I don't know who I think I am to take on the "Top 10 Most Memorable Hottie Moments of 2012", but dammit if I'm not going to try! I literally went through every single page of MovieHotties posted from January 2012 in search of potential candidates. Every. Single. God. Forsaken. One. Why? Because I CARE, that's why. Why else? Because I've got more time on my hands than a guy who sneezes clocks. I also had help from the crew, JoBlo, friends, family, my cat, Siri, a pencil and the many voices chanting barbaric hymns in my head. As you will see, I ultimately narrowed it down to the more positive stories. Some are broad, some are more specific. There is ONE leaked nude on the list, but it's not Anne Hathaway's "path-a-way", if you catch my drift (who am I, Mr. Skin?). Feel free to strike back if you think we left out something big and want to scream at us. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy this list of awesome hottie moments from 2012...
I'm giving this one an "honorable mention" since no one recommended it to me, and I myself didn't remember it until the last minute. However, if you attended the 2012 San Diego Comic-Con, you may remember this pretty vividly. Word quickly got out when Chinese/Irish actress Kaitlyn Leeb appeared at Comic-Con as the three-boobed chick from the TOTAL RECALL redux, so movie nerds from around the world could meet her, take pictures, and ogle her up close. Of course, had that movie not sucked so much, this instance probably would've been much more memorable. Still, it's cool that this woman had the courage to enter "the land of a million nerds" in such a provocative outfit. They may be a phony threesome, but that doesn't mean Kaitlyn didn't work the hell out of 'em.
You may remember this commercial from Super Bowl XLVI, but you'd be wrong. About 11 months ago, Megan Fox took part in this promotional video for a foreign language school in Brazil, in which two Brazilian teenagers are cast away on an island inhabited by Megan Foxes. Only problem is, once they start talking, the Foxes don't understand, and become disinterested. Yup, sounds like typical Megan Fox (I keed, I keed!). Granted, this video would've been at the top of the list had it been made two years earlier. Still, it's fun when a hottie publicly acknowledges the depraved way in which we view them by doing something like this.
I never thought I'd be saying this, but it's truly sad we will never again get to see Sara Jean Underwood play dress-up on "Attack of the Show". Despite all the back-and-forth chatter regarding her loyalty as a nerd-girl, frankly, I'm just thankful she's out there doing what she's doing. In 2012, Sara provided us with plenty of memorable moments, but perhaps the most badass of all was when she arrived at a "slave Leia carwash" dressed as Padmé Amidala. It made me want to break out my Star Wars action-figures and play with them like Dark Helmet would. Only shame here is they didn't wash the Millennium Falcon, with all those hard-to-reach areas. Oh well, at least those Jawas finally got some action.
I spend a good portion of my morning scouring through pictures of tits and ass to share with the masses, and nothing annoys me more than the abundance of pointless "on the street" candids of casually-dressed celebrities just trying to get a hotdog, which is why I love this next memorable moment. Emma Stone & Andrew Garfield turned the tables on the paparazzi one day, when they were informed by restaurant employees that the pappos were outside and ready to ambush them. So they whipped up an important message with a marker and some napkins that read like this…
"We just found out that there were paparazzi outside the restaurant we were eating in. So... why not take this opportunity to bring attention to organizations that need and deserve it?
I may differ with a lot of my fellow movie fans when I say I'm not crazy about Sasha Baron Cohen's antics. I was alright with it when I didn't really know who he was, but once he shaved off the Borat mustache I kinda stopped caring. That said, I did chuckle a bit when I first saw these pics of his character from THE DICTATOR on a yacht with Elizabetta Canalis, in the harbor of the Cannes Film Festival. Knowing paparazzi would turn up once Canalis was seen bending over in a bikini, Sasha came out in his full DICTATOR get-up, and began acting out a scenario where he presents his genitalia to her and she starts laughing hysterically. Not only laughing, but taking pictures… and as you can see, this leads to unfortunate ends for Elizabetta.
This last year, Sara Jean Underwood and Kate Upton both blessed us with plenty photoshoots that raised our heart-rates. They also raised out cholesterol. No one plays it less subtle with the sex in their advertising than Carl's Jr. (besides Axe body-spray, GoDaddy.com, and DeBeers jewelry). This year made sure our HD televisions were an arm-and-a-leg well spent by presenting Kate Upton in the back seat of a car at the drive-in movie theater, getting hot and heavy with a Southwest Patty Melt. She made all of our patties melt. Then later in the year, we watched Sara Jean Underwood and Emily Ratajkowski chow down simultaneously on a Memphis Barbecue burger. The epic hotness of these viral videos is enough to give any viewer mad cow disease.
In two separate instances of badass-dome, a couple of our favorite (likewise) badass hotties proved themselves to be real life heroes (or good-natured people, anyway). Back in May, when a man who works in Mila Kunis' home began to suffer from a violent seizure, Mila rushed to the scene. He was coughing up blood, so Mila held his head to the side until help arrived. She even offered to ride in the ambulance with him, but the stupidest authority figures ever said it wasn't necessary. All I know is if Mila Kunis ever offers to ride in an ambulance with me, I will destroy the man who denies her that ride.
Then, in another act of bravery, Jennifer Lawrence was out walking her dog one day, when woman on the street suddenly started to faint (she was probably stunned by her beauty). Jennifer was the first of many around to notice this, so she put on her Wonder Woman cape and quickly came to the woman's aide. I pray that when I inevitably have a stroke, Jennifer will be there to take care of me.
Just when you think you couldn't possibly love Sofia Vergara more, she goes and does something like this. Sofia was already attracting a lot of attention when she arrived at the 2012 Primetime Emmy Awards in September, but it wasn't until towards the end when her awesome wardrobe malfunction came into play. Just moments before "Modern Family" received its third consecutive Emmy for "Outstanding Comedy Series", Sofia's hourglass figure became too much for her dress to handle, and her bare buttocks popped out to say "hello". Most actresses would be in tears of embarrassment if this were to happen to them, but not Sofia. She handled it by posting an up-close shot of it on her Twitter page, so the whole world could enjoy! God bless you, Sofia Vergara. Seriously.
There are few things more awkwardly funny than a perverted old geezer making everyone feel uncomfortable. Remember when Jeff Bridges and Michael Douglas were vying to be possible leads in a movie called DIRTY GRANDPA? Well they might want to consider using Oliver Stone instead, after he was "caught" attempting to cop a feel of Salma's Hayeks during one of the many European premieres of SAVAGES. Salma didn't seem all too pleased with this, but Stone never got a chance to get a whole handful (or give her the old "Oliver Twist"). By doing this, Oliver put his credibility as a professional at risk, but hey, he came closer to living out a worldwide fantasy than any of us ever will.
There was a glorious day back in March when something amazing happened. Something we "Mad Men" fanatics had only dreamed about, but never ever thought would become a reality. Of course, I'm referring to the reveal of the bare bountiful bosoms of Christina Hendricks. Yet another case of "leaked nudes" in this golden age of cell-phones and computers. The photos spread faster than a drunk girl's legs on prom night. While I'm certain Christina was just thrilled about this, it couldn't be discarded from the "memorable moments" list. Of course, Christina denied that the topless pic is actually her. Why don't you be the judge by clicking the image below? Take your time.
One beautiful thing in cinema that should never go unappreciated is the combination of a hotties, guns and skintight leather (or spandex) catsuits. This year, we were lucky to witness plenty of femme fatale strapped in shiny dark attire, often doing flippy-spinnies in the air and using their inner-thighs as a deadly weapon. Scarlett Johansson (THE AVENGERS) and Anne Hathaway (THE DARK KNIGHT RISES) provided us with plenty of reasons to keep our comic book fantasies a comin'. Kate Beckinsale (UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING) proved she's still the hottest movie vamp, and continued to show "leather-clad ass" pride in Maxim magazine, and at the San Diego Comic-Con. Even Kelly Brook delighted us with a long-overdue bodysuit appearance in "Metal Hurlant". Overall, it was a stand-out year for ass-kicking chicks in tight outfits. Now all I need is a whip and a detachable mask with a mouth-zipper.
When it comes to the hottest magazine shoots of 2012, Kate Upton takes the cake (or pops out of it; whichever you'd prefer). She put the "lust" in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, went topless in Esquire, and also played "sexy bunny" in that ridiculously hot Easter video. But if I can count on our frequent MovieHotties readers remembering one sexy moment from 2012, it's this titillating set from Kate in GQ magazine. Sleazy photographer Terry Richardson's masterpiece is also probably Kate's best shoot to date. For a 20-year-old, she sure has set some pretty high stakes for herself, and we can't wait to see what she has in store for 2013.