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Kate Upton washes a Mercedes in the most disappointing way ever

01.23.2013by: Salacious Crumb

If you thought that Kate Upton, the queen of all things jiggly, could do no wrong, you haven't seen this commercial she did for the new Mercedes Benz CLA, which is expected to air during the Superbowl. The opening message at the beginning of the video states "Kate Upton Washes the All-New Mercedes-Benz CLA... in Slow Motion", and it is one of the single most misleading moments in advertising since Red Bull claimed to give you wings (class-action lawsuit, here I come!). Seriously though, as much as I love me some Upton, this video kinda blows. Not only does it not show Upton in a bikini, getting wet and soapy, or drinking from a garden hose… Kate doesn't even wash the damn vehicle! What a wasted opportunity. See for yourself…

In even further depressing news, Kate is apparently no longer single, which might explain the lack of jigglage in the video above. She's reportedly been spotted a few times with Justin Verlander, who pitches for the Detroit Tigers. Yup, another goddamn athlete. Why do all these gorgeous women with practically their whole lives ahead of them jump at dudes who were probably giant douches in high school, and still play the same stupid game over a decade later? Why aren't they lining up to date, I don't know, the doctor who saved the most lives in their home state last year? Instead they line up for they guy who can throw a ball really super duper fast!… Oh well, despite my grief, I forgive Kate anyway. Here are a few reasons why...

CLICK IMAGE TO OPEN GALLERY & SEE MORE PICS...

Source: Hollywood Tuna

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5:08PM on 01/23/2013
boring and tame.
boring and tame.
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