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Hottie Report Card: Tina Fey

Mar. 21, 2014by: Salacious Crumb

Before the term "puppets" was commonly used to describe marionette-like celebrity judges on a singing game show, there were the Muppets. Jim Henson's legend was thankfully saved before it hit the ground when Disney released THE MUPPETS with Jason Segel and Amy Adams in 2011. Now they're back at it again in MUPPETS MOST WANTED, with the help of Ty Burrell, Ricky Gervais and Sarah Palin's hotter sister, Tina Fey. I think it's fair to assume Tina's been accepted into the world of hotties over the years, but exactly how hot is she? Let's put on our ogling helmets, look at some pictures and find out!

I would give Tina a B+ with the glasses, or a B- without. Ipso facto, she receives a solid B in this category. Why she would ever ditch the spectacles which initially caught the eyes of adoring fans is beyond me. That's just the Hollywood way, I guess. It's my humble opinion, but those couple ounces of glass and plastic have nearly as big an impact on Tina as they do Clark Kent. Nice goin', two-eyes!  

Tina Fey's bum is not the sort of subject that would make for a heated debate at a frat party. It's not that exciting unless you attempt to do the research, then it's somewhat of a pleasant surprise. At least Tina's skilled in the ways of arching her back and she knows how to move it, which makes all the difference to fans of female fannies.

Here's another area on Tina's anatomical globe I wouldn't mind visiting for a month. Again, they may not be showstoppers, but if it was announced that Fey had a topless scene with Kermit in MUPPETS MOST WANTED, I would be heading to the theater at ludicrous speed, only out of sheer curiosity. We got a blink of a shadow of a glimpse at one of her little Tinas at the Golden Globes earlier this year, and we've been waiting for the full reveal ever since. What a tease.

Last week, when we put Imogen Poots to the test, I changed this category to "legs" because I felt it was more appropriate for that hottie. This time around, I feel the "fitness" category is only necessary. Unlike most hotties who, for the most part, began their careers with acting and/or modeling, Tina got into the business as a writer. This just tells me she probably didn't grow up obsessing with her appearance as much as others, until she started getting screen time, that is. There's no problem with that, but simply put, Tina's overall figure is pretty normal.

You'd be a fool to deny that Tina's career has gone incredibly well, especially with her recent Emmy win for "30 Rock". She's used her creative mind to take us on wacky adventures like MEAN GIRLS and BABY MAMA, both of which were successful comedies. Perhaps she should have steered clear of DATE NIGHT the same way general audiences steered clear of ADMISSION, but she's obviously made a smooth transition from the writers' room to the big screen right under our noses. 

I don't mean to completely switch gears here, but I'm not so crazy about Tina's brand of humor. While I admit she's obviously been very successful in the comedy biz, I'm quite certain Tina's never made me laugh out loud even once. I know, where's MY hit sitcom, right? That's just my 2 cents. However, due to her popularity as a personality figure, I suppose it's only sensible to give her a little extra credit. Here's a quote from her autobiography Bossypants: "I don’t get Hooters. Why do we need to enjoy chicken wings and boobies at the same time? Yes, they are a natural and beautiful part of the human experience. And so are boobies. But why at the same time?”  I don't understand, Tina. Why not?

Extra Tidbit: How would you have graded Fey, professor?

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3:47AM on 03/24/2014
I'd go with B+. There's one episode in 30 Rock (season 2, maybe) when Liz Lemon was in a sexy red dress when Floyd came back. Man, Tina Fey is smokin' hot!
I'd go with B+. There's one episode in 30 Rock (season 2, maybe) when Liz Lemon was in a sexy red dress when Floyd came back. Man, Tina Fey is smokin' hot!
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9:12PM on 03/23/2014
A chick with a pretty face and a seductive body may be cool and all, but a chick with a sense of humor who can make me laugh; that's f*cking grade-A sizzling hotness right there! Love Tina Fey!
A chick with a pretty face and a seductive body may be cool and all, but a chick with a sense of humor who can make me laugh; that's f*cking grade-A sizzling hotness right there! Love Tina Fey!
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4:27AM on 03/22/2014

Beautiful

I fucking love that scar. She gets an 'A' in the face department from me.
I fucking love that scar. She gets an 'A' in the face department from me.
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1:02PM on 03/21/2014
What makes her even sexier is that she doesn't quite seem to be aware how hot she is. That's attractive.
What makes her even sexier is that she doesn't quite seem to be aware how hot she is. That's attractive.
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12:40PM on 03/21/2014
I want wo marry Tina Fey! She's amazing!
I want wo marry Tina Fey! She's amazing!
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+1
12:01PM on 03/21/2014
I love Tina Fey. True she doesn't have the most flauntable boobs in the world, but her smarts and sense of humor make up for it. I'm surprised you didn't use the Hooters shirt pic for the Fitness category.
I love Tina Fey. True she doesn't have the most flauntable boobs in the world, but her smarts and sense of humor make up for it. I'm surprised you didn't use the Hooters shirt pic for the Fitness category.
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+2
11:30AM on 03/21/2014
I would've given an A for ass and face and an A+ for personality for her Palin impression alone!

Do Carla Gugino next!
I would've given an A for ass and face and an A+ for personality for her Palin impression alone!

Do Carla Gugino next!
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10:52AM on 03/21/2014

HOT

She is one a few MILF i truly love. When she wears those glasses, it's even hotter.
She is one a few MILF i truly love. When she wears those glasses, it's even hotter.
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+1
10:19AM on 03/21/2014
She's hilarious and incredibly sexy!
She's hilarious and incredibly sexy!
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+2
9:29AM on 03/21/2014
I don't know about anyone else, but I find her scar incredibly sexy.
I don't know about anyone else, but I find her scar incredibly sexy.
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9:16AM on 03/21/2014
"While I admit she's obviously been very successful in the comedy biz, I'm quite certain Tina's never made me laugh out loud even once"

I feel the same way about Seinfeld. In fact, that Hooters quote is classic Seinfeld style material.
"While I admit she's obviously been very successful in the comedy biz, I'm quite certain Tina's never made me laugh out loud even once"

I feel the same way about Seinfeld. In fact, that Hooters quote is classic Seinfeld style material.
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8:09AM on 03/21/2014
I'd say that's a pretty fair grading of Tina Fey although I actually prefer her without the glasses. Tina is definitely attractive but I wouldn't call her one of the hottest women in Hollywood.

Also, and I'll probably get downvoted for this, I find her frequent collaborator Amy Poehler to be hotter than Tina.
I'd say that's a pretty fair grading of Tina Fey although I actually prefer her without the glasses. Tina is definitely attractive but I wouldn't call her one of the hottest women in Hollywood.

Also, and I'll probably get downvoted for this, I find her frequent collaborator Amy Poehler to be hotter than Tina.
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4:23AM on 03/22/2014
I've always thought Amy Poehler was hot ever since I started watching Upright Citizens Brigade in the late 90's.
I've always thought Amy Poehler was hot ever since I started watching Upright Citizens Brigade in the late 90's.
8:08AM on 03/21/2014
When I say I would take Tina over most women half her age, you can take that to the bank. Incredibly hot in my opinion.
When I say I would take Tina over most women half her age, you can take that to the bank. Incredibly hot in my opinion.
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