I don't even know what to say now. I had everything… I was so prepared. After working out for a few days, I was really on the road to becoming a buff stud capable of opening any jar that came across my path. I started buying different varieties of cologne ranging from Axe Body Spray to Old Spice Body Spray. I got a haircut at Walmart and shined my Converse with my spit so I could look extra spiffy…and all of it was in vain. Yes, my friends. After months of speculation and rumors, it appears that the love of my life, Kate Upton, has gone public with her relationship to Maksim Chmerkovskiy. In case you're wondering, his name is Latin for, "Hey, I suck! F*ck you, ResidentRiddle64." I don't know why he has to be so personal with this, but I'm happy for you Kate. I hope Maksim makes you very happy and if you ever need anything, you probably have no idea where to find me. Anyway, take a look at the happy couple below. I'm gonna go sit in the corner for a few hours.
Click on each photo to enlarge!