The Top 12 Babes of Christmas Movies
Christmas movies, we all watch them. Whether it's for the music or the giving spirit or just to have something to watch so that you don't have to directly communicate with your family during the holiday, it doesn't matter. Everyone loves a good Christmas movie. On the same note, everyone loves a hot babe. Hot babes IN a Christmas movie? Double score!!
In the 1980's, the ultimate girl created from the brains of a couple of sexed-up monkeys was Lisa from WEIRD SCIENCE. Flip into the 1990's and you get the sweet, tender, smart and clever Sally, a prisoner of her equally monkey headed creator. Sally has the mettle (and detachable limbs) to get herself out of numerous jams, not to mention the pipes it takes to sell some of the most memorable Christmas music of all time. Plus, I love me some redheads.
This is one pouty, grumpy, sad and otherwise non-seasonal girl right here. Cates' Kate has to work 2 jobs, gets beaten up by demonic little creatures and has a skeleton in her chimney that's straight up ruining Christmas... if it wasn't a classic creature holiday feature from Joe Dante. I'd be fairly pissed off too, if I had all that crap in my life as well as weather too cold for me to daydreamily strip out of a bikini in. (Even with all that, she's still totally hot, though.)
I'm going out on a limb in admitting this to a crowd who will most likely castigate me for saying it but I don't really like this installment of the VACATION movies. They changed Rusty and Audrey a third time (although the young, bleached blonde Juliette Lewis in one of her first roles as the new Audrey is a good trivia answer) and gave more screen time to Cousin Eddie but took away the incestual quirk that originated in the beginning of the series. The only constant? The sultry hotness and heartwarming loyalty of family MILFiarch, Beverly D'Angelo.
Let's see here... all of the babes in this image (Kristen Cloke, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Michelle Trachtenberg and Katie Cassidy) don't even break the thin layer of crappy remake icing. There's also the lovely yuletide lumps of Lacey Chabert, Crystal Lowe, Jessica Harmon and who knows how many other good looking faces in the sorority extras circle. This is a movie to laugh at and maybe jerk off to if you're that kind of Christmas deviant. Go ahead, Santa won't count it against you.
I adore this movie for its gentle and yet brute brilliance, the opportunity that it gave Colin Farrell to shine after he'd fallen on drunken and drugged up hard times and its gorgeous art direction set in a postcard picture perfect locale, I also dig the fact that the holiday timed movie gave Farrell the gorgeous French Clemence Poesy to frolic with.
I like Kidman when she's being an uptight bitch. I especially like it when that bitch is tearing Tom Cruise a new asshole and getting all nudey-patooty for the camera. Did all of you forget that Kubrick's final cinematic gift to the world was about more than just orgies and hard-to-follow plot lines? Yeah, this is a Christmas flick, as evidenced by all the characters taking the time to despise one another in moderate increments.
Before she gets licked into a rubber suit, Michelle Pfeiffer's Selina Kyle just wanted to be paid some attention. There was such charm to her geekiness in the beginning of the Tim Burton Christmas Batman. Sure, it was awesome when she started doing cartwheels in heels but she's so easy to relate to as the frumpy gal who simply wants some human connection.
In one of the more modern tales of Christmas love, devotion and whatnot, Keira Knightley may have been one of the most obnoxious characters in the cast but damned if she wasn't at the height of hottest...ness. Oh, and the guy at the door who shows her all those cue cards? That's Sheriff Rick from "The Walking Dead," back when he was a pussy for entirely different reasons.
Who doesn't love a movie set in World War 1, with Germans and Frenchmen and Scottish peeps hanging together in snow and blood and death? OK, who doesn't love a movie with the lovely Diane Kruger dressed in retro garb, singing her pretty blonde heart out? That's better...
Up until she climbed into bed with Angelina's ex and tickled every man's South Pole with her screams of noel naughtiness, Lauren Graham had mainly been known for her squeaky clean role on "Gilmore Girls." Funny how one movie featuring you boinking a dude in a red suit can change people's perspectives of you forever.
You could think of KISS KISS BANG BANG as the movie that got RDJ back on his indie cred leading to big box office road. You could think of it as the very last time that Val Kilmer was remotely attractive. You could even think of it as the movie where the lovely Shannyn Sossamon has a bit role. Ultimately, however, the movie is totally awesome for its usage of Michelle Monaghan in that infamous Santa dress.
The movie is supposed to be about a guy learning to be decent to other individuals, all centered around the holiday time frame, including scenes of a dirty and disheveled Dan Aykroyd in a Santa suit. But let's cut through the bullshit and admit that this movie is known and beloved for precisely two things: Jamie Lee Curtis' former teen scream queen's virginal breasts getting bared. And to all a good, good, good damn night.