The Sexy Ten Spot: Hottest Potential Expendababes
I already know that you're going to be pissed at me for the selections that are NOT on this list of hottest potential Expendababes. I know you're all fans of the action chicks who have been around forever and I'm not saying that they shouldn't qualify, I'm just saying that this is a tough world for women of age. They can't come back to the screen like Sly and the boys did. The hardened wrinkles don't sell if they're on a woman. So if this was a column on all of the hottest female action heroes who could ever have been in a movie together if they were offered the opportunity at their prime, then sure... there'd be some cougars in the pack. For the time being, however, this is my realistic female action hero EXPENDABABES flick.
Just enough crazy left in her to be the whacked out Expendababe looking to make easy bucks. I definitely have a hard time believing she's as tough as she was when she was younger - the skeletor body and whole humanitarian/mom thing distract from her action ranking for me. But she's still got enough kick in her to give it one more go.
Personally, it's been hard for me to take Milla seriously as an action star but I understand that there are a ton of people who prefer her this way. As Alice, as Ultra-Violet (I prefer UV over the RE series, imho) as Leeloo Dallas Multipass. She's a face that you expect to see in the mix. She's a powerful ingredient that should be used with the most sparing of touches.
Redheaded, built like sleek Mack Truck of femininity (that's probably not sounding right because I'm bad when it comes to car analogies) and looks good bloody. In fact, has the glint in her eye that screams at you that she's ready to fight, get bloody and if you don't move, you're her first target.
Some of the best fight scenes that I love watching from recent years include the ass-kicking that Maggie Q does in LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD. I understand that it would be easier for me to get you all happier if I had Michelle Yeoh on the list instead, but as I pointed out in the beginning - nostalgia sells better when it's dudes. You put Maggie on the lead and add Michelle for a smaller, more potent role. Following along?
Haven't seen her on "Chuck," the show where she got to show off just how sexy/strong she was as a spy but I really don't need to. I'm not just adding Strahovski to the stew because she looks good. I'm adding her because there's always got to be a Dolph.
I love my Michelle. There's a reason why they were never going to let Letty have the FAST & FURIOUS ending that they'd dangled in front of the franchise's fans. Rodriguez is believably tough and has a hard-edged beauty which makes her positively irresistible.
In frank honesty, I kinda hate that I have Summer Glau on this list. I think she's perfect for an action movie of the caliber of toughest action babes ever, but she also seems to kill pretty much every project that she gets cast in. Love that she needs to be in this movie, hate that she's seemingly jinxed when it comes to success.
I love the way Jessica Biel occasionally gets ragged on by the haters for having too "mannish" of a look because it's when she's buffed up and badass that I like her the best. There's a reason why Kate Beckinsale was the pretty face in the TOTAL RECALL reboot. Because Jess is tougher, rougher and more Expendababeable.
I've loved her for so long, I didn't even know it. Getting her start as the stunt-double for Lucy Lawless on "Xena: Warrior Princess" and then being Uma's double in KILL BILL (so don't start bitching about why Uma's not on the list.... Zoe did all the heavy lifting) and of course creating her own groove with BITCH SLAP, ANGEL OF DEATH and WHIP IT, I tweeted it before and I'll write it here again: I'd donate organs to orphans to make a Zoe vs my #1 on this list happen.
Duh. She actually can fight and she looks incredible doing it, as proven in HAYWIRE. I don't think it would be possible to make a female EXPENDABLES in these current days without Gina Carano in it. Just couldn't - and SHOULDN'T - happen.