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12.16.2013by: Droz

Top 10 Celebrity Train Wrecks of 2013

It was a banner year for celebrities making asses out of themselves or just outright crashing and burning. It's a phenomenon we will surely see more of in years to come as attention spans steadily shrink and more and more spectacle is required of celebs just to keep people's interest. With such an insane life, occasionally a few celebs just snap. Some find endless riches in being dumbasses. Others seem determined to parlay their slow, agonizing fall from grace into a sort of morbid career move. It's the circus of celebrity in the 21st century.

Now check out our list of all the ingrained, inane and insane things celebs got up to in 2013. Do your best not to write off the human race entirely.

#10 - Reese Witherspoon

Reese Witherspoon's drunken shouting match with the cops arresting her and her husband for DUI might not have necessarily been a career killer, but it certainly made her one of the bigger idiots for a time in celebrity circles. Hey, many of us have done some stupid stuff when under the influence. Few have the nerve to go from drunken felonies directly into rants on how fame gives them immunity from prosecution. She later apologized, as many misbehaving celebs often do. Still, one wonders if such moments are merely intoxicated delusion, or hidden thoughts and feelings briefly let loose.

#9 - Alec Baldwin

Infamous hot head Alec Baldwin and his prolonged battles with the paparazzi started out somewhat comically this year as he wrestled with paps trying to snap pics of his preggo wife. The funny quickly ran out though when his antics degenerated into gay slurs and self destruction, which caused him to lose his sedate talk show as well as some respect from his peers and the public at large. You'd think he would have realized by now that his explosive outbursts are exactly the reason he's being hounded by paps. If he just stayed cool, it wouldn't be such a problem.

#8 - Amanda Bynes

There was much weirdness circulating around Amanda Bynes in 2012. That continued this year, with plenty of head-shaking moments circulating social networks and the various media outlets. At first it seemed the drugs were getting the best of her, but what we later learned of was a deeper mental instability behind her strange behavior. Soon she was hospitalized and legally separated from both her money and responsibility for her own person. Once bright and beautiful, now unstable and disheveled, Amanda's 2013 was a sad, sometimes frightening statement on how mental instability can so effectively destroy lives.

#7 - Chris Brown

Speaking of unstable. Is there anything more cliched and annoying that the thuggish pop star who can't keep his hands to himself? Made a virtual public menace by his violent assault against his girlfriend Rihanna a few years back, Brown's promises of reform became just as ridiculous as the behavior that betrayed them in 2013. Fighting outside of clubs, fighting with fellow pop stars, fighting with fans, Brown certainly lived up to his notorious reputation this year. Now legally reprimanded to a rehab center for his anger issues, Brown spent much of 2013 proving that fame, fortune and millions of fans are no match for assholes determined to be themselves.

#6 - Tila Tequila

Fearing she had been all but forgotten by most folks, Tila Tequila decided a great way to reinvigorate her so-called fame in 2013 was to show some love for the tinfoil hat crowd as well as genocidal regimes. Thus her numerous social media rants where she shifts from advocations for Nazism and proclamations over Hitler's unfair demonization, to warnings over global domination from lizard people, impending interstellar wars and her own Egyptian goddess heritage. Who would have ever thought we'd be longing for the days when Tila was just a notorious slut on reality shows?

#5 - Farrah Abraham

There were a few notorious names this year doing their best to make public opinion on forced sterilizations a little more favorable. Farrah Abraham was one of them. Originally earning her fame for being a teenager who got knocked up on TV, that fame obviously lost its staying power once she hit her 20s. In need of a new reason to be infamous for irresponsible acts and clearly not concerned with the future mental trauma her illegitimate child will suffer by her actions, Farrah decided to swap premature parenthood as a teen mom for mass media buggery as The Backdoor Mom. It was an obvious progression of behavior, if not a totally pathetic one.

#4 - Kim & Kanye

I don't think anyone was under the impression that a union between notorious attention hounds Kanye West and Kim Kardashian would somehow settle them down. Quite the contrary. Now joined forces in a mutual desire for media domination, their antics have been the epitome of manufactured and over-the-top from day one. Starting with her well publicised knocking up by West before she'd even completed her divorce from her last husband and proceeding into their million dollar engagement event, the future promises even more absurdity from these two. No doubt their upcoming wedding will be a giant media circus, to be outstripped only by the tabloid insanity sure to follow in the wake of their inevitable break up.

#3 - Lindsay Lohan

Last year's winner of the most explosive celebrity train wreck, Lindsay Lohan, saw her prolonged decline slowed by court orders and the limits of human endurance. Sentenced once again to rehab that proved mostly ineffectual as usual, she continued to be a pain in the ass to everything from courts to club owners in 2013. She's since decided to finish off yet another year of stupidity by sueing Rockstar games, makers of the popular Grand Theft Auto games, for allegedly using her image for their game. As this Tweet suggests, she may be right.

#2 - Miley Cyrus

What to say about Miley Cyrus? I suppose it could be argued that her reinvention this year as a unabashed sex pot was anything but a train wreck. After all, her literal tongue-wagging and twerking exploits sold millions of albums and made her the subject of constant coverage in social media and even the nightly news. However, she managed all this by effectively trashing the positive public image she spent years building as Hanna Montana and later under her own name. In that process, Miley has become just another slutified singer, one amidst a crowd glutted with similar personalities. The shock value of such an extreme dichotomy might have helped move a few more albums into iTunes check out bins, but the novelty is wearing out fast. Don't be surprised if her follow-up exploits fail to do as well and her time in the spotlight gradually diminishes in years to come.

#1 - Justin Bieber

If there was one celebrity who just needed to go away in 2013, it was Justin Bieber. Hardly a week went by this year when he wasn't doing something to piss everyone off and make himself look like a spoiled, wannabe hardass brat in dire need of a good spanking and a trip to his room without supper. Once rightfully celebrated as a young talent who made his way to fame in a novel way, Bieber has since made the same mistake as so many misguided celebs before him, namely believing his own hype. The result of this is an entitled, self indulgent asshole who roams the world doing as he pleases with little if any repercussions. He has become an example of the very worst the celebrity world has to offer.

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10:50PM on 12/16/2013

Yeah...

I'm watching Natural Born Killers as I read this and I think that it is a more optimistic vision of humanity than this list. God, talk about all that is wrong with this country and our culture. To an extent Cyrus deserves some credit. In a Machiavellian sort of way she did manage to make herself relevant again in the span of about a week. My only condolence regarding #4 is the most recent South Park (thank God for Trey Parker and Matt Stone having no fear to go after people that deserve it).
I'm watching Natural Born Killers as I read this and I think that it is a more optimistic vision of humanity than this list. God, talk about all that is wrong with this country and our culture. To an extent Cyrus deserves some credit. In a Machiavellian sort of way she did manage to make herself relevant again in the span of about a week. My only condolence regarding #4 is the most recent South Park (thank God for Trey Parker and Matt Stone having no fear to go after people that deserve it). Anyway while it may only be once a year even this list is giving these people too much attention. Maybe don't even do it next year.
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7:20PM on 12/16/2013
She used to look cute, then came the surgery and porn. Mother of the year folks
She used to look cute, then came the surgery and porn. Mother of the year folks
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7:17PM on 12/16/2013
I'm not mad at Miley. She's just a young girl trying to figure out who she is. I would love, however, to be alone with Kanye in a room without windows. Kim can watch. And Bieber needs to chill out with his lil attitude. Watching rap videos and emulating them does not make you a tough ass. Even less so when you only act like a tough ass when your mob of bodyguards separate you from catching a world class beatdown...
I'm not mad at Miley. She's just a young girl trying to figure out who she is. I would love, however, to be alone with Kanye in a room without windows. Kim can watch. And Bieber needs to chill out with his lil attitude. Watching rap videos and emulating them does not make you a tough ass. Even less so when you only act like a tough ass when your mob of bodyguards separate you from catching a world class beatdown...
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+1
6:06PM on 12/16/2013
Since when does spitting on your own fans from a hotel balcony and then laughing about it make you the world's biggest douchenozzle? ... Oh, right.
Since when does spitting on your own fans from a hotel balcony and then laughing about it make you the world's biggest douchenozzle? ... Oh, right.
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4:11PM on 12/16/2013
He's the kind of asshole to really go out his way to be an asshole!
He's the kind of asshole to really go out his way to be an asshole!
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3:53PM on 12/16/2013
I'm really looking forward to the day when Bieber pisses off the wrong person and just gets the shit beaten out of him. Or her - I really can't tell.
I'm really looking forward to the day when Bieber pisses off the wrong person and just gets the shit beaten out of him. Or her - I really can't tell.
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3:50PM on 12/16/2013
This guy is such a dick. What really pisses me off though is that he acts like he's the victim. Chris Brown is just out of control and needs someone to give him an ass kicking.
This guy is such a dick. What really pisses me off though is that he acts like he's the victim. Chris Brown is just out of control and needs someone to give him an ass kicking.
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3:47PM on 12/16/2013
I kind of get the feeling that was just a one time drunken rant. I haven't heard about anything else really scandalous about Reese.
I kind of get the feeling that was just a one time drunken rant. I haven't heard about anything else really scandalous about Reese.
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+2
12:49PM on 12/16/2013

I really stopped giving a S#!T what he had to say

When he swore if Bush won again he was moving to France, he would be done with American and it's stupid people. Then Bush won and he stayed here, making money off America and it's people. Where else could he talk that way to his children and the general public without paying a price? Used to be a big fan, now I wish I could run into him in public somewhere so I could give him a taste of his own medicine.
When he swore if Bush won again he was moving to France, he would be done with American and it's stupid people. Then Bush won and he stayed here, making money off America and it's people. Where else could he talk that way to his children and the general public without paying a price? Used to be a big fan, now I wish I could run into him in public somewhere so I could give him a taste of his own medicine.
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12:34PM on 12/16/2013

So much to hate in this list...hard to choose the worst

You could make an argument for Bieber and Cyrus switching places. I personally hate Cyrus more, because she's trying SO HARD and it's really obvious. Regardless of her 'true' personality, her persona and over-sexualization isn't sexy, just desperate. I.E. it's incredibly calculated. Whereas Bieber seems like he's truly a douche-tool. I think Cyrus is more guilty because she's being annoying on purpose whereas Bieber is very typical for a d-bag, the only difference is that he look 12.
You could make an argument for Bieber and Cyrus switching places. I personally hate Cyrus more, because she's trying SO HARD and it's really obvious. Regardless of her 'true' personality, her persona and over-sexualization isn't sexy, just desperate. I.E. it's incredibly calculated. Whereas Bieber seems like he's truly a douche-tool. I think Cyrus is more guilty because she's being annoying on purpose whereas Bieber is very typical for a d-bag, the only difference is that he look 12.
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11:36AM on 12/16/2013
Annoying and just rude.
Annoying and just rude.
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11:35AM on 12/16/2013
Hoping she fades away very soon. Like now.
Hoping she fades away very soon. Like now.
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11:35AM on 12/16/2013
What she needs is to get away from Hollywood or a damn judge to just throw the book at her.

What she needs is to get away from Hollywood or a damn judge to just throw the book at her.

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11:33AM on 12/16/2013
And I though Rob and Kristen were annoying.
And I though Rob and Kristen were annoying.
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11:30AM on 12/16/2013
I remember when she was a street racing model. Man, times have changed for the worse and she's an idiot.
I remember when she was a street racing model. Man, times have changed for the worse and she's an idiot.
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11:16AM on 12/16/2013
Should have taken a cab.
Should have taken a cab.
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10:38AM on 12/16/2013

Little Punk

When he first came on the scene I thought he and his music her perfect for the age range he was going for. He seemed harmless enough but then he started making the comments that made him seem like a airhead and spoiled brat.
When he first came on the scene I thought he and his music her perfect for the age range he was going for. He seemed harmless enough but then he started making the comments that made him seem like a airhead and spoiled brat.
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10:37AM on 12/16/2013

It worked

You can say whatever you like about her "act" and turn around but the fact is it shows how naive and gullible we are as people. Instead of ignoring it we fed into it and her image change worked.
You can say whatever you like about her "act" and turn around but the fact is it shows how naive and gullible we are as people. Instead of ignoring it we fed into it and her image change worked.
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10:36AM on 12/16/2013

Surprised she is still around

She is a disaster on two legs. I am surprised she hasn't been killed in her auto accidents
She is a disaster on two legs. I am surprised she hasn't been killed in her auto accidents
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10:35AM on 12/16/2013

I find them funny

They are so self-involved that whatever comes out of their mouths is comical.
They are so self-involved that whatever comes out of their mouths is comical.
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10:34AM on 12/16/2013
The difference between Miley and some of the others on this list is that she does things for shock value like wear slutty clothes or dance funny. She's not a drug addict or a racist or anything like that. She's a hardworking musician who uses shock value and dare I say talent to sell albums and it has made her an extremely successful musician. So I think she's had a great year.
The difference between Miley and some of the others on this list is that she does things for shock value like wear slutty clothes or dance funny. She's not a drug addict or a racist or anything like that. She's a hardworking musician who uses shock value and dare I say talent to sell albums and it has made her an extremely successful musician. So I think she's had a great year.
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9:41AM on 12/16/2013

Her Paul Walker comment

Just makes her seem like an idiot we all knew she was.
Just makes her seem like an idiot we all knew she was.
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9:41AM on 12/16/2013

The package deal (him and Rhianna)

Alone, he sucks, but my dislike with him comes with Rhianna. Both of them are examples of a toxic relationship that is really annoying to see and hear about. He knows he can do anything to her and get away with it. The fact that he knows that and still does it makes him in a douchebag. The fact that Rhianna keeps going back to him makes her a bigger douchebag.
Alone, he sucks, but my dislike with him comes with Rhianna. Both of them are examples of a toxic relationship that is really annoying to see and hear about. He knows he can do anything to her and get away with it. The fact that he knows that and still does it makes him in a douchebag. The fact that Rhianna keeps going back to him makes her a bigger douchebag.
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9:37AM on 12/16/2013

The most fascinating breakdown to come along in quite some time

She was never really sexualized, like Britney, so when this happened I thought it was a joke at first like Phoenix. Part of me thinks she still is punking us but the evidence clearly shows the opposite of my belief. I hope she bounces back because I like her as an actress.
She was never really sexualized, like Britney, so when this happened I thought it was a joke at first like Phoenix. Part of me thinks she still is punking us but the evidence clearly shows the opposite of my belief. I hope she bounces back because I like her as an actress.
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9:36AM on 12/16/2013

Oh, Alec

He is crazy. If I were a paparazzi, which I would never do, I would stay the hell away from him because he is fearless when it comes to protecting his family. I respect that and sort of sympathize with him. Much worse has been said than calling someone a faggot. It is amazing he still has a career, outside the MSNBC thing, because most actors would lost serious cred.
He is crazy. If I were a paparazzi, which I would never do, I would stay the hell away from him because he is fearless when it comes to protecting his family. I respect that and sort of sympathize with him. Much worse has been said than calling someone a faggot. It is amazing he still has a career, outside the MSNBC thing, because most actors would lost serious cred.
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9:32AM on 12/16/2013

I am 50/50 about her

Tracy Flick had to come from somewhere inside her..haha
Tracy Flick had to come from somewhere inside her..haha
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9:14AM on 12/16/2013
him and kanye are the worst i just cant stand them
him and kanye are the worst i just cant stand them
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9:12AM on 12/16/2013
would still do her yes im a slut lol
would still do her yes im a slut lol
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9:10AM on 12/16/2013
fuck them both
fuck them both
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9:09AM on 12/16/2013
um wtf
um wtf
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9:08AM on 12/16/2013
douchebag
douchebag
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9:06AM on 12/16/2013
at least she has gotten help
at least she has gotten help
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8:19AM on 12/16/2013
A fellow schmoe said it best here on Movie Hotties, paraphrasing Twister: "It's a F-5 douche tornado!"
A fellow schmoe said it best here on Movie Hotties, paraphrasing Twister: "It's a F-5 douche tornado!"
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4:01AM on 12/16/2013
I was pretty sure Miley would top the list but I can't fault the choice of Bieber. I was among those who thought he deserved a chance when he was being ridiculed in 2010 and 2011 but over the past year he has fully proven himself deserving of all the scorn and more. Starting a concert two hours late on a Sunday night with school the next day, resulting in parents missing the last train home was far from the biggest dick move he made and that's saying something.
I was pretty sure Miley would top the list but I can't fault the choice of Bieber. I was among those who thought he deserved a chance when he was being ridiculed in 2010 and 2011 but over the past year he has fully proven himself deserving of all the scorn and more. Starting a concert two hours late on a Sunday night with school the next day, resulting in parents missing the last train home was far from the biggest dick move he made and that's saying something.
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3:57AM on 12/16/2013
Irredeemable.
Irredeemable.
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3:56AM on 12/16/2013
Alas. As recently as Easy A she seemed level-headed and really hot.
Alas. As recently as Easy A she seemed level-headed and really hot.
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