Some days I can't help but imagine what it's like to be Kelly Brook, a woman who's internationally famous for being outrageously hot. On the average day, I'd walk out of my home in London to a camped-out camera crew snapping photos of me again. Then I'd get in my vehicle and drive on over to ITV Studios, and step out of my car only to be ambushed by more photo-snapping ninjas. Then I'd probably listen to Keith Lemon's bad jokes all day while he makes sure to get close-up shots of my cleavage. I wouldn't be able to get any privacy at the beach, the ice-cream store, or even while f*cking jogging. Still, I would keep a smile on my face, because I would be well aware that I've been blessed with this gorgeous body. Once I got home, I'd put on some music, have a glass of wine and take a good look in the mirror. Then I'd begin to undress very, very slowly, before doing a little dance to entertain myself. That's when Kate Beckinsale would open the bathroom door, and lure me into the shower with her…. Oh, shit. Did I type all of that out loud? Uhm, I need to go somewhere for a few minutes… in private.
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