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12.30.2013by: Salacious Crumb

Top 10 Memorable Hottie Moments of 2013

When the year comes to a close, one can't help but feel inspired to look back on the events that have taken place over the past 12 months, what we've gained, and what we've lost. Sadly, in the world of MovieHotties, we've actually lost a fair share in 2013, what with Girls Gone Wild gone bankrupt and the downsizing of Angelina Jolie's boobies. That said, there has been a considerable number of great things to come out of 2013, as well! Why don't we have ourselves a gander at some of them right now? Here are our Top 10 Memorable Moments of 2013!

#10: The GoDaddy geek made out with everybody

I suppose this is somewhat of a sick, twisted way to kick this thing off, but we all remember the act of model Bar Refaeli locking lips with the GoDaddy nerd (Jesse Heiman), almost too vividly. This commercial, which aired during the Superbowl, caused a stir in the media because… oh, who knows? Probably because it drove so many of us schmoes legally insane with envy, especially because it didn't stop there. This dorkwad of dorkwads went on to tongue-wrestle with Maria Menounos, Jenny McCarthy and many others. I still have yet to decide whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. Still, it was a memorable moment, so it should appear somewhere on this list.

#9: Katherine Webb's hotness made her famous for a couple weeks

Who doesn't remember that awkward moment when famed sportscaster Brent Musburger got distracted by Katherine Webb's blaring ray of beauty? You'd have to, because the media practically shoved it down our throats. This event may not go down in history, but it was kind of a big deal for a couple weeks. Soon after, Webb was featured in the 2013 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, so clearly, she didn't mind the attention. She also went on to participate in the first season of the celebrity-reality diving show "Splash", but decided to leave the series early. There's no telling why Katherine put an end to her own 15 minutes of fame, but it was fun while it lasted.

#8: Jennifer Love Hewitt knows her audience

What a way to go out just before getting hitched and impregnated a few months later. Jennifer Love Hewitt started the year off ever so sweetly with yet another superfluously sexualized promo for her show "The Client List", which was recently canceled. While the show may have sucked, J-Love certainly didn't seem to shy away wearing racy outfits on it. That especially goes for this promo, which was shown in movie theaters all across the country. Just when you thought taking your kids to see ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH in 3-D was going to be a painful friday evening, you're treated with an old-school hottie exploiting her greatest assets. Of course, I'm referring to Jennifer's beautiful vocals.

What lovely vocals, indeed.

#7: Olivia Wilde is the greatest fiance ever

Just in case you hadn't figured that out already. We all want to believe that being the funny guy can get you laid just as much as being a shirtless frolfer. Whether or not that's true, Jason Sudeikis is one lucky S.O.B. His fiancé, Olivia Wilde, may be beautiful and talented, but she also took him to a strip joint for their anniversary.

"Olivia booked the private champagne room with two dancers. She took Jason inside, and while he wasn’t allowed to touch the dancers, she could touch them. They were in there for two hours, Olivia picked up the entire tab. Jason is a lucky guy.'"

So there you have it, folks. Olivia Wilde is the real Santa Claus.

#6: Alice Eve's underwear started a riot

Has there every been a sillier fuss made over two seconds of film in cinematic history? To be fair, I'm a STAR WARS guy, and I didn't think a flash of ladies' undergarments could ruin the integrity of a STAR TREK movie (especially when it was much more apparent in the 2010 film). However, I think the fact that Alice Eve received so much attention over this only makes this scene stick out even more. It also marks the first on-record intentional lens flare off of a bra in a feature film, thanks to visionary director J.J. Abrams.

#5: Maxim reconnected us with our past crushes

I've gotta tip my hat to the folks over at Maxim magazine for taking a different approach with their cover girls lately. Instead of sticking to the usual goulash of A-listers and whoever's relevant to the movies, they started pulling out hotties we'd almost forgotten about (and probably would have, if it weren't for them). Of course, Lacey Chabert, Elisha Cuthbert and even Taylor Momsen were featured this year, but the one that really caught us off guard is "Boy Meets World" star Danielle Fishel. Topanga, or not Topanga?

#4: Jessica Alba made a great point

It's funny how something so simple can make such a huge impact on a shcmoe's week. Jessica Alba had a rough 2012, but between the return of her epic beach booty and her left breast slipping out of her shirt on a hot summer day, this was definitely a comeback year for her. I know she played the Invisible Woman, but I had no idea the padding on her bra was invisible, too. I want that action figure.

#3: Gemma Aterton was Betty Page

Enjoy classic pin-up models? Enjoy Gemma Arterton? Then look no further! It's Gemma Arterton in "Being Betty Page", a fun, classy and of course, inconceivably sexy tribute to Betty Page for LOVE magazine. This moment flew right by my radar when it first occurred, and seemed to come out of nowhere. I first noticed it when it was posted on Movie Fan Central by WalkAway, and it was love at first sight. I guess that's what the magazine was going for, huh?

#2: Kate Upton brought the heat to Antarctica

As if global warming wasn't a big enough issue as it is. I suppose we shouldn't surprised by Kate Upton's monstrous mounds of mayhem stomping into our territory, kicking ass and taking names this year. After 2012, Kate had quite a reputation to live up to. So how did she top herself? Well, by sailing out to Antarctica for her Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover shoot, of course! This was the first time an elaborate bikini photoshoot had ever been attempted on the continent, and it wasn't an easy task. Kate has expressed the pain and torture she underwent being half-naked in the freezing cold, but luckily, she had two large igloos attached to her body.

#1: Kelly Brook let it all hang loose

If you have a mind like ours, you probably enjoy yourself some Kelly Brook. Sure, the British brunette has plenty of nude-tastic moments under her belt as it is. But the more we grow to love her, deeper into the shadows they hide. At least I thought that little haiku was true until this glorious day, when Kelly exploded with dozens upon dozens of fantastical topless photos from the beaches of Cancun, Mexico. Who'da thunk we'd get to see Kelly do what she does best during her very own vacation? This is most certainly one of the greatest things that happened in 2013, and probably in the history of mankind.

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4:58AM on 01/01/2014
Even if you think her boobs are awesome(because of course huge tits must be awesome), the rest of her body is really bad. Flabby stomach, no ass at all, especially in comparison to the size of her boobs, and she has no hips because her waist is so big. Horrible choice for #2 if you ask me.
Even if you think her boobs are awesome(because of course huge tits must be awesome), the rest of her body is really bad. Flabby stomach, no ass at all, especially in comparison to the size of her boobs, and she has no hips because her waist is so big. Horrible choice for #2 if you ask me.
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10:50PM on 12/31/2013
yummy yummy
yummy yummy
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7:41AM on 12/31/2013
My #1 choice would be Emma Watson dancing with her tongue out. That was a game changer.
My #1 choice would be Emma Watson dancing with her tongue out. That was a game changer.
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7:40AM on 12/31/2013
Not to mention made one of my fantasies come true by having Melissa Rauch finally reveal the perfect body she's always had and putting Kaley Cuoco to shame.
Not to mention made one of my fantasies come true by having Melissa Rauch finally reveal the perfect body she's always had and putting Kaley Cuoco to shame.
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3:43AM on 12/31/2013
Despite her ridiculous career handicapping stubbornness to not do nude scenes, we finally got to see her nipples again, or one of them at least. This hasn't happened since 2005 when she wore that see through top for the MTV movie awards. Since then it has only been vaguely see through photos and bs body doubles, but not this time. She might as well just start doing nude scenes now.
Despite her ridiculous career handicapping stubbornness to not do nude scenes, we finally got to see her nipples again, or one of them at least. This hasn't happened since 2005 when she wore that see through top for the MTV movie awards. Since then it has only been vaguely see through photos and bs body doubles, but not this time. She might as well just start doing nude scenes now.
Your Reply:



3:25AM on 12/31/2013
More proof Olivia Wilde is the hottest most awesome female actor out there.
More proof Olivia Wilde is the hottest most awesome female actor out there.
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12:11AM on 12/31/2013
This was not the most memorable hottie moment of 2013. More like the most memorable hottie gone wrong moment of 2013, because she really "let it all hang loose", and there was way too much of it all over the place. Not to mention the worst memorable bikini bottoms moment of 2013.
This was not the most memorable hottie moment of 2013. More like the most memorable hottie gone wrong moment of 2013, because she really "let it all hang loose", and there was way too much of it all over the place. Not to mention the worst memorable bikini bottoms moment of 2013.
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6:07PM on 12/30/2013
People complaining about that scene is one of the dumbest things of 2013.
People complaining about that scene is one of the dumbest things of 2013.
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4:21PM on 12/30/2013
What a bunch of prudes
What a bunch of prudes
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2:44PM on 12/30/2013
I guess what stunts my affection for Kelly Brook is that I have a friend from high school who looks just like her when she's dressed down. I'm not sure if she would look like her when she's dolled up for a photoshoot because very few regular gals have the opportunity to have a stylist and Photoshop expert to do that magic for them. Honestly, my friend Alison is a busty brunette who could easily pass as Kelly's sister and since I've known her forever and she's such a normal gal to me, I don't
I guess what stunts my affection for Kelly Brook is that I have a friend from high school who looks just like her when she's dressed down. I'm not sure if she would look like her when she's dolled up for a photoshoot because very few regular gals have the opportunity to have a stylist and Photoshop expert to do that magic for them. Honestly, my friend Alison is a busty brunette who could easily pass as Kelly's sister and since I've known her forever and she's such a normal gal to me, I don't find Kelly to be some kind of mega-goddess, just a busty, attractive brunette who looks good with some polish.
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2:05PM on 12/30/2013
Gemma is sex!
Gemma is sex!
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1:46PM on 12/30/2013
Topanga is weird looking. Always has been. I don't get it.
Topanga is weird looking. Always has been. I don't get it.
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10:41AM on 12/30/2013
She totally knows how hot she is and I love how she toys with us in each and every photo that gets taken of her.
She totally knows how hot she is and I love how she toys with us in each and every photo that gets taken of her.
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10:40AM on 12/30/2013
This was definitely my top hottie moment of the year. Kelly should be topless all the time.
This was definitely my top hottie moment of the year. Kelly should be topless all the time.
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10:38AM on 12/30/2013
Even if Kate doesn't have a typical model's body those boobs are still awesome.
Even if Kate doesn't have a typical model's body those boobs are still awesome.
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10:38AM on 12/30/2013
See-through goodness! She's made quite the hottie comeback this year in spite of only being in Escape from Planet Earth and (briefly) Machete Kills.
See-through goodness! She's made quite the hottie comeback this year in spite of only being in Escape from Planet Earth and (briefly) Machete Kills.
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10:37AM on 12/30/2013
Arterton is definitely nice looking but Gretchen Mol was a better Betty Page.
Arterton is definitely nice looking but Gretchen Mol was a better Betty Page.
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10:36AM on 12/30/2013
Lacey Chabert's my favourite of all those listed.
Lacey Chabert's my favourite of all those listed.
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10:36AM on 12/30/2013
The Chabert and Cuthbert shoots were amazing. Both of them should be getting more work too as they are actually talented as well as beautiful.
The Chabert and Cuthbert shoots were amazing. Both of them should be getting more work too as they are actually talented as well as beautiful.
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10:35AM on 12/30/2013
"Has anyone seen my uniform?!" [link]
"Has anyone seen my uniform?!" [link]
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10:34AM on 12/30/2013
I tried watching The Client List but the show was just terrible. Hewitt certainly did look amazing in the one episode i saw though. I love her boobs.
I tried watching The Client List but the show was just terrible. Hewitt certainly did look amazing in the one episode i saw though. I love her boobs.
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10:30AM on 12/30/2013
I really, really hope someone took video of this and that it gets out. Olivia Wilde going girl on girl. SUDEEEEEIKIIIISSS!!!! *Shakes fists*
I really, really hope someone took video of this and that it gets out. Olivia Wilde going girl on girl. SUDEEEEEIKIIIISSS!!!! *Shakes fists*
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10:27AM on 12/30/2013
I already viewed him as the luckiest guy in the world given all his appearances as an extra in just about every single movie: [link]
I already viewed him as the luckiest guy in the world given all his appearances as an extra in just about every single movie: [link]
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10:26AM on 12/30/2013
Proper #1
Proper #1
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10:26AM on 12/30/2013
YES. She's so hott
YES. She's so hott
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