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Jess Scores #1

Sep. 18, 2008by: Cherry Liquor

Take that, all you haters. Jessica Simpson officially has the number one selling country album right now. It placed 4th in the overall Billboard rankings, with James & Lars crypt keepering Metallica to the number one spot. I wouldn't buy either one of their albums as I'm not in the right market to be interested in them. But that thought gives me pause. Isn't it the same market? Testosterone driven redneck males driving V8's with a metal pair of balls hanging from their trailer hitch when not hauling whatever it is that those Pabst-swilling douchebags haul? It takes years to understand why Metallica didn't win the first "Heavy Metal" Grammy, but it's finally sunken in. What was I talking about again? Oh... Jessica's got great tits. There. My job is done.
Source: Reuters

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7:54PM on 09/18/2008
Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't dim-witted blondes in cowboy boots, blue jeans & cleavage-heavy shirts what country fans want?

She's the perfect fit for that "good-ole-boy" music. They're likely just pissed because she started out as a pop star or they secretly love her, but are afraid to admit it to their friends.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't dim-witted blondes in cowboy boots, blue jeans & cleavage-heavy shirts what country fans want?

She's the perfect fit for that "good-ole-boy" music. They're likely just pissed because she started out as a pop star or they secretly love her, but are afraid to admit it to their friends.
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2:18PM on 09/18/2008

Loves it in the pooper

Perez Hilton was on Howard Stern the other day talking about a weird incident where he made out with Jon Mayer with Jessica right there. He went on to say that Mayer's friends told him of Jon's kinky exploits and that Jess loves getting her poo pushed.
Perez Hilton was on Howard Stern the other day talking about a weird incident where he made out with Jon Mayer with Jessica right there. He went on to say that Mayer's friends told him of Jon's kinky exploits and that Jess loves getting her poo pushed.
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1:39PM on 09/18/2008

ugh

she's never done anything for me
she's never done anything for me
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10:58AM on 09/18/2008
She's like number six on the list of things I could care less about.
She's like number six on the list of things I could care less about.
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