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08.22.2012by: Cherry Liquor

The Sexy Ten Spot: Babes on Bikes

You know what gives me a PREMIUM RUSH? Seeing JGL on a bike with his awesome buttocks off the seat, legs pumping away furiously, muscles glistening with sweat from outrunning Michael Shannon. Although babes on bikes are just as tasty, don'tcha think?

10 - Kristen Bell

Bitchin' bike. She's constantly on it. Flips off the paparazzi when they tail her on it. Kristen Bell is the sprocket that runs the chain which kick starts my heart. She doesn't try to look hot when she's riding. It's the fact that she regularly rides and is a ecological charity mouthpiece, putting her promises where that puss is that makes her a bike babe.

9 - Miley Cyrus

She's young enough that she should be riding a bike as a main source of transportation, but rich little Miley Cyrus seems more interested in tooling around on a bike because it's fun. She's frequently spotted in her home city of Taluca Lake riding her bike to get around, including that time she wore a dress while riding and ended up with the pervvy paps sneaking shots up her dress. Hopefully she doesn't cut out the bike riding like she cut off her hair.

8 - Julianne Hough

I have mad love for Julianne Hough. I get the impression that this is a woman who doesn't bother screwing around with being in the gym. She does squats, lunges and pushups on the beach, in the ocean, while in a bikini. She jumps off of boats as Gaycrest's beard, rides jet skis like a maniac and frequently uses a bike to travel around whichever city she's filming her latest movie role in. She's FIT. That's HOT.

7 - Gemma Atkinson

A former "Hollyoaks" UK soap star who has been recently making small budget movies, there's no special reason that you should know who Gemma Atkinson is. Do yourselves a favor and google up some of her lingerie modeling pics. She'll make you want to be that bike she's straddling.

6 - Jessica Biel

Jessica Biel took to the streets on a bike, fully decked out in proper sweat-wicking cycling gear when she was working out with her sweetie, Justin Timberlake. She did this without makeup, for the purpose intended (getting fresh air exercise) and she still looks pretty damn flawless. The only pity is the bike seat getting on that great ass action.

5 - Kelly Brook

Kelly Brook has been hired to pimp Sky Ride, so I can't place her higher on the list simply because she's Kelly Brook and therefore hotter than most women who spread their legs to put metal between them. I am ranking her as high as I can justify because I've never seen her ride a bike outside of posing on them for a paycheck.

4 - Sara Jean Underwood

Think whatever you want about Sara Jean Underwood, but when she rode a bike in the buff (well, with pasties on, but close enough) for the World Naked Bike Ride in Portland, Oregon. Funny how one of the states with the most dismal year-round weather is where they held this thing to prove that cyclists aren't protected by the 3K pounds of steel that a car affords you. Share the road. Just don't swerve into a ditch when you see SJU.

3 - Zooey Deschanel

She's cute and has moments where you are dying to rip her clothes off and see all the milky white goodness of her skin under the hipster clothing with their excessive use of fabric. I don't see many action pics of Zooey riding bikes but when I found these pics, I knew that her cute little alabaster tummy and red beach cruiser needed to be high on this list.

2 - Heather Graham

She might be better known for transporting her tight little figure around on roller skates, but damned if Heather Graham doesn't look just as good on two wheels as she did on 8. Sure, there's less nudity involved with this type of ride, but there's still something powerfully masterful between her legs.

1 - Coco

Don't ask me why. I don't have a good enough reason to satisfy myself, let alone the lot of you. I just know that I've become infatuated with Coco. Ice T isn't the only one who can appreciate this overblown Barbie. I love that she takes on anything, has the determination to conquer it and takes the slings and arrows that the haters throw at her with remarkable aplomb. She's number one, baby.

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+0
10:44AM on 10/17/2012

Terrible number one.

Please replace with Winona Ryder on her bicycle.
Please replace with Winona Ryder on her bicycle.
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+6
6:25PM on 08/22/2012
Great list until number one. Coco is just no.
Great list until number one. Coco is just no.
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+0
4:35PM on 08/22/2012

Riding a bike as Summer Finn

Her riding her bike in "(500) Days of Summer" was enough to have my fingers crossed with her making this list.
Her riding her bike in "(500) Days of Summer" was enough to have my fingers crossed with her making this list.
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+7
11:25AM on 08/22/2012
Not a COCO nut , but Miley , Gemma , Julianne , and Heather Graham were born to ride a bike !! NICE !!
Not a COCO nut , but Miley , Gemma , Julianne , and Heather Graham were born to ride a bike !! NICE !!
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9:27AM on 08/22/2012
Ewwww!!!...She's a definite hell no....And Theorendil said it wonderfully.

Also, you should not have a pic of that woman as the headline pic.
Ewwww!!!...She's a definite hell no....And Theorendil said it wonderfully.

Also, you should not have a pic of that woman as the headline pic.
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3:52AM on 08/22/2012

Number one, WTF?

Seriously? THAT'S your number one choice? I know she has large boobs, but what do they make you blind to everything else? Just look at her face, saying that she looks like a drag queen, would be an insult to drag queens. And did you see the cellulite on her ass and thighs? Eeeew, seriously, eeew. That thing doesn't belong anywhere near this column.
Seriously? THAT'S your number one choice? I know she has large boobs, but what do they make you blind to everything else? Just look at her face, saying that she looks like a drag queen, would be an insult to drag queens. And did you see the cellulite on her ass and thighs? Eeeew, seriously, eeew. That thing doesn't belong anywhere near this column.
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