I had a debate not just the other day with a friend of mine and you have to understand that we're both pretty screwed up individuals with dirty minds, so the question came down to whether we'd do the "fat" Jessica Simpson
or the pre-nose job sister Ashlee Simpson instead. Some ground rules needed to be laid out. Was Ashlee going to attempt to lip sync the wrong moans during the f*ckery? Was going down on Jessica required and if so, was it before or after she'd done a stage work-out in her mom jeans? Did it mean that we had to say that by proxy we'd f*cked John Mayer or Pete Wentz?
In the end, I still had to go with Jessica because she's just always had the better rack, but man... I love my weird ass friends. How else would I know just how gross I'm willing to be for the sake of approximating something that will never happen?
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