Sit on ol' ResidentRiddle64's lap, kids and I'll tell you a story.
A long, long time ago, 2008 to be exact, I was at the Van's Warped Tour in my college town and everything was as it always is at those concerts: everyone was high, sweaty and sunburned. It was f*cking horrible. Anyway, as I was walking around pissed off and annoyed, I hear a woman singing, not very well, a few yards away. Her audience consisted of about 20 people just standing there while this poor girl was giving it everything she had trying to get anything out of them. I observed for a few moments before shrugging it off and going to the Monster truck for free energy drinks to further my chances at diabetes. A few months later, I see this pretty girl on television singing I Kissed A Girl. Goddamn it.
The moral of the story is if you ever see anyone pretty, go to them. Sniff their hair, lick their fingers, jump on them if you can because you never know if they'll be famous one day. Katy Perry was there that day. She was in my sights. I SAW her and I did nothing. And now, I live with your cynical grandmother who looks nothing like Katy Perry. Now get off my lap, you damn whippersnapper. I gotta take my meeds to forget all this.
Oh, and here are some pictures of Katy Perry in September's issue of Elle U.K. She looks super hot, right? Yup.
Click on each photo to enlarge!