Well, Halloween is just about two weeks away, which means it's almost time for trick-or-treating, drunken bobbing for apples, and lots and lots of slutty-for-the-sake-of-being-slutty costumes. There's no wonder it's becoming the second most economically viable holiday of the year. Costume sales alone are reaching new heights every Halloween, with no sign of dropping anytime soon. The designers of said costumes have to spend back-breaking hours trying to come up with the next big thing. What we have here are the latest, more shitty designs for "sexy Halloween costumes". At least that's the opinion of the writers for Yahoo.com. Let's see how awful these ideas really are...
SEXY BERT AND ERNIEApparently, when "Sesame Street" comes a knockin', the Sexy Costumes Bureau answers, and lends them a helping hand. There's a whole lot of hoopla going on in the presidential debates about Big Bird, for some reason. All that says to me is that this could wind up being a popular costume amongst young voters. Yahoo's argument: "Between the the first presidential debate and now this sad lapse in good taste, Sesame Street has become, shall we say, overexposed." Yeah, tell that to my boner. (Costumes sold exlusively at Yandy.com).
Ursula certainly isn't the first fish-lady I'd like to spend some time under the sea with, but this variation of her may change my outlook on THE LITTLE MERMAID's nemesis. Ariel herself is a better way to go if you're looking for a surefire way to drop some jaws. But if you're looking to be more original, and less likely to bump into a living mirror image of yourself at the party, this octopussy can help you out. Yahoo's argument: "Disney's Sea Witch has been super slimmed, sending the message only skinny is sexy". That argument is worse than the presidential Big Bird defense.
SEXY HAMBURGER AND SEXY CORN
If you're getting the idea that these costumes are anti-obesity, think again. I would be willing to bet this Big Mac will be worn by significant others alongside the Hamburglar. If not, I will be filled with embarrassment and shame. Whoever sports that outfit is just begging someone to shout "nice buns". And if you're vegan, you can wear the corniest costume at the party, and literally go as corn. Find two ladies with these matching costumes, and you've got yourself one sexy Barbie-Q. (Costumes sold exclusively at Yandy.com).
One should avoid bad-smelling areas if they intend to dress in this "sexy skunk" costume. Otherwise, you may be falsely accused of stinking up the party. Yahoo's argument: "Granted, the little forest critters are cute, but when is the last time you heard about anybody wanting to snuggle up to a skunk?". Tell you what, find me some nose plugs and I would totally hit that.
This one... actually isn't bad at all. Possibly the hottest of the bunch. Sure, typically you think of Chucky as this terrifying, scarred-up psychopath. But take it from someone who's dressed up as Chucky before, it's hard to pull off that costume without looking super adorable. Yahoo's argument: "The ad copy reads, 'Any trouble—bite his head off!' Scary, not sexy." Yeah, I think I can handle it.
Go ahead and strike back if you find yourself either offended or enlightened by any of these, and if you so desire you can check out the rest of Yahoo's "worst" sexy costumes here.