I don't know who gets invited to these things, much less where they even happen, but why am I never there? The David Yurman Annual Rooftop Soiree is EXACTLY my style and the fact that in my 23 years of life, I've never even gotten an invite. While rich people, gentlemen and some little brat girl are all having a blast and a half with Kate Upton, I'm here with my roommate in my apartment. We have punch, pizza, potato chips and soda and we even had those video game guys come. That's right; we're paying them $50 an hour to bring their virtual reality video game headsets to the party and no one's even here. The f*ck? I'm really starting to get a little upset and the more Kate doesn't show up, the more pessimistic I'm becoming. Wait…maybe her invitation got lost in the mail. Yeah, that's it. I 'aint even mad.
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