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Hottie Report Card: Rosario Dawson

08.22.2014by: Salacious Crumb

Welcome to another bedazzling edition of "Hottie Report Card". At the request of our Movie Fan Central users in last week's report card, this week's student will will be noneother than the one and only Rosario Dawson, star of the recently-released SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR. The cast of the comic book "noir" sequel has plently of appeasing eye candy thrown into the mix, but we all seem to agree that Rosario needs her time to shine, unlike Jessica Alba, who's been consistently in the spotlight for far too long. So let's pop on our grading caps, professor! Besides, how often do we get to grade a hottie who actually has a "back-to-school" photoshoot under her belt?

I'll admit, it took more than the first SIN CITY and the second MEN IN BLACK for me to discover the true potential in this hottie. Through this professor's eyes, Rosario automatically sets off a "girl next door" bell in my head. Then again, that could just be the alarm for the fries at the Mooby's she manages in my personal fantasies. Yes, I have bizarre fantasies.

Rosario doesn't seem to have grabbed much attention from derriere connoisseurs, except for those who've done their research. While I can't say it's been given justice on the big screen, Dawson's creek has proven itself worthy in multiple photoshoots throughout the years. Is it too early in the day to start the "ass-to-mouth" debate?

If you remember this magical moment from some years back, where Rosario was caught hosing herself down in a bikini (and with an unexpectedly young audience), you know why Rosario deserves an "A" here. Here delightful bouncing sequence from CLERKS 2 should have you on board with this decision. Hell, if you remember how distracting those balls of yarn were in JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS, you probably side with this decision. Somehow, this lovely pair has gone too long without proper recognition, so let's hope this pic can do them some justice.

In a realistic sense, Rosario is in exactly the kind of shape I'd hope for my spouse to be in. While she may not be necessarily chiseled from stone, she's still got the curves to sustain an hourglass figure when it's called for. Of course, she's proven time and time again to rock a bikini, and her posture is generally outstanding, to say the least. In other words, she's pretty damned well-aware of how to make herself look hot at the drop of a hat.

I find it morally wrong to talk smack on an actress who's worked with so many iconic filmmakers of the modern era, including Quinten Tarantino, Danny Boyle, Robert Rodriguez and Kevin Smith. Not to mention, she's generally lovely to watch. Of course, along with a long-standing acting  carreer, Rosario's bound to have had a few stinkers (ZOOKEEPER, THE ADVENTURES OF PLUTO NASH), but we'll keep on forgiving her so long as she occasionally resorts back to that black leather.

Rosario first plucked on my love strings when I learned she was a fan of the Johnny the Homicidal Maniac comic book series, so my opinion here may be even more biased than usual. She's very charismatic and has a genuine taste for nerd culture, which is rarely a turn-off for movie fans. However, I think if something puts Rosario on a pedestal above other hotties, it's her friendliness. At least I feel like I could talk to this hottie without getting smothered with mase. For Alba, I'm not sure I could say the same. Now let's end this column the right way: with a picture of Rosario and her GRINDHOUSE co-star Rose McGowan, armed, naked and dangerous.

Check out our previous Hottie Report Cards...

"A" Students: Salma Hayek, Jennifer Aniston, Paula Patton, Gemma Arterton, Amber Heard, Lacey Chabert, Jaimie Alexander, Gillian Jacobs, Natalie Dormer, Amy Adams, Alison Brie, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Brook, Kate Mara, Eva Green, Carla Gugino, Scarlett Johansson, Kate Upton, Sofia Vergara, Jennifer Lawrence, Charlize Theron, Olivia MunnZoe Saldana.

"B" Students: Sandra Bullock, Alice Eve, Jenna Fischer, Lena Headey, Kristen Bell, Anna Kendrick, Cobie Smulders, Rashida Jones, Danielle Harris, Nicole Beharie, Ellie Kemper, Michelle Trachtenberg, Evangeline Lilly, Meagan Good, Gabrielle Union, Yvonne Strahovski, Sarah Hyland, Emily Browning, Imogen Poots, Tina Fey, Karen Gillan, Rebecca Hall, Elizabeth Banks, Annet Mahendru, Emily Blunt, Emilia Clarke, Moon Bloodgood, Danielle Fishel, Keri Russell, Cameron Diaz, Rachel McAdams, Megan Fox, Aubrey Plaza.

"D" Students: Khloe Kardashian.

Extra Tidbit: How would you grade this hottie, professor?

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6:26PM on 08/25/2014
One of the truly perfect female specimens...
One of the truly perfect female specimens...
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1:28PM on 08/24/2014

"Somehow, this lovely pair has gone too long without proper recognition"

I think Alexander and Trance prove they've gotten proper recognition.
I think Alexander and Trance prove they've gotten proper recognition.
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12:35PM on 08/23/2014
Smoking hottie, and her score was much too minimized.
Smoking hottie, and her score was much too minimized.
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+2
11:18AM on 08/23/2014
Go and watch Trans and tell me she's not a 10. She's super hot
Go and watch Trans and tell me she's not a 10. She's super hot
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11:13PM on 08/22/2014
She is definitely pretty, and she can be very hot, and while I appreciate that she has gone nude a few times for her acting(including last year), overall I am not all that attracted to her body type in general. She is just too busty to be a top hottie in my book.
She is definitely pretty, and she can be very hot, and while I appreciate that she has gone nude a few times for her acting(including last year), overall I am not all that attracted to her body type in general. She is just too busty to be a top hottie in my book.
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11:00PM on 08/22/2014

A's across the board for me

I've always liked her and her fun attitude.
I've always liked her and her fun attitude.
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6:00PM on 08/22/2014
She ok.
She ok.
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9:55PM on 08/24/2014
Tell me in that face pic that she doesn't look like Prince? This chick scores a C at best. In fact, she ain't jack, Jack.
Tell me in that face pic that she doesn't look like Prince? This chick scores a C at best. In fact, she ain't jack, Jack.
3:35PM on 08/22/2014
The ultimate mix of Black and Latina. A true gawdesk.
The ultimate mix of Black and Latina. A true gawdesk.
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+1
2:40PM on 08/22/2014
I think her ass deserves at least an A, but I've really been looking! Extra credit for posing with it against Rose McGowan's like that!!!
I think her ass deserves at least an A, but I've really been looking! Extra credit for posing with it against Rose McGowan's like that!!!
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12:38PM on 08/22/2014
Rosario has fantastic curves and is more than willing to do nude scenes. That pretty much guarantees an 'A' from me.
Rosario has fantastic curves and is more than willing to do nude scenes. That pretty much guarantees an 'A' from me.
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