The Sexy Ten Spot: Hottest Royalty
As "The Game of Thrones" goes on hiatus and we get to delve into the poor substitute for power struggles and moral depravities that is "True Blood," it came to me... while it's fantastic to have a woman bow to your power and be your sex slave, it's far more exciting to have a woman who has the power to rule you. Therefore, let's look at the best of the royal chicks who can do just that.
She might not have been a crown holder, but Kelly Hu as Cassandra the Sorceress in THE SCORPION KING certainly looked regal enough. We can't go back in time to get her a special royal post just like we can't get most people to agree that that movie was a heaping plateful of silly fun, but I and stop and give her the special mention here that she deserves.
I'm actually not sure if Andromeda is a princess or a queen in WRATH OF THE TITANS because after the steaming pile that was the first movie, I decided to watch until it was available to watch at home. Rosamund Pike getting added to the cast, looking feisty as she battled alongside Perseus, was a great idea. Mainly because she's one of those underrated hotties these days who needs these higher profile roles but also because she's not a withering rose by some other name.
Whether you call her Padme or Queen Amidala, Natalie Portman in that white battle garb from ATTACK OF THE CLONES helped to elevate that character from a barely legal piece of royal ass to a worthy corrupter of the Jedi ways of Anakin Skywalker. At least if I'm to judge from the amount of deviant art, anime XXX-rated images that you can Google on the character, I'd say so.
Natalie Portman was the iconic butt image from YOUR HIGHNESS, but it was the virginal Zooey Deschanel, rescued from the tower by James Franco's dashing Fabious, who had regal lineage. I think. I recall being excited to watch that movie in the theater, being titillated that it was the first time that the otherwise prim and conservative hipster chick was showing some cleavage and skin, then forgetting most of it because it wasn't as great as it was hyped out to be. With the name Belladonna though, you know she's got to be good.
While I might consider to be a bigger fan of the original version of the television series "V," Jane Badler as Diana couldn't hold a light to Morena Baccarin as Queen Anna in the 2009 update. With her closely cropped hair and inhumanly dramatic round eyes, Baccarin looked alien in the most sexy and exotic of ways. I dare you to look away from her. No, seriously, just try. It'd be cool to watch her rip your throat out when you did.
Another one of those movies from the onslaught of films in the mid-2000's that wanted to tell sweeping epic historical stories, KINGDOM OF HEAVEN gave us the shining Eva Green as Princess Sibylla. One of the few times where Green didn't look doped up or crazy out of her mind and instead was given the loving affection of a great art director who helped guide the camera to make love to her stunning face. Who wouldn't want those eyes to be burned into history forever?
I haven't watched ALEXANDER. I'm scared of lengthy movies with twisted Oliver Stone factoids that center around a blonde Colin Ferrell. However, when you factor in that it's the movie in which we get to watch the pendulous breast motions of Rosario Dawson, you kinda forget ever having any principles when it comes to what's watchable and you start looking up screen caps.
There's a lot of royal characters going on in the endless parade of incest, power struggles and drunken imps on "Game of Thrones," but for me (someone who's only watched the first season, mind you), the one who stood out the most was Emilia Clarke, the young Daenerys Targaryen who becomes the Khaleesi and later rises as the true and rightful Dragon Princess. The fact that she so readily gets naked helps her campaign, of course.
It's not just for nostalgia's sake that I have Carrie Fisher's Princess Leia so high on the list of hottest royal characters. It's because she was physically hot (don't believe it? Then write me a dissertation on why so many women are still wearing the Leia Slave costume at all the conventions) but also because she was one of those princess characters who had her own mind, kicked ass on her own and has remained an icon for over 30 years.
Being that she had such a fabulously campy time screaming her head off about her desire to eat the heart of Kristen Stewart's Snow White (and really, who wouldn't?) as well as creating the sympathy that most actresses can't bring to playing the bad girl, Charlize Theron as Queen Ravenna in SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN is destined to always stay high on my list of favorite royal characters. And just badass bitch character list as well.
Most of you choose to remember Heath Ledger as having only been The Joker, but the dude did a ton of stuff, including the mostly forgettable THE BROTHERS GRIMM. What was there to look forward to in that? A supremely sexy, amped up villainess of a queen as played by one of the world's naturally regal women, Italian sensation Monica Bellucci. Haven't seen the movie? You've got more than a couple reasons to watch it now.