The Top Ten Hottest Greek Mythology Movie Babes
I'm going to take some liberties with the top ten this week, just as I suspect The Rock's latest smash 'em up action flick, HERCULES
will. Frankly, I suspect that the film will be this summer's biggest bomb (a fairly impressive feat after McFarlane's A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST tanked so spectacularly, leading me to hoping that everyone else is finally finding him as unfunny as I do) but hey, Johnson's surprised us before. And there's nothing more impressive than a surprising Johnson.
In 1995, Woody Allen's career and personal reputation were swimming through the shit storm of Mia Farrow's accusations so MIGHTY APHRODITE got a relatively small release and without the lusty (and busty) performance of Mira Sorvino as the porn actress slash prostitute with the obnoxious voice and the huge heart (which went on to win Sorvino a Best Supporting Actress Oscar), the film would have flopped spectacularly. Instead, MA is one of my all-time favorite Allen films.
I am a big fan of Lena Headey's. Sure, she was super badass in 300 and I haven't grown daft enough to have forgotten the opening weekend audience's gleeful reaction when she declared that she wasn't Theron's queen. It's just that after so many roles and her colorful off camera personality (and those tattoos!), I'm kinda in lesbians with her.
Call me a sucker but I've always been a fan of Andromeda. Whether she's a bit daft and getting strapped to a rock for Cetus to gobble up or gets to fight her ass off as Pike's version in WRATH OF THE TITANS did, Andie floats my boat. I'd say she's more beautiful than Maggie Smith but we all know how vengeful that bitch can be.
I probably would have scored Freida higher on this list if she hadn't've been so wooden in an all-around pretty terrible movie. Sure, IMMORTALS is sorta one of those so-bad-it's-funny type of movies but all that wretchedness distracted me from Pinto portraying Phaedra, that doomed hottie of lore.
She's not higher on this list because A) she doesn't get naked in either of the PERCY JACKSON movies and B) her character of Annabeth, daughter of Athena, is supposed to be a teenager, so that's kinda creepy. But the PJ films are where I first started paying attention to Daddario because I don't actively search out horror movies.
Rosario has been fine in a lot of project and while there's really nothing hotter than her dancing around in CLERKS 2 with her boobs bouncing about in that tank top, there's also nothing quite like the mind bogglingly hot bared boob scene
in ALEXANDER. If they ever compile a list of the legendary moment in cinema, this is surely on that list.
There are so many ways that the reboot of CLASH OF THE TITANS could have been less awful but the number one way that its suckiness could have been forgiven would have been to feature Arterton in some dimension of nude. Instead we get a lot of the egotistical gods fighting and Worthington sucking at trying to not have an Aussie accent. One of the best examples of old school stop-motion animation slaying the CGI beast.
The 1980's were that special time in history when you could have bare breasts featured frequently in a film and still gather a PG rating if there wasn't any cursing (and if the nudity made even minimal sense to the plot). It's why so many of us still prefer the original CLASH OF THE TITANS over the reboot. Between Perseus' mom breast feeding him and the gorgeous Bowker getting bathed by her servants (a scene which filled the child me with wonder, imagining being so rich and powerful and beautiful that I didn't even have to wash my own fabulous body), flashing ass crack and side boob galore, COTT'81 is that cheeseball masterpiece for eternity.
Man, I really miss old school Angie. I realize this every time I start to compile a top ten list. Doesn't matter what subject I've selected, chances are Jolie's taken on a role in that category at some point. And back in 2004 she was still so insanely smokin' that a legion of men wished that they could have had her for a mom - and would've had no problem being seduced by her.
I could have gone with any of the other babes on this list for the top spot, I honestly believe I could. That's what makes coming up with a top ten so hard - all of the contestants are hot. But Helen's the lady who launched a thousand ships and TROY was the movie which introduced the stunning German actress Diane Kruger filmgoers, who all easily bought into her being the most beautiful chick in history.