The Top Ten Hottest Movie Cops
With the reboot of ROBOCOP
hitting the theaters next week, with its upgrades in tactical goodness (now in black!) and added good looking charm (Weller is still close to my heart but Kinnaman is closer to my loins), I thought it might be a good time to look over some of the hotter female cops (and FBI and DEA and whatever - give a girl a break on the semantics here) who have graces the silver screen over the years. I might be missing a few (hell, a few dozen or more) but this is what my mind wandered to when pressed to narrow it down to just ten.
It was hard to sit through PIRANHA 3D... not just because I'd attended convention panels where I got to listen to the amazing Joe Dante talk about being marginalized in the world of Hollywood and not just because I had to wait so long to see the Kelly Brook nude scene and not just because of Jerry O'Connell's severed wiener but because it was the movie which started the whole trend of Lizzie Shue as a mom to teenagers. Yes, she's old enough to be but damn. Hot mom, hot cop, hot former 80's teen icon.
While Graham Norton
wasn't able to figure out how to label the mega fans of Kim Cattrall, it remains that there are a group of us who still don't mind all the SEX AND THE CITY stuff so long as we have that wonderful trove of 1980's Kim Cattrall movies to delve into as a reprieve. Sure, there's BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA, MANNEQUIN and her infamous PORKY'S moment, but I think it was her turn as Cadet Thompson in the original POLICE ACADEMY that reminds me of how sexy (and oddly invoking of my childhood) she always will be.
What is it about having Carla Gugino in a crappy movie where her co-star is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson that makes her look even more sumptuous? It happened when she was in that horrible retread of RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN in 2009 and then again in FASTER, where Johnson wasn't trying to be as family friendly and Carla wasn't trying to be as nice. I could watch this woman read the phone book and I'd be happy... just so long as Dwayne didn't have to come along for that ride as well.
Back in a time when she wasn't just the adoption-happy UN Ambassador type or the husband stealing evil woman that chick mags try to make her out to be, Angelina Jolie was putting in her dues in a litany of different roles, including that of Amelia Donaghy, a cop who was working to solve some murders while pouting those famous lips in a way that hasn't been duplicated since. I miss the Angelina of the 1990's, which might be why I keep harping on her roles from then. Sue me.
Paula Patton seducing Denzel Washington is something that should happen in every other movie released. She was sweet and tender with the man in DEJA VU but toughened up her babeness for her turn in 2 GUNS, where she fluidly moved from taking off her clothes in the bedroom to taking your breath away with a firearm. Why does Alan Thicke's son get to be so lucky?
One of many beautiful faces in the rather ill-received at the box office film S.W.A.T., Rodriguez was just beginning to stake a bit of a claim to Hollywood that wasn't associated with her being an arm attachment to some other bigger male Hollywood name. It might have been easier for her to be a hot female cop in a movie where she was pretty much the only female in contention, but this is my M-Rod we're talking about. She's always going to be a babe to me.
While I couldn't have been more excited than I was at the end of FAST FIVE when Eva Mendes' Monica Fuentes made her high heeled strut back into the franchise, I think it was in her earlier days, before gaining more fame, in that white bikini that made my license to lust a bit more luda... yeah. Eva's never been hotter than when she was hoodwinking a ridiculously dressed/ethnicized Cole Hauser.
You want to laugh at me for enjoying some Jackie Chan movies, go right ahead. Especially when they feature the normally serious Michelle Yeoh in a cop uniform, wielding a gun and kicking ass. This wasn't Yeoh's first time at the cop rodeo - if you get a chance, check her out in 1985's YES, MADAM! with the legendary Cynthia Rothrock... if you can find it.
Sandy's played a lot of law enforcement characters over the years, not always to the most flattering extent. But never did she do it as well as she did for 1993's DEMOLITION MAN. I can't decide what was hottest about this San Angeles cop - the stupid thin drawn-in eyebrows, the constant misuse of terms from a long-gone era or the fact that she considered boning Stallone an honor. I just know I love me some Lenina Huxley.
I can't say that I have a great reason for placing Karen Sisco at the number one spot other than the movie was based on one of my favorite Elmore Leonard novels, it motivated the television industry to try and get a female cop show going with the awesome Carla Gugino, it was made during the time that George Clooney still had that older man appeal to me and well... did Jennifer Lopez ever really get any hotter in her heyday than in this flick? I think not. Therefore, this might be the only number one spot she gets from me. Shut up, get in the trunk and take it.