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Hottie Report Card: Scarlett Johansson

Apr. 4, 2014by: Salacious Crumb

At last, CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER is out in theaters, and all week long we've been celebrating the Black Widow herself, Scarlett Johansson. Along with the release of the latest Marvel flick, Scarlett can also be seen in the sci-fi/fantasy UNDER THE SKIN. The trailer for her next film, LUCY, also just hit the web, which gives us all the more incentive to study Scarlett's body of work in this week's report card. So let's get down to it, shall we?

One thing I admire about Scarlett is her ability to play the clueless girl-next-door just as well as the superficial, conniving mega-hottie. She's been around long enough, and has portrayed so many characters, many different emotions come to mind when faced with Scarlett's mugshot. The most common being "yummy".

I'm in an uncommon position here, where I feel like there's no need to defend myself. Anyone who's seen Johansson sporting that skin-tight latex suit as the Black Widow must have a secret appreciation for the bottom-half of her hourglass figure.

Here's an area on Scarlett's resume which is recognized by the majority as most positively outstanding, and without question. There's really not much that needs to be said. Over the years, we've become more and more familiar with Scarlett's marvelous duo, and the infatuation continues to grow. You rarely come by a ScarJo flick that lacks the subtle charm of consistent cleavage and/or well-proportioned dresses.

We all know Scarlett has a terrific bod, so I though I might as well switch things up a bit, so I'm swapping out the "fitness" with something more worth acknowledging: her voice. Sure, she wasn't eligible for an Academy Award for her uber-sexy vocal performance in last year's HER. but the fact that the discussion was even circulating is a big tip of the hat towards Scarlett's voice acting skills. She even lent her voice to SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS: THE MOVIE, and tell me that movie isn't chock-full of sexual undertones.

Scarlett is 29-years-old, and she's worked with more high-profile directors than most 50-year-old actresses. Scarlett likes to keep herself busy as an actress, and she treats it not just as her career, but as a way of life. I could be reading too much into it, but I dig myself an actress who takes what she does seriously, and pushes herself. What better sort of artistic mind to take on a Marvel super heroine.

Naturally, the PERFECT SCORE star gets A's all across the board from this particular schmoe. More often now than ever, Scarlett displays a lot of comfort in herself, while at the same time keeping us well aware that she has no clue what she's doing in big Hollywood movies. She doesn't seem to plan her life out in order to adjust to her "big movie career". She just sort of goes with the flow. I personally consider this attitude to be awesome, but what do you think?

Extra Tidbit: How would you grade Scarlett Johansson?

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10:55AM on 04/11/2014
Nailed it. Spot on sir!
Nailed it. Spot on sir!
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10:42PM on 04/07/2014
While some points should be deducted for having had sex with Sean Penn *shivers* this grade is still wholly deserved. So awesome and so beautiful.
While some points should be deducted for having had sex with Sean Penn *shivers* this grade is still wholly deserved. So awesome and so beautiful.
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2:46PM on 04/06/2014
=thumbs up= Works for me.
=thumbs up= Works for me.
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7:24PM on 04/05/2014
A+ + + +, my favorite celeb chick ever.
A+ + + +, my favorite celeb chick ever.
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4:46AM on 04/05/2014
Works for me.
Works for me.
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2:13AM on 04/05/2014
Yup. Pretty much perfect.
Yup. Pretty much perfect.
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+1
7:03PM on 04/04/2014
it really doesn't get any better then Scarlett!
it really doesn't get any better then Scarlett!
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3:02PM on 04/04/2014
Perfect score all across the board. She is the perfect package and really stepped up her ass kicking game in Winter Soldier.
Perfect score all across the board. She is the perfect package and really stepped up her ass kicking game in Winter Soldier.
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10:35PM on 04/04/2014
I was really digging how much fighting Black Widow did in Winter Soldier. Props to ScarJo's stunt double(s) as well. Here's Amy Johnston, who was the main Black Widow stunt double for Winter Soldier: [link] And a clip of her doing her stuff [link]
I was really digging how much fighting Black Widow did in Winter Soldier. Props to ScarJo's stunt double(s) as well. Here's Amy Johnston, who was the main Black Widow stunt double for Winter Soldier: [link] And a clip of her doing her stuff [link]
11:10PM on 04/06/2014
Well, they both looked great kicking ass.
Well, they both looked great kicking ass.
12:16PM on 04/04/2014
Here's a woman who's very naturally sexy and who always seems very in control of her sexuality.
Here's a woman who's very naturally sexy and who always seems very in control of her sexuality.
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11:42AM on 04/04/2014
Scarlett is an absolute goddess and also one of the finest actresses around today. Seriously, everything about her is perfect - her husky voice, her gorgeous face, those big wonderful breasts. I don't even know how it's possible for such an awesome creature to exist but I'm damn glad Scarlett is here.
Scarlett is an absolute goddess and also one of the finest actresses around today. Seriously, everything about her is perfect - her husky voice, her gorgeous face, those big wonderful breasts. I don't even know how it's possible for such an awesome creature to exist but I'm damn glad Scarlett is here.
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