesome :-P
Watch the season one finale of the Tudors. That in the woods sex scene will explain all the love for her though it ends so frustratingly. And yeah... this site needs to learn averages. Unless all hotties get extra credit for being awesome :-P
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3:08PM on 12/06/2013
She is very sexy, and one cant help but love her naked body, and she is a good actor. I agree with her grade.
She is very sexy, and one cant help but love her naked body, and she is a good actor. I agree with her grade.
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12:53PM on 12/06/2013

Super sexy

I even like her smirk.
I even like her smirk.
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12:52PM on 12/06/2013

Unique/unusual and celebrated

I think that it's a great thing, seeing women who are a tad "wonky" get as much love as those men in the business who are celebrated for the same. Let's face it, Cumberbatch & Hiddleston are a couple of actors who are huge right now and fawned over (although women are more forgiving of a man's face having 'character' than vice versa). Why not Natalie?
I think that it's a great thing, seeing women who are a tad "wonky" get as much love as those men in the business who are celebrated for the same. Let's face it, Cumberbatch & Hiddleston are a couple of actors who are huge right now and fawned over (although women are more forgiving of a man's face having 'character' than vice versa). Why not Natalie?
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5:48PM on 12/06/2013
I loved her look on "Elementary". Made me appreciate her particular beauty even more.
I loved her look on "Elementary". Made me appreciate her particular beauty even more.
1:05AM on 12/07/2013
I completely agree, because she looked incredible on Elementary.
I completely agree, because she looked incredible on Elementary.
12:01PM on 12/06/2013
how do you have more B's than A's and still get an A-? Not one of them is an A+. this chick is a solid B at best.
how do you have more B's than A's and still get an A-? Not one of them is an A+. this chick is a solid B at best.
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12:35PM on 12/06/2013
Agreed
Agreed
10:45AM on 12/06/2013

rush

You see her butt and overall figure in the movie for a brief few moments. She has a nice body
You see her butt and overall figure in the movie for a brief few moments. She has a nice body
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10:21AM on 12/06/2013
A for me.
A for me.
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10:10AM on 12/06/2013

She's so hott!

Thanks for throwing me a bone lol
Thanks for throwing me a bone lol
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9:25AM on 12/06/2013
Her nickname at school was 'Isaiah' because one eye's higher than the other. A seriously ugly fucking woman with a lop-sided face. The left eye's higher than the right and the right side of the mouth's higher than the left. Total stroke victim.
Her nickname at school was 'Isaiah' because one eye's higher than the other. A seriously ugly fucking woman with a lop-sided face. The left eye's higher than the right and the right side of the mouth's higher than the left. Total stroke victim.
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11:28AM on 12/06/2013
She's only on tv, movies, magazines, and the internet wearing next to nothing in sexy poses. So your wrong. Fact. Argument over. I win.
She's only on tv, movies, magazines, and the internet wearing next to nothing in sexy poses. So your wrong. Fact. Argument over. I win.
8:44AM on 12/06/2013

Most Definetely

No brainer. Super Hot. And by no brainer I mean thats exactly what she does to me is my brain turns off and I go into a comatose of horny and drool on myself.
No brainer. Super Hot. And by no brainer I mean thats exactly what she does to me is my brain turns off and I go into a comatose of horny and drool on myself.
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8:16AM on 12/06/2013
I'd agree with that rating, I like Natalie, she's got a unique beauty and while I haven't seen much of her work she's blown me away on Game Of Thrones.

For next week why not do one of the women from The Hobbit like Evangeline Lilly or Orlando Bloom?
I'd agree with that rating, I like Natalie, she's got a unique beauty and while I haven't seen much of her work she's blown me away on Game Of Thrones.

For next week why not do one of the women from The Hobbit like Evangeline Lilly or Orlando Bloom?
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5:50PM on 12/06/2013
:)
:)
7:29AM on 12/06/2013
I don't think she's conventionally hot in that glamour model way, but I do find her attractive. Her facial features are very elvish and alluring and the way she carries herself just screams sexy.
I don't think she's conventionally hot in that glamour model way, but I do find her attractive. Her facial features are very elvish and alluring and the way she carries herself just screams sexy.
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