The wind is awesome sometimes. Sure, once in a while it'll shift the tides or serve as an energy source, but mainly it's awesome for blowing up dresses. It doesn't happen often enough, but when the moment comes, it's nothing short of joyous. There wasn't much else to be enjoyed at the 2012 Teen Choice Awards, aside from the refreshing No Doubt performance. Other than that, it was another parade of bad dialogue mixed with terrible music and Twilight fans shattering glass everywhere in town with their obnoxious screaming. Seriously, if Taylor Lautner ever goes to an aquarium, it'll be like a horror movie. Anyway, since there isn't much of value to be discussed on the subject of Teen Choice (or as I call it, Kids Choice Part Duex), let's discuss the hotties who were present for the awfulness.
There are a lot to get through, so bare with me. First we have the host of the evening, Demi Lovato. I'm not sure if she was chosen as the host or if she just drew the shortest straw of the Disney chicks. Whatever kind of ancient Egyptian dress that is, it isn't hiding her boob very well (no complaints on my end). Next is Taylor Swift, who I gotta say is looking a lot sexier as she gets older. I knew some time passing would help me get over her chipmunk face and long, dangly body. Her posture is much better now, and she seems sophisticated, almost in a Charleze Theron kind of way. Selena Gomez celebrated her 20th birthday, pretending to blow out sparklers on stage. Yea, that's safe. My favorite of the evening was the darling Hayden Panetierre, who looks more stunning than ever. I would chalk that up to her gorgeous blonde hair finally reaching past her shoulders again. It's great to see it return. The wind was really taking a toll on Victoria Justice's dress, trying with all it's might to rip that thing right off of her (with no success, unfortunately). It did, however, successfully get Francia Raisa to grab her crotch to keep her funny business private. Then to round it out we've got Nina Dobrev, Lea Michele, Ariana Grande (whom the wind freakin' annihilates), Joanna JoJo Levesque, Kat Graham, and of course Kristen Stewart, who came in through the back sporting tight, black leather pants (Yes! They're catching on!). Is that all?... Oh no, then there's performer Carly Rae Jaspen (whom I've never heard of, but she has a nice ass, so there you go), Lucy Hale, Shay Mitchell, Ashley Benson, and who better to finish with than Ellen's hot girlfriend herself, Portia de Rossi. That would be one hell of a sex-tape to come across. Weird.
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